Xenu profile picture

Xenu

BOW DOWN BEFORE ME OR I WILL VALCANO YOU!

About Me

Well, hey folks. Its me, the Space God Xenu. Im sure you all heard plenty about me via my good friend Tom Cruise.Did you know his real name is Thomas Cruise Mapother IV.I was the one who told him to drop the last name and go with Cruise.I also told him to stick with Nicole Kidman, he didnt listen.So, yeah, I do the whole Scientology thing.I dont like my photo taken, im shy.I prefere Kittens instead of Puppies. They are just a bit cuter. Still love puppies though.I killed an entire species of aliens called Thatans using Earth's valcanos. Now their spirits are pissed off and attatch themself to your body.I love to play DDR.I like to think of myself as a mixture between Joey and Ross. But I wish I was more of a Chandler!I will devour your soul.I dont like onions on my pizza.Geez, i know im leaving some stuff out...Oh right...Battlefield Earth was NOT my idea.

My Interests

Mustaches. Conquering the Universe. Volcanos. Self Help Books. Meteorology. Oh, I enjoy gardening as well. Enslaving humanity, obviously. Taking advantage of the unfortunate with a massive religion based on lies. Knitting.

I'd like to meet:

Ron L Hubbert. He created my whole religion and he barely returns my calls! Where were you last week at Brunswick huh Ron? I was there at 8pm like you said! I even rented shoes!Katie Holmes! Tom, c'mon! Ive heard so much about her, but I dont get to meet her? Shes such a doll though, im sure!Meeting Justin Timberlake would just be fabulous! J Timbo, we have a big spot open for you and you're little N'Sync friends here in Scientology! It will only cost you millions of dollars, and then you're dignity to join! (See Tom Cruise)You know who else would be great to meet? Mike Ditka! That mustache just makes Xenu's day!However, Xenu does NOT want to meet Tom Sellick or Burt Renelds.

Music:

OMG I cant get enough of The Killers! I just cant! Brandon Flowers you are welcome in Scientology every day. I wont even make you pay. Just bring your voice and that incredibly fantastic name, and we will be set!

Movies:

I love The Notebook. How to Loose a Guy in 10 days. Schindler's List. Batman Begins. You've Got Mail. Braveheart. Batman Returns. American History X. Serenity.I really, really dont like Battlefield Earth. People assume I do because of Ron and Johnny! John, I love you babe, but the movie blew!

Television:

Ugh, Xenu has boycotted TV until they bring back the Weakest Link! I can't tell you how many laughs I got quoting that at parties! Remember that one time, Tom? Travolta loved it!

Books:

Death Quest (Mission Earth Series) , Villainy Victorious (Mission Earth Series) , infact the whole Mission Earth Series. Ron Hubbard is a genius! Anything from RL Stien. The Divinci Code. He's Just Not That Into You.

Heroes:

Hogan's. LOL! OMG! ROFL!

My Blog

link test thing

http://free-game-downloads.mosw.com/
Posted by Xenu on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 12:08:00 PST

deep thoughts

When Xenu looks in the mirror, what does Xenu see? A shell of his former self? A space dictator who is letting the world pass him by? An exhausted soul, corrupted by time and disheartened by its em...
Posted by Xenu on Mon, 01 May 2006 09:47:00 PST

my secret crush!

Isabella is cleaning today. Shes so loud and Im trying to write this valentines day card to my secret crush. Who is it? Ill give you a hint... Its you! Oh man, Xenu is so sweet. Except to the speci...
Posted by Xenu on Fri, 10 Feb 2006 09:25:00 PST

Xenu>Chuck Norris

I am sick of all this Chuck Norris love. Scientology is way better then Chuck-Fu or whatever they are calling it now a days. Leading Scientologists just sent me a list of awesome facts about me. They ...
Posted by Xenu on Fri, 03 Feb 2006 08:49:00 PST

Haikus from Space

xenu is a god tom cruise is a mindless slave scientology
Posted by Xenu on Mon, 30 Jan 2006 11:37:00 PST

They call me a rockstar...

So, what can't a space dictator do? Some people say, dictate space, but thats so obviously wrong. Someone said I couldn't act. But then I pretended I was sad, and when they came close they asked if ...
Posted by Xenu on Mon, 30 Jan 2006 09:03:00 PST

"This is no place to try and live my life."

Its the small things, ya know? They are what bother Xenu the most. Cause its when the small things change, that its not just things changing anymore, its people. Remember our weekly trips to Starbuck...
Posted by Xenu on Thu, 19 Jan 2006 01:56:00 PST

Fucking poparazzi!

Nobody gets me. Its hard, ya know? Being an intergalatic Space Dictator with millions of followers. If you think Brad and Angelina have it bad, you need to get a dose of Space Paparazzi! Those fucke...
Posted by Xenu on Sat, 14 Jan 2006 05:43:00 PST