Scroner profile picture

Scroner

and at that instant he knew, he ceased to know.

About Me

My goal in life is to run the Gauntlet on American Gladiators. Scratch that, I don't want to be an actor, but my new goal in life is to be in a straight to DVD action movie with Ice T and Rutger Hauer. I have nervous charm. In elementry school I wore shirts tucked into my sweatpants. In 7th grade I grew a fashion sense and started to wear rayon Parker Lewis shirts, apparently I was still watching the reruns and the shirts were still five years out of style. I'm kind of unassuming. For the most part I am quiet, it bothers me when I don't have the right words to say, which seems to be a lot of the time. I am polite, and that gets you far. I love Kristyn, she is my heart. I try to fashion myself after Bruce Springsteen and Bob Newhart, the sad part is that I am serious. Really, I look like Newhart but talk like Springsteen. Cyborgs can't feel emotion. I have good comedic timing. Oddly enough I have begun to collect T-shirts with Mariachi's on them. Sunday morning breakfast at The Toasted Bun always makes me happy. I hate when guys wear flip flops with jeans, it makes me angry. One can never have enough grappling hooks. I hate Chevy Chase, yet ironically I live near Chevy Chase Street and Griswald. I am also not a fan of Martin Short, or the elderly man on the electric scooter who lives on my street. The best line of the day, " I just snarked ".

My Interests

Being with my Strawberry, Rockin', Disliking Going to the Gym Then Going Anyway, Pro-Tools, iPods, Stand Up Comedy, Sketch Comedy, Axl Rose, Guitar, Chai Tea in Fall and Winter, Old Cameras, Howard Stern, Growing Beards Then Shaving Them Off, Iced Chai Tea in Spring and Summer, Rabbits, Wiener Dogs, My House Slippers, Growing Grey Hair, Working, Writing, Burritos at SFSU and Taco Fiesta, Horchata, Choco Taco's, Ice Cream Sandwiches, Grafting mechanics onto police officers to make the ultimate crime fighting cyborg, a Robo Cop if you will.

I'd like to meet:

Clarence.. HaverchuckThe BossThe DulliThe Mats'

Music:

Oh Boy.... Stand Up's: Patton Oswalt, Mitch Hedberg, Nick Swardsen, Richard Pryor...The Afghan Whigs, Archers of Loaf, Big Country, Black Flag, Bob Dylan, Brand New, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, Cocteu Twins, Depeche Mode, The Descendents, Dimond J and the Rough, Dramarama, Elliott Smith, Elvis Costello, Explosions In The Sky, Face to Face, TGUK, The Gaslight Anthem, Greg Dulli, G ' N' R, Helmet, The Hold Steady, HRC, Husker Du, Idlewild, Jawbox, Jawbreaker, Jay-Z, The Jealous Sound, Johnny Cash, Knapsack, The Lemonheads, Lifetime, The Loved Ones, Matt Pond PA, Matt Sharp, Minus the Bear, Mission Of Burma, Mogwai, Moz, Mos Def, My Bloody Valentine, NaS, The National, Neutral Milk Hotel, The New Ams, Oasis, Olympic Year, Paul Westerberg, Pedro the Lion, Radiohead, Refused, The Rentals, The Replacements, The Rolling Stones, Sigur Ros, Slowdive, The Smiths, Superdrag, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, The Twilight SingersA Lot More...

Movies:

R Kelly's Trapped In A Closet, True Romance, Basquiat, LA Story, Snow Angels, Bottle Rockets, Rushmore, The Royal Tannenbaums, The Life Aquatic, Wake Up Ron Burgandy, Badlands, Collateral, Donnie Darko, Elf, Anchorman, Kicking and Screaming, At Close Range, The Graduate, Risky Business, The Low Life, Garden State, Eternal Sunshine, Zoolander, Kingpin, Lost in Translation, A Life Less Ordinary, 28 Days Later, The Salton Sea, The 25th Hour, Kids In the Hall Present Braincandy, Silence of the Lambs, Trainspotting, Titus, Roger Dodger, Undertow, 40 Year Old Virgin, Broken Flowers, The whole Nightmare on Elm Street series, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and part 2, Wet Hot American Summer, Fight Club, Seven, Panic Room, Kill Bill 1 & 2, Pulp Fiction, Pump Up the Volume, Romy and Michelles High School Reunion, Resovior Dogs, From Dusk Til Dawn, Edward Scissorhands, Revenge of the Nerds, Bachelor Party, The Beach, About a Boy, Taxi Driver, Cape Fear ( Deniro version ), City of Industry, A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints, The Basketball Diaries, The Breakfast Club, Igby Goes Down, Gremlins 1 & 2, Spiderman 1 & 2, A Clockwork Orange, Nosferatu, The Cabinet of Doctor Caligary, Sexy Beast, The Crow, Boogie Nights, Punch Drunk Love, Thumbsucker, The Squid and the Whale, Shopgirl, Chumscrubber, Mysterious Skin, The Departed, Magnolia, Little Miss Sunshine, School of Rock, Sunshine, Rocket Science, The Lookout, Knocked Up, Superbad.... the list is pretty much endless, but I felt like shrinking it down....Special Mentions : Knock Off, Simon Sez, Sleep Away Camp Series, Slaughter High, Horror of the Zombie, Scarecrow Gone Wild, any Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson movies, American Ninja 1,2 & 4, Avenging Force, Man of the House ( Tommy Lee Jones version ) and if anyone can find Aquanoids... tell me.

