Christopher profile picture

Christopher

My wang is one long piece of american pride

About Me

Gasoline fumes and the ever so wonderful fragrance of weed in the air makes my balls boil with happiness. I enjoy long walks on the beach; tea bagging all the hott, unsuspecting bitches. Seeing how my heritage (Cherrokee Indian) is not very much accepted amongst our culture anymore, I am known to the people as "that red minority kid." Kids steal my lunch money and burn tottem poles in front of my teepee all the time. I'll have their scalps soon enough.. I play the guitar with floating fingers of butterflies. Sometime when I'm feeling down, I slap on my Led vinyl and groove the righteous jams with my brother tony hawk, the pro skater. As for sports, I'm involed in any organized ones.. just some of the bedroom watersports ;-) by the way, i can make you sweat like a whore on nickel night.

My Interests

having sex with various partners, male or female. drinking gasoline so i can piss fire. surfing. roller derby. pretending im a turbo charged engine and my peace pipe is my blow off valve. making obnoxious gestures with my indian hands. my hair is fabulous. my car, which was made by the 27 virgins of sri lanka and imported here on the maiden voyage of the s.s. gilligan. my ass is fine!

I'd like to meet:

jim morrison. oh how i want to meet jimmie 3

Music:

doors, led, g-unit, benton, danzig, duran duran, monster garage, brandon allen

Movies:

gone with the wind, homeward bound

Television:

sally jesse, doctor phil, maury, hey dude, round house (old skool nickelodeon, G!)

Books:

war and peace

Heroes:

any man who has a longer wang than me, because he is obviously better.