Horace - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Finished #11,489th in the national fearsome beast competition per www.fearsomestbeastinamerica.com. Likes giant popping sounds. Once met a 50 year old virgin and had tea with him. Women often heard asking 'what are you doing back there?' Doesn't consider wiffleball a sport. Considers butter eating a sport. Has tons of fetishes, but despises most of them, and intolerant of all of them. Considers smelling fingers rude. Will pee on something to see if it is organic. Breathes daily. How bouts just about everything. Only answers the phone when it is working. Owns three pairs of shoes and all of them are unseemly. Has never once mispronounced 'mischievous'. Considers the word 'supple' a filthy word. Spends hours virtual minesweeping. Gestates. Danced once while shame spiralling. Doesn't own a black shirt. Smears pap more than usual. Enjoys yogurt by the pint. Strangled a man to death with his bare hands in his mind.

My Interests

this is something i'm working on. i'm thinking of taking up sex as a hobby. it's surprisingly popular. at least as popular as fishing.

I'd like to meet:

How about who I'd not like to meet? janeane garofalo, a government person, weathermen, evil women, self-important men, demanders, car salesmen, most folk. MyGen Profile Generator

Music:

Movies:

Television:

Books:

Heroes:

My Blog

the deadly grip

about two weeks ago, i remembered waiting in a long line for a specific purpose. that purpose was named the McRib. or maybe that purpose was named Sweet Addiction. What is this grip ...
Posted by Horace on Mon, 19 Nov 2007 08:06:00 PST

the thing about asian camwhores

why's it always about the money? and why the ridiculous lies? urinary tract infection one day. rent the next. then dad dies and needs a proper burial. it's always somethi...
Posted by Horace on Mon, 12 Nov 2007 06:46:00 PST

kids make the taco town taco from SNL!

hilarious and delicious. taco town...
Posted by Horace on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 11:04:00 PST

plight of the homeless

"sign up to get anne coulters latest articles by email" i've been seeing a lot of the local downtown homeless folk lately. i guess it's the nice weather. they're unusually well dressed.&n...
Posted by Horace on Wed, 26 Sep 2007 06:20:00 PST

Filth!

what the hell was tipper gore's problemo? we were young. we wanted to live. we needed an anthem! we wanted to freak like dogs without warning. the man just didn't unders...
Posted by Horace on Wed, 19 Sep 2007 09:00:00 PST

life with big brother

At 4:20am, Dick is up and so is Daniele. They are in the kitchen where Dick gets a drink from the refrigerator and is assaulted by an overwhelmingly foul smell. He announces that it's from his tuna sa...
Posted by Horace on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 08:38:00 PST

Cautionary Tales of Swords.

Q: what are things i wished i would have written? A: pt. 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5w_bXElqxVo pt. 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZvc_-39I3s pt. 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0X40l_Vs...
Posted by Horace on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 09:01:00 PST

i know too much about pop culture

but i thought this was brilliant. kudos for boom goes the dynamite. internet people cartoon ...
Posted by Horace on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 03:18:00 PST

the things i pay for

it's like expendable money really. i should try to invest instead.
Posted by Horace on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 08:34:00 PST

Clones--the new accesory!

I want to follow in Hollywood's footsteps and get me a little one. ...
Posted by Horace on Tue, 14 Aug 2007 09:12:00 PST