Television:

SNL, Greg the Bunny, Action, Undeclared, Freaks and Geeks, Law & Order: SVU, The State, I Love New York, THE BLACK DONNELLEYS, The Kids in the Hall, TV Funhouse, Arrested Developement, Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Night Court, Alf, Robot Chicken, The Simpsons, The Critic, The Vacant Lot, Beavis and Butthead, Late Night With Conan O'Brian, G.I. Joe Reruns, House of Carters, Lost, starting to like Six Feet Under a lot, Intervention, Big Love, Celebra Cadabra, Breaking Bad.

Books:

Invisible Monsters, Fight Club, Choke, Lullaby, Diary, Survivor, Stranger than Fiction, Haunted... anything Chuck Pahlaniuk writes. Live From New York, The Basketball Diaries, Ordinary People, The Beach, The Phantom Tollbooth, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Heartbreaking Works of a Staggering Genius, Shopgirl, The Pleasure of My Company, Superstud, A Shy Guy's Guide To Dating, A Clockwork Orange, obviously Catcher.... anything about Samurai's.

Heroes:

Bruce Springsteen, Greg Dulli, Bill Murray, Bob Newhart, Steve Martin, Will Ferrell, Freddy Kruger, John Doe, Burt Reynolds, Alf, and Bull Shannon, I would like to take them to dinner as a group, or as individuals.

My Blog

Snow Angels

I was going to write a review for this movie, but then I thought better of my long windedness. I will say this. David Gordon Green is one of the best filmmakers of his generation, rent George Washingt...
Posted by Scroner on Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:27:00 PST

Best of 2007

Better late than never. While everyone put out his or her ten best lists the last week of December I have been taking a different approach, and coming to terms with certain things such as disappointme...
Posted by Scroner on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 05:39:00 PST

Widely Underrated

There are things that we as human beings may never come to terms with. This is perhaps the most misunderstood. In 100 Years from now film historians will dig this movie out and realize how funny it is...
Posted by Scroner on Fri, 14 Dec 2007 05:03:00 PST

How can this be the funniest thing ever?

.. width="425" height="350">..>The re-run of this episode on Saturday was hysterical, but why was I in tears when I was thinking about it last night?...
Posted by Scroner on Mon, 16 Oct 2006 11:31:00 PST

Brokeback Tolhurst and The Case of Suit Night

It is no secret to anyone that I came of age riding upon the ranges in Wyoming. The air was brisk and clear. So clean that it burns the lungs. The land stretched as far as the eye could see. Then cont...
Posted by Scroner on Thu, 14 Sep 2006 11:38:00 PST

Reflections

Gather around boys and girls and listen to that tale I will tell. It all starts this morning while I was driving to work. One thing that always bothered me was that I always wanted to be what could be...
Posted by Scroner on Sat, 15 Jul 2006 06:21:00 PST

In Memory: Elfie Bunny 2001-2006

Well a sad day is upon me, as my only pet Elfie the Bunny has passed away. How odd, is it that I posted a picture of her last night, only to get a call at work that she went into heart faliure. She di...
Posted by Scroner on Mon, 27 Mar 2006 12:21:00 PST

Monsieur Cash

Arrested Development got picked up by Showtime. Maybe now I will have to get cable. Nice few weeks, gone past.
Posted by Scroner on Thu, 02 Mar 2006 01:42:00 PST

Seals Don't Wear Yellow Bow Ties

This weekend has been soooooo borring. In an attempt to combat boredom I went to the movies every day. Match Point: I realize that I wasn't in the mood to see a late show on Friday of it, but the t...
Posted by Scroner on Sun, 08 Jan 2006 02:46:00 PST

Godammit Jack Palance

I can't find Contempt anywhere. That is pissing me off. I never thought I would wan't to see it again, but for some reason...
Posted by Scroner on Tue, 27 Dec 2005 09:40:00 PST