Albert - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hello my name is Albert Belle. I was the American League MVP in 1995 and one of the most physically talented baseball players of all time. I've made sweet love to hundreds of pretty little white women, all while Barry White and/or Isaac Hayes played. I once spit on an umpire, and once I fucked up Robby Alomar when he got in the basepath. That was pretty sweet. But I got fined for it, so I killed Bud Selig's children. I retired in 2001, but I still got paid $10,000,000 a year in 2001, 2002, 2003. So now I pretty much just sit around and have sex with pretty white women and listen to Barry White and Isaac Hayes. I've had tantric sex for days at a time. I am a very spiritual person, and love Kabbalah. I have some anger problems. I hope you will be my MySpace friend and send me some naked pictures of yourself.- Albert BelleP.S. - I will only be your friend if you are a pretty white woman.

My Interests

I used to be interested in baseball, but I don't play anymore, so baseball is dead to me. I'm a big fan of kabbalah, tai-chi, having sex with pretty white women, Isaac Hayes, and Barry White. I also really enjoy a nice cold Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper.

I'd like to meet:

I'm sure I've fathered hundreds of children I've never met. I guess I'd like to meet them.

Music:

Isaac Hayes and Barry White (RIP). And some Marvin Gaye, if my pretty little white woman is being fussy. I'd also like to thank them for keeping sex interesting, even past the 4 or 5 hour mark.

Movies:

Besides the ones I make with my pretty white women? None. Oh except for Shaft. Isaac Hayes did the soundtrack, and Shaft reminds me alot of myself.

Television:

Was Shaft on TV?

Books:

I memorized the Kama Sutra. And Wilt Chamberlain's autobiography - where he revealed that he's slept with 25,000 women - is gospel.

Heroes:

Albert Belle, Barry White, Isaac Hayes, Shaft, and, of course, Wilt Chamberlain. He had sex with 25,000 women, but I think only 10,000 of them were pretty white women.