Johnny Utah - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a professional Superhero but the money's pretty freakin weak so I'm thinking about taking a shot at being a musician. I mean, right now I waste most of my nights roaming rooftops and dark alleys fighting the good fight. Most hero's just stop muggings or halt the diabolical plans of super villains, but I carved out a niche in the "stopping kidney sales on the black market" arena. Believe me, I've seen some pretty icy bathtubs in my day. But honestly my heart's just not in it anymore and I'm kind of slacking. Man, you just don't understand the necessity of punctuality until you're standing over some passed out chick in a bathtub for the 5th time in a week. I swear, one more time and I quit. But anyway I'm one of those singer/songwriter types but I can actually play lead, so I got lucky there. Currently I'm working on the whole rock n' roll thing with my band The Takedown . I've been doing music for some time now. In college I was the guy playing acoustic guitar in the fraternity house, but I'm not going to play any Dave Matthews so quit asking. Well, I've rambled for too long and I don't know how to end it... but just remember: If someone tries to drug you and take you to a seedy motel you're on your own, cause I'm out of the game. Peace.
Greatest movie ever
Best show ever (besides The Simpsons)
Great performance of a great song.

My Interests

Rocking out

I'd like to meet:

Lao Tzu & Raoul Duke

Check out my expository abilities on The Phat Phree

CREATE YOUR OWN LUNCHBOX! - or - GET PAID TO EAT WAFFLES!

Music:

The Clash, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Kings of Leon, Toots and The Maytals, Pink Floyd, Sam Cooke, The Rolling Stones, Operation Ivy, CCR, Radiohead, Elvis Costello, The Velvet Underground, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Phish, Van Morrison, & The Who + many more

Anything from Rock to Motown to Punk to Jazz.

Movies:

Anything by Wes Anderson, The Coen Brothers, Hitchcock, Terry Gilliam, but more specifically:

Shawshank, Pulp Fiction, The Warriors, The Royal Tennenbaums, The Big Lebowski, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, American Beauty, Apocalypse Now, Jaws, & Clerks are a few of my favorites

Television:

Simpsons, The Wire, My Name is Earl, The Office, The Daily Show, NFL, MLB

Books:

Heart of Darkness, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72, The Inferno, any of Hawthorne's short stories, The Tao te Ching, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, I mainly enjoy reading literature and social commentary or satire

Heroes:

My Folks- you should always admire the people who made you who you are;

Bob Dylan- uncanny lyrical and musical ability that every songwriter should aspire to;

Brett Favre- competitive, tough, and almost always having fun at his job;

Hunter S. Thompson- wit and wisdom go a long way in a world run by swine, honesty through fiction is the only way to survive until the statute of limitations runs out.

My Blog

Orange Juice & Other Delights

I can't focus on anything in particular today so I thought I'd throw out some random thoughts. I noticed this morning that my orange juice only advertises that it has Vitamin D and Calcium. At first...
Posted by Johnny Utah on Wed, 27 Feb 2008 06:25:00 PST

After my teeth removal

I recently had my wisdom teeth pulled. After the surgery I was very out of it and couldn't talk. In order to communicate with the nurse I wrote this note:Please accept my apologies for my slowness i...
Posted by Johnny Utah on Tue, 19 Feb 2008 05:50:00 PST

Arent We Tired of Tragedy Yet?

Since the horrific assault on my fair hometown's city council many soapboxes have been sullied with the bloody footprints of the right, left, black & white. Speculations and justifications for thi...
Posted by Johnny Utah on Mon, 18 Feb 2008 02:12:00 PST

Super Bowl Pre Game

Last year I posted this test about The Super Bowl and since no answer has been varied by last years outcome I thought I'd do it again. Print it off, show it to your friends, these answers are to...
Posted by Johnny Utah on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 04:51:00 PST

Billy Southworth is not Whitey Herzog, he’s better

Last week the MLB Veteran's Committee voted former Cardinals manager Billy Southworth into the Hall of Fame. Sadly, for most modern Cardinals fans knowledge of the glory years of Musial, Slaughter, an...
Posted by Johnny Utah on Wed, 12 Dec 2007 12:45:00 PST

Who is the average TV viewer

At this juncture in the writer's strike I think every red-blooded, meat-eating, car selling American is coming to terms with the fact that their favorite shows will have a limited run this season.&nbs...
Posted by Johnny Utah on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 12:40:00 PST

Back with a vengence

After months and months of nothing. Well; work, album recording, marriage, home buying, but nothing creative is what I'm sayin'. I'm back with a new Phat Phree article, probably my worst ever bu...
Posted by Johnny Utah on Tue, 04 Dec 2007 03:28:00 PST

Check Out This New Phat Phree Article

I can't take total credit for this one because Mr. DeMarco added the lawyer-speak and reformatted it a bit. Anyway it still has my jokes it's just a little bit longer now. Click here to check it...
Posted by Johnny Utah on Tue, 29 May 2007 11:31:00 PST

A Modest Cardinals Proposal

I wasn't going to post this, but then the Hancock family turned a tragedy into a chance to exploit our wonderfully litigious legal system, so fuck 'em... I've got another article coming. This is...
Posted by Johnny Utah on Fri, 25 May 2007 08:30:00 PST

The Tragic Politcs of Hate & The Media Which Support It

"But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears,Take the rag away from your face.Now ain't the time for your tears." - Bob Dylan, The ...
Posted by Johnny Utah on Wed, 25 Apr 2007 07:56:00 PST