serotonin profile picture

serotonin

dreams are immortal

About Me

MyGen Profile Generator

some are born to sweet delight,some are born to the endless night


I think the safest thing to say about myself is that I am a person of contradictions, dancing on the borderline of my fluid existence. What was hidden-shall remain hidden within this solitude and what deserves to be seen or written, will eventually find it’s way out though words soaked with meaning. ain’t that what we’re all searching for, in a way?
I know the funniest things regarding myself- I know that the color of blue suits me the most, and yet I would never be caught wearing it outside the walls of my house, I know that my taste in music lacks the coherence to attribute me to any specific scene, and that I am able to enjoy the gentle nuances of various styles and moods. I know that I am one hell of a stubborn, annoying bitch and that I can be the best friend to whoever might deserve that, and I seem to be drawn to the comfort of solitude and words of dead artists the most. Nevertheless, my melancholy is a cynical one, and I reckon that if we cannot make fun of life-we might as well go and kill ourselves-which is more or less the direction modern civilization is pushing itself to, but hey, I do find comfort in the fact that cockroaches will survive. Someone must.
Either way, I don’t mind going too personal with this about section, after all, if I don’t scare you guys here- my imaginary body guards sure as hell won’t-lazy fucks that they are.
My interests are more or less divided. On the one hand, I enjoy styles of literature and art that offer the opportunity to find depth and opinions about our world in them, as well as the author's inner world and views. I enjoy stories-my life would have been a boring one without them,as well as art,be it deep and morbid or plain beautiful like the pre raphaelite. I have always been drawn to what people refer to as dark, long before I have discovered the wonderland of the alternative subculture. My barbaric classmates as well as the difficulty to adjust to a new culture had made it difficult for me to develop social skills. Part of me is misanthropic, the rest is just a disguise of old time awkwardness. So if I appear antisocial, think twice before you take it personally. If you master the ability of thinking twice, it might just be I will not find you worthy of my disgust. On the other hand I enjoy humor, especially bitter cynicism but silly shit just as well, Kevin smith is one fine provider of those. I am an alcoholic, a heavy smoker, and I am addicted to lingerie. I do not believe that a certain sense of aesthetics makes you superficial. I am in love with cats, although there will always be a warm place in my heart for owls and swans. But they should not be domesticated, you know that. My cat's name is ceaser, he understands Russian and likes to mark my shoes. I love kitschy tattoos, so far am the proud owner of 4. have been pierced 10 times-only 5 have survived till now.
i am going to add or approve people I know, people I would like to know or bands I like. Please don't add me just to fill your list.
p.s.none of the pictures presented in this profile are mine-sorry for my laziness to give specific credit.
You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

My Interests

reading, philosophy, poetry, writing poetry, music, philosophical conversations into the night, cats, angels,folklore,,fantasy,solitude, chocolate, drinking, perfumes, head banging,pre raphaelite art, melancholy, caresses, rain, coffee, humor, going to the gym, full moon

I'd like to meet:

like-minded people,imaginary friends, melancholic muses, and everything in between-including my reflection on the other side..

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: olga aka madrussian girl
Birthday: 17.9.
Birthplace: russia's red capital
Current Location: israhell
Eye Color: green or something
Hair Color: dark blond, changes constantly.
Height: 1.57
Right Handed or Left Handed: left hand path
Your Heritage: russian
The Shoes You Wore Today: boots
Your Weakness: laziness, beer
Your Fears: to die unfulfilled
Your Perfect Pizza: extra cheese, bacon, onions
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: driver's lisence, money for travelling
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: hmmmmmmmmm,dude
Thoughts First Waking Up: where the fuck am i?
Your Best Physical Feature: eyes, ass
Your Bedtime: by dawn
Your Most Missed Memory: notre dame
Pepsi or Coke: diet cocaine. or not.
MacDonalds or Burger King: i don't do fast food.
Single or Group Dates: single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: whatever
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee
Do you Smoke: hell yeah
Do you Swear: fuck you asshole,you homophobic redneck dick
Do you Sing: when i feel like scaring people away
Do you Shower Daily: i think i am personally drying the kinnereth out
Have you Been in Love: i thought so at the time
Do you want to go to College: i reckon i do
Do you want to get Married: no thanks
Do you belive in yourself: yes, sure, 98 percent of the time
Do you get Motion Sickness: it's all spinning we're on the ground
Do you think you are Attractive: don't you
Are you a Health Freak: i balance my poisons with vitamins
Do you get along with your Parents: not quite
Do you like Thunderstorms: but of course
Do you play an Instrument: your nerves
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: hell yeah
In the past month have you Smoked: cigarettes.yes.a lot.
In the past month have you been on : and off and on and off
In the past month have you gone on a Date: nope
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: nope
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope, i'm the bamba kind of person
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: i've had sushi once in my life. but i sure as hell used those sticks like a pro.
In the past month have you been on Stage: nope. but i've been second row.
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: not just yet
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: i've stollen time to take a cig-break, go figure
Ever been Drunk: the question is have i even been sober
Ever been called a Tease: who knows, perhaps behind my back
Ever been Beaten up: in juniour high. since than i've been punching around..
Ever Shoplifted: something small when i was little.don't send me to prison, please don't.
How do you want to Die: without suffering
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: but i don't want to grow up
What country would you most like to Visit: germany-again, ireland, australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: don't mind
Favourite Hair Color: don't mind
Short or Long Hair: don't mind, guys who look sexy with sort hair rule though
Height: i like them tall
Weight: fat is bad
Best Clothing Style: alternative
Number of I have taken: shu?
Number of CDs I own: not enough
Number of Piercings: 8
Number of Tattoos: 4 and counting
Number of things in my Past I Regret: regret is useless

