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Vern

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

Hell! Vern waz born in Hueytown Alabama April 4 1966. Ben in Alabama all Vern's life. Vern lives in Bessemer now. Vern gots married to Vern's high school squeeze Violet Jean in 1985. Ben a slave to her ever since. Vern an Vi have had 4 kids since then. Cindi is 16, she's the oldest. She dont look like her momma. She's skiny. Bobby Joe is 14. Sometimes Vern thinks the boy's slow. The boy don't do much. Vernon Jr. is 6. He likes Moon pies alot. He's funny as shit. He ate a whole fried chicken the other day. He ate everything but bone. Vern told him y'ain't suposed to eat the knuckles boy. Emma she's the baby. She's 3. She's chubby to. Violet ain't to good at cookin. All her Momma tot her to make waz fried chicken. She's learnd to fry other food to.Vern likes cars alot. Vern's gots a 1971 Camaro SS. She's real fast. Corvette 427 engine. Positraction rear end. Holly 750 double pumper carb. Edelbrock intakes. 5 speed. Built rear end. 450 horsepower. Puts all the ladies in Bessemer panties in a bunch. Vern's also gots a 1976 Firebird Trans Am 6.6 Liter. It's a piece o shit, but it's good on the dirt track. Vern's lookin to buy a 1969 Charger R/T wit a Hemi. Gotta git a new job to do that. It's gonna be Vern's first Mopar. Camaros always ben in Vern's blood. The wife drives the shit car. 1978 Mustang 2. Her Dart dont run no more.
Candy Cigarettes
You're a total badass, but you don't taste very good. What Kind of Candy Are You?Vern also likes fishin, huntin an drinkin. Vern likes Miller High Life. Vern likes there comercials. Vern's a High Life man. Vern's gots 2 dogs, Rufus, he's the puppy an Buell, he's the daddy. Buell's good fer huntin. but, he has to stay outside cause he farts alot. Maybe Vern should put Violet outside cause she farts alot to.Ye sees, there's alot to bein Vern. Vern likes to kick ass an take names. Vern dont take no lip from the kids lessin they want to taste the back o Vern's hand. Vern's a nice guy to. Just dont git on Vern's bad side or Vern'll hit you so hard ye won't know shit from shinola.Vern finaly got tired of bein called dumb an gots high school educated. Vern gots his GED in 2004. Made Vern feel like a new man. Maybe Vern should go to colege. Not sure wat they'd think o Vern in Colege. Maybe Cindi will go back to Highschool now that Vern has his GED. She says she doesn't want to be called a slut at school. Vern says fuck'em. Sluts is good folk to.
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My Interests

Camaros, Trans Ams, fishin, trotlinin, huntin, drinkin, kickin ass, partyin, bein lazy, county races at the dirt track, Nascar, watchin rasslin, shootin guns out back, sittin on the porch at night playin banjo an gitar drinkin beer, eatin beans outta my old ladies crack, sex wit the old lady...it ain't the best, but it works. Vern's favorite places to eat is Let's Eat Smoked Meat an Speedy Gonzalez Mexican Restarant in Hueytown.

I'd like to meet:

Vern's lookin fer partyin buds, drinkin buds, dudes who like cars an huneys fer on the side. Foghat, Skynyrd, Hank jr. an Michael Jackson, so Vern could stomp a mudhole in his bleached out, pervert ass an walk it dry.

Music:


Vern likes both kinds o music, Country an Western! None o that panzy new country. Vern likes George Jones, Conway Twitty, Hank Williams Sr. an Jr., Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Alabama, Jerry Reed, The Oak Ridge Boys, Mel Tillis, Box Car Willie. Vern's a rocker too, Vern likes Vern sum Molly Hatchet, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Mountain, Lynyrd Skynyrd an Foghat.

Movies:

Hooper, Smokey an the Bandit 1 an 2, Gator, Water Boy(Adam Sandler ain't christian but he's funny as shit), Over the Top, Convoy(still like that song), Take this job and shove it, Deliverance, anything wit Chuck Norris, Seagal an Vandamn, there's a few more.

