Amanda V. profile picture

Amanda V.

Everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

About Me

I've come to realize that my life is chalk full of contradictions which makes me laugh quite regularly. My job as a Navy hospital corpsman at an urgent care clinic for military twits and their dependents is kind of silly seeing how I, for the most part, despise people and would rather they keep their physical ailments away from me. When I finish my stint in the service, I'd like to become a psych nurse, though I openly admit it's beacause I'm very self centered and I can somehow manage to relate a person's fucked up emotional issues to my relatively playful neurosis. I'm married to a man I have very little in common with. We dislike eachother's taste in music, television, sports, you name it. I get along with him better than anyone I've ever been in a relationship with. My general philosophy on life is if you can't do anything, just laugh. And I do- while being very careful not to choke on my Wellbutrin.
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My Interests

Drunken psuedo-tapdancing has always been a favorite, closely followed by the fabulous did-I-do-something-stupid-that-I-should-apologize-for-but-wo n't? game after a good night of drinking... it's like Clue, only better because you can't lose any little pieces that belong to the game.

I'd like to meet:

A war vet and a bus driver. I'd put a big bottle of Jack in between the two, sit back and listen to all their fucked up stories.

Music:

punk rock, psychobilly, rockabilly, old country... really anything but crap that happens to be highly marketable to the average 12 year old- I hate that shit and fear for kids these days.

Movies:

I like anything that makes me laugh.

Television:

Sex and the City. It's cheaper than therapy and makes me feel like a nun.

Books:

I like memiors about fucked up people. I hate life affirming memiors that make me feel like a loser for not accomplishing half the shit some kid born without limbs had done by the time he turned five.

Heroes:

My grandma's a bad ass bitch who came to this country from Yugoslavia when she was 11 not knowing a word of English. By the time she graduated highschool at 17, she was head of her class. She's smart as hell, can talk politics for hours and is hilarious when she's had a few to drink.

My Blog

PEACE TO A TRUE FIGHTER

RIP AMBER For someone who hated... everything, she sure was loved and admired by so many. For as long as I live, I'll never forget her smile, her laughter, and the way she scowled at anyone she found ...
Posted by Amanda V. on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 09:35:00 PST

laugh lines

So now that I'm all in love and getting married and shit, I guess I'm allowed to write cheesey love related shit from time to time.  I'm sitting here bullshiting in front of the computer while he...
Posted by Amanda V. on Thu, 30 Mar 2006 07:45:00 PST

I think I've had enough already

I'm so goddamn hungover.  And my toilet's grimey.  I don't want my head anywhere near it.  I feel old.  Too old for this shit.  Cheers!  Over....
Posted by Amanda V. on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

If I were sleeping I wouldn't be bitching...

God do I love waking up an hour earlier than usual just so I can go "muster" with a bunch of other people who want to sleep as much as I do so I can be stuck at the hospital all day and all night for ...
Posted by Amanda V. on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

if I don't remember it, it didn't happen

So here it is another Friday night and I'm sitting in front of this fucking computer feeling my back tighten up into a fun little ball of absolute pleasure. Who ever said life is not a constant party...
Posted by Amanda V. on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Just another "fine Navy day"...ugh

Today's my one year aniversary of being in the Navy. One year ago today I was at the airport thinking: "man, I sure do hope I get sent to a farm so I can do old peoples' vital signs all day long". I...
Posted by Amanda V. on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST