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spider

About Me

I WON'T ADD YOU IF YOU DON'T MESSAGE ME FIRST.

the man, the legend, the big kahuna, the head honcho, big daddy, the captain, big brother, the man upstairs, big wig, the chief, top brass, judge, jury, and executioner, high priest, the godfather, fearless leader, kingfish, the alpha and the omega, mister fantastic, the chairman, the big cheese, the big enchilada, top dog, A-number-1 with a bullet. who's the boss? tony danza. i climbed the highest mountain. i sailed the widest sea. i passed the Voight-Kampff test. i rolled a natural 20. i came back by popular demand. i can't believe i ate the whole thing. i got a gold star. i kept it real. i rose from the ashes. i knocked it out of the park. i rolled with the punches. i rested on the seventh day. i shot the sherrif, but i swear it was in self-defense. i raked it in. i brought it. i did it justice. i imagined my pain as a white ball of healing light, opened my heart chakra, and found my spirit animal. i am Ahab. i am the great and powerful Oz. i am Keyser-fucking-Soze. i am Bowser, and your princess is in another castle. i am the royal "we". i am Caesar. i'm Spartacus. i'm your brain on drugs. i am the lizard king. i am Muad'Dib, and i am wise in the ways of the desert. i am Darth Vader. i am a Role Model.


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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

hunter thompson. aleister crowley. charles manson. bruce lee. edgar allan poe. jumbo the elephant. hieronymus bosch. godzilla. rasputin. anton lavey. oscar wilde. trent reznor. the machine elves. jules verne. space aliens. mike mignola. elvira. billy corgan. satan. my evil twin.

Who I'd like to not meet:

hippies. indie-hipsters. underaged emo nerds. jesus freaks. people who believe humans are naturally herbivores. republicans. scientologists. hicks. natalie002334, who wants me to check out her webcam. losers trying bulk up their "friends list" like it's a contest.


My Blog

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