I enjoy running, sewing and backpacking, but my true passion is dick and fart jokes.
I am awkward and people don't like me at first. Oh, and I am kind of hostile.
I have gnarly toes due to marathoning.
I like to be called Volt van der Huge during intimate moments.
I smell like ball sweat, pepperoni and despair.
I am treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality.
I am obsessed with Harry Potter, prunes and Dan the Automator.
I like to sleep late and party like Laverne and Shirley.
I write minesweeper fan fiction.
