Boobs Maghee [R.I.P. Daddy]

1. Like, seriously, if you send me messages that consist of “hey im new to the area, wanna chat?” or “hey boobs lol you fine as fuck gurl” I wont EVER respond to you. Go ahead and keep sending more. I still wont reply. Damn.
2. This is Myspace folks. Just because you aren’t in my top 16 or w/e I have set up doesn’t mean I hate you or I don’t want to be your friend.
3. Do not send me naked pictures of yourself. Seeing your hard purple monster isn’t going to turn me on, especially if you are like 42 years old and send me a pic of your hard on. That shit, ugh, its so gross.
4. And don’t ask me for nudes, either. Unless you play WoW and are willing to run me though instances or send me blooz, then don’t ever expect to see my boobies. Hahaha PWNED.
5. Asking me to perform sexual favors will NEVER get a reply from me. That is, unless, we’ve already done stuff and it was good enough for seconds… or thirds… or fifteenths…
6. Just because I say you’re cute doesn’t mean I want to fuck you.
7. Telling me I’m cute doesn’t mean I’m going to fuck you.
8. If I don’t respond to a message, it doesn’t mean I hate you. I get a lot of messages and it gets a little hard to respond to them all.
9. I highly detest the “Myspace Glitter Graphics” or w/e they are called. They are an STD waiting to happen. Just type “hi” instead of posting a poorly animated graphic and I will love you forever.
10. I do, however, love little random pics from throughout daily life! Send me random ass pictures of mangos or fish and omg, I would love you to death! /promote to Top 8. hahah jay kay!!
11. If you do not have a profile picture, i will not accept you via FR (friend request).
12. If your profile picture is like, a picture of you in 2nd grade or some random picture (like a cat or a shovel), i will not accept you via FR.
13. If you only have one picture uploaded, chances are i wont accept you, because, youre prolly a spammer or a fake or just rly rly ugly.
14. Sending me messages that say "how are you" OMFG i wont respond so stop fucking sending them! kthx
When you are bored and have nothing else to do, you make a list of 200 things that a countless number of Myspace whores will read and leave you comments about.
1. My full name is Lauren ????????? ... sorry, i had to remove my last name due to privacy issues...
2. I was born in California, but grew up in Florida
3. I spell awfully, and the only reason I have proper grammar and such is because this was typed on Word
4. I hate bad breath. Ew.
5. If you breathe too loud, I cannot be your friend
6. I don’t have many friends, seeing how girls piss me off with their whining about boys and how fat they are, and dudes piss me off with their constant stupidity and having their penises control their minds
7. I love wearing jackets. I will wear a jacket even if it is like, 90 degrees outside. I am wearing a jacket right now
8. I love pain. Physical pain, like being cut or scratched
9. I love animals. One time, I accidentally stepped on a toad and killed it, and I cried and cried.
10. Speaking of, frogs and toads are my fave animals :]
11. Cleaning my fingernails is one of my favorite past times
12. I have really dry skin on my armpits and behind my kneecaps
13. I can swallow half of a hard-boiled egg, with out chewing.
14. My first job was making balloon animals.
15. I like it rough. ha ;]
16. I can hold a 2 hour convo about anything
17. I have a phobia of public bathrooms and avoid them at all costs
18. If you post like 7,ooo bulletins back to back of random, meaningless shit, I will delete you. Period.
19. I really like saying and spelling the word "Spaghetti".
20. My mom's voice makes me angry
21. I really don’t prefer one flavor of gum over another.
22. I have a commitment phobia
23. I am one of the biggest procrastinators that you will ever meet, but I will get the job done
24. I don’t like chocolate so if you plan on wooing me, giving me a box full of high saturated fats isn’t in your best interest.
