Hell! Vern waz born in Hueytown Alabama April 4 1966. Ben in Alabama all Vern's life. Vern lives in Bessemer now. Vern gots married to Vern's high school squeeze Violet Jean in 1985. Ben a slave to her ever since. Vern an Vi have had 4 kids since then. Cindi is 16, she's the oldest. She dont look like her momma. She's skiny. Bobby Joe is 14. Sometimes Vern thinks the boy's slow. The boy don't do much. Vernon Jr. is 6. He likes Moon pies alot. He's funny as shit. He ate a whole fried chicken the other day. He ate everything but bone. Vern told him y'ain't suposed to eat the knuckles boy. Emma she's the baby. She's 3. She's chubby to. Violet ain't to good at cookin. All her Momma tot her to make waz fried chicken. She's learnd to fry other food to.Vern likes cars alot. Vern's gots a 1971 Camaro SS. She's real fast. Corvette 427 engine. Positraction rear end. Holly 750 double pumper carb. Edelbrock intakes. 5 speed. Built rear end. 450 horsepower. Puts all the ladies in Bessemer panties in a bunch. Vern's also gots a 1976 Firebird Trans Am 6.6 Liter. It's a piece o shit, but it's good on the dirt track. Vern's lookin to buy a 1969 Charger R/T wit a Hemi. Gotta git a new job to do that. It's gonna be Vern's first Mopar. Camaros always ben in Vern's blood. The wife drives the shit car. 1978 Mustang 2. Her Dart dont run no more.
Candy Cigarettes
You're a total badass, but you don't taste very good.
What Kind of Candy Are You?Vern also likes fishin, huntin an drinkin. Vern likes Miller High Life. Vern likes there comercials. Vern's a High Life man. Vern's gots 2 dogs, Rufus, he's the puppy an Buell, he's the daddy. Buell's good fer huntin. but, he has to stay outside cause he farts alot. Maybe Vern should put Violet outside cause she farts alot to.Ye sees, there's alot to bein Vern. Vern likes to kick ass an take names. Vern dont take no lip from the kids lessin they want to taste the back o Vern's hand. Vern's a nice guy to. Just dont git on Vern's bad side or Vern'll hit you so hard ye won't know shit from shinola.Vern finaly got tired of bein called dumb an gots high school educated. Vern gots his GED in 2004. Made Vern feel like a new man. Maybe Vern should go to colege. Not sure wat they'd think o Vern in Colege. Maybe Cindi will go back to Highschool now that Vern has his GED. She says she doesn't want to be called a slut at school. Vern says fuck'em. Sluts is good folk to.
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