Television:

We don't git much on the antena. Vern likes Dukes o Hazard, The Fall Guy an Hee Haw. We's gittin cable soon down our road.

Books:

Vern don't have much use fer books. Vern's red only 1 book The History of Camaros. Red magazines an newspapers. Vern likes Vern sum Hustler, Penthouse, Field an Stream, Soldier of Fortune, car magazines wit pictures.

Heroes:

Nathan Bedford Forest. Bear Bryant. Vern's Gran Pappy fer teachin Vern bout the corn wine. Vern's number 1 Hero is Hueytown born NASCAR legend Bobby Allison.

My Blog

Hot Sticky Haiku just in time for Summer.

Hot Sticky Haiku Just in Time for Summer     Chafed! Hot an' sticky out. Heavy sweat's gots Vern's ballsack Chafed like a sumbitch!   Trailer Park Whore Daisy Duke wearin, Big tube ...
Posted by Vern on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 07:45:00 PST

As a yung necked boy, Foley was massaged by a priest, but no sodomy occurred! Yeah rite!

Priest Denies Having Sex With Foley Rep. Mark Foley, R-Fla. speaks at a news conference ...       ROME - An elderly priest acknowledged Thursday that he was naked in saunas with Mark ...
Posted by Vern on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 04:32:00 PST

Americans gitin fucked agin! Dig deep in yer pockets, they's git another $70Billion!

Senate Approves $70B for War Spending   WASHINGTON - The Senate unanimously approved $70 billion more for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan Friday as part of a record Pentagon budget. T...
Posted by Vern on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 03:35:00 PST

Scarlet Letters! Brand that Sumbitch! Fuck'em To! Rite before ye kill'em!

Inmate Has Victim's Name Tattooed on Him   EVANSVILLE, Ind. - An inmate serving a life sentence for molesting and murdering a 10-year-old girl named Katie was apparently forcibly tattooed across ...
Posted by Vern on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 07:20:00 PST

Gas gittin cheap, so'in we's can use more!

Analyst predicts plunge in gas prices By Kevin G. Hall McClatchy Newspapers WASHINGTON  The recent sharp drop in the global price of crude oil could mark the start of a massive sell-off that returns ...
Posted by Vern on Thu, 14 Sep 2006 03:56:00 PST

A day in the Life o a dirtbag (part 2)

A day in the life o a dirtbag (part 2)       Decoratin the trailer They's jus like life-like them perty plastic flowers in pots on the porch.     Mornin Wood   Lean forwa...
Posted by Vern on Sat, 09 Sep 2006 07:26:00 PST

Git sum insite to who Vern really is. Vern's a MAN!

1. What does your MySpace Name mean?Vern (Vurn) n. 1. Manliest of men. 2. Stud with mullet. 3. Lady killer and ass kicker extraordinaire.2. Elaborate on your default photo:Last summer at Talladega gtt...
Posted by Vern on Mon, 04 Sep 2006 08:50:00 PST

"Bong Hits fer Jesus!"

Bong Hits 4 Jesus case to U.S. Supreme Court? Former Clinton prosecutor Ken Starr asks court to hear free-speech case     JUNEAU, Alaska - Former Whitewater special counsel Kenneth Starr p...
Posted by Vern on Sat, 02 Sep 2006 08:17:00 PST

Problems at the Homestead!

Vern's told y'all bout the hassles o the move Vern jus endured. God damn trailer gittin stuck in the mud, sittin crooked an Vern's internet problems! When Vern came home from sligin Bessemer's trash a...
Posted by Vern on Sat, 19 Aug 2006 06:23:00 PST

Trailer Livin

Trailer Livin     Livin in squaller Walls 3 inches thick. Rustin all to Hell an back! Smells kinda like feet!     New Septic Field New land to live on. Completely new septic field ...
Posted by Vern on Thu, 10 Aug 2006 06:52:00 PST