25. For some reason, i seem to attract the WEIRDEST ppl. and i must say, i love it =].
26. I don’t do chick flicks
27. I am the only person alive to not have cried during The Notebook
28. I have never been clubbing!
29. I could spend all day watching cartoons.
30. Chest hair is a HUGE turn off
31. I am VERY messy
32. I cant clean my room, or make my bed, or do the laundry, or make some food; Im useless!
33. I only shit on Sundays; its a very holy day.
34. I have only 7 tattoos at the time being and yessum, I am planning on getting more.
35. If you have never had a horse as your pet, then you will never understand the relationship you would build with it
36. I can’t speak Spanish very well, nor can I speak English that great, either
37. I am slowly turning into my best friend Jeff (minus the penis)
38. I love change.
39. I have NO self-esteem
40. I am attracted to males with big noses hehee!
41. I’ll never forget what you tell me.
42. I’ll never forget what you owe me
43. I work to get away from reality
44. I am afraid of men. Like, its hard to explain if you've never been in a situation where a guy (or multiple guys in my case) has/have hurt you.
45. I love the beach, and everything associated with it.
46. AND no, I don’t look good in a bathing suit
47. I enjoy partying.
48. I don’t do drugs so don’t offer me any. Bitches.
49. I love roller coasters
50. I will do almost anything for money (not like prostitution, you perves!)
51. I believe that burning your tongue is possibly the worst pain you can experience
52. I eat ground up coffee for energy (as if I really need more, right?)
53. I like pugs.
54. I am very allergic to V8.
55. Just recently, I had a guy for the 1st time take me on a date and pay!!
56. I ONLY look good on Myspace
57. I am ashamed of my belly button
58. I am not a good driver
59. I think pussies look like monsters, thus I could never be gay
60. I only write with pens or mechanical pencils
61. The 1st concert I went to was the Spice Girls
62. I have a small red mole on my chest, between my boobs
63. Speaking of boobs, I am a 34 DD and quite proud of it
64. I love sweet tea!!
65. Honey Dew Melon scented things smell like pickles and that’s just sick
66. I HATE mushrooms. Icky fungi
67. Eye boogers or sleepers or whatever you want to call them make me want to hurl.
68. My stuffed animal Fish has been to more states, countries, and continents than you have
69. I do not like who I am
70. I will be a millionaire by 30
71. Disney movies make me cry
72. I have totaled my BMW twice in the past 7 months
73. I am a Harry Potter fanatic.
74. I am partially allergic to bleach
75. I like to roll my ice cream in frosted flakes or oatmeal. That shit is good
76. Oh and yes, I am fat
77. My toenails fall off often. Too often
78. I love land snakes, but sea snakes scare me to death
79. I have an extra vertebra in my neck. Holler
80. You can tell if I am sleepy by the way I walk; my legs do not work properly when I am tired
81. I have 8 piercings, despite my parent’s disapproval
82. I have a guitar that I never play. Poor Fender
83. I am always cold due to my lack of iron.
84. I am ticklish everywhere! EVERYWHERE!
85. I am really lazy.
86. I puked on a friend’s sofa and ruined it. Oops.
87. I rarely drink soda
88. I think that hard nipples are unattractive
89. I am a model
90. I get Charlie horses every other night, if not more.
91. I haven’t eaten Chef Boy R D in about 11 years
92. I prefer Aquafena to Dasani or Zephyrhills bottled water
93. R. L. Stine is probably second best to J. K. Rowling
94. I never got to baptize Redwings :[
95. I currently drive a burgundy Pathfinder. Fun shit!
96. The sight of ants makes me itch
97. The feel of cotton balls is more than disturbing
98. I like the smell of old books
99. I collect 2-dollar bills
100. I brush my nails more often then I brush my hair.
101. I still sleep with my baby blanket.
102. Bright lights make me sneeze
103. I cut my own hair
104. My favorite color is blue, but does it really matter?
105. I am easily distracted.
106. I hope to one day (when I am a millionaire) open an animal sanctuary and take in abandoned, unwanted animals but—unlike the god awful pound—I wont kill any of them ^..^
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