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Music:


nevermore, arch enemy, death, dissection, amon amarth, hypocrisy, negura bunget, crowbar, dolorian, my dying bride, alice in chains, morbid angel, kataklysm, faith no more, mad season, akercocke, agathodaimon, theatre of tragedy, pantera, enslaved, primordial, swallow the sun, the doors, salem, anorexia nervoza, pearl jam, iced earth, napalm death, ancient rites, meshuggah, therion, samael, katatonia, mourning beloveth, october tide, cathedral, evoekn, alghazanth, blut aus nord, kampfar, mastodon, keep of kalessin, limbonic art, empyrium, winterhorde, winter, vintersorg, throes of dawn, evereve, strapping young lad, sentenced, rotting christ, in somnis, insomnium, lacrimas profendure, betzefer, shape of despair, pestilence, novembers doom, illdisposed, marduk, naglfar, void of silence, the red hot chili peppers, tankard...more or less..

Movies:

dead man, o brother where art thou, the big lebowski, blood simple, lost highway, mullholland drive, blue velvet, fire walk with me, sleepy hollow, edward scissor hands, mallrats, clercks, dogma, jay and silent bob strike back, the prophecy(1,2,3), the omen, rosemarry's baby, the ninth gate, matrix(1), dark city, strange days, natural born killers, the company of wolves, the princess bride, the virgin suicides, buffalo 66, arizona dream, my own private idaho, u turn, sin city, pulp fiction, lort, the 25th hour, american history x, fight club, donnie darko, freeway 2, the return, snach, lock stock, kalifornia, easy rider, american beauty, american psycho, interview with the vampire, the others, the crow, the virgin suicides, run lola run, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, fear and loathing in las vegas, bill and ted, the cube, amelie, leon, trainspotting, frida

    .
Make Your Movie Wall Flixster .

Television:

twin peaks, buffy the vampire slayer, house, weeds, six feet under,dexter, oz, heroes, lost, my name is earl, southpark, futurama, family guy, anime, carnival.,

Books:

100 years of solitude, fear and loathing in las vegas, master and margarita, the history of love, norwegian wood, murakami, bulgakov, paul auster, moon palace, the book of illusions, das parfum, saramago, erich maria remarque, trainspotting, bukowsky, dragonlance, anything challenging,portreit of an artist as a young dog,interview with the vampire(seriously, when i was younger,though), the bell jar, the cats cradle,

Heroes:

Hunter s.Thomphson, Jim Morrison, Nietchze, Ginger Fitzgerald

My Blog

they are busy with their choir.

Death and silence. Games. People are so obsessed with those attempts to find the significant other that would save them from themselves but really, those shadows that reside in this bleak, catastrophi...
Posted by serotonin on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 10:45:00 PST

nocturnal ranting

No, I shall not succumb to this madness again. There have always been multiple destructive forces in my life, yet you were the worst, the one pretending to help me. Oh and I'm sure it wasn't on purpos...
Posted by serotonin on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 06:20:00 PST

this is so fucking dramatic

Mine was the darkness at the end of the road. Shivering autumn leaves, so tranquil inside as you know, the universe is breathing along. And than I was pulled back into my own reality, and I insist upo...
Posted by serotonin on Sat, 29 Sep 2007 07:25:00 PST

until the morning light

Welcome back unemployment, sweet and cozy leisure, step by step I surrender to decadence again. It has only been a week... a cold and alienated week of isolation, as the ghosts of my friends, some of ...
Posted by serotonin on Sun, 10 Dec 2006 05:02:00 PST

it's gonna be me, yeah me

  taken and edited by miss raven there's more but i am too lazy to resize
Posted by serotonin on Mon, 24 Apr 2006 11:00:00 PST

insomniac vigor

Better late than never. I have finally had the spare time, motivation and energy to tackle with this soft, grayish unwelcome resident of my room, that hazy monster under my bed and on the carpets, the...
Posted by serotonin on Wed, 19 Apr 2006 12:31:00 PST

the gentle art of idleness

I've always wanted to capture a dream, liquid and full of possibilities, to capture a dream being fully awake, so that my consciousness and free will could travel freely through the labyrinths of my d...
Posted by serotonin on Wed, 19 Apr 2006 09:07:00 PST

a big bad blah

I think I tend to lose my balance too easily. The thing is, I've been feeling like a wreck for the entire week, something got screwed up again with my sleeping habits, and I am fucking fatigued. Damn,...
Posted by serotonin on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 02:28:00 PST

the sum of all lame dawns

A new weak has begun. The fresh morning air held a certain whiff of melancholy. The wind of changes, a new dawn for Catherine. As she sat by the window mourning the sudden death of her boyfriend, she ...
Posted by serotonin on Sun, 09 Apr 2006 11:41:00 PST

the vanishing coherence of a sober morning

Whereas tattoos hold a certain meaning to some people, others use it as a mere method of decoration. Come to think about it, all meanings in general are a certain way of decoration of our lives. When ...
Posted by serotonin on Sun, 09 Apr 2006 10:11:00 PST