Disco Mbobu and Me by rb
“Yo†says Disco Mbobu nonchalantly.
The depth of his voice gives such weight of feeling to everything he says that I’m both moved by and terrified of him nearly all of the time.
“Yo†I say. Pathetically.
I sound ridiculous. I sound like a nerdy white man trying to greet the biggest, coolest black man ever to live, which is precisely what I am and precisely what he is.
I am in awe of the man.
In awe of his fulsome afro.
In awe of his towering height.
I’m in awe of his rhythmic swagger; his implausible flares; his magnificent bejeweled roller-skates. His just-rightly-too-tight-tee and the warm-looking paunch that it accentuates.
More than anything, I am in awe of his prowess on the lawn-bowls green.
My name's Liam and I'm a graphic designer currently in my final year at UWN. I'm in a band called Star of 59. Also, I do some solo acoustic shows.
I work in Somerfield, which is great.
These are some of my friendy-wends:
Tasha
Wicked girlfriend. Likes to take photographs (not in a dodgy way) and speaks welsh. Diawn! Also, has been to nearly all of my gigs. The main ones she's missed has been because she's off globetrotting.
Matt
Been my best mate for 10 years now, since we were in school. From playing on the playstation when we were 14, to now playing awesome guitar and writing awesome lyrics for Star of 59. Make sure you keep an eye out for his sideproject: Cock Pilot Sheridan.
Rhys
Wicked ginger/nutter/bass player for Star of 59. Fastest bass player you will EVER see. Also top class DJing skills on this lad. Although watch out because he's from Newport. "Mate, have you ever heard of Corpa Road?.."
Owen
The man with the sticks behind the 59. He's swanking around west Wales at the mo studying business. "For fuck sake boys." Has an affinity to tank-tops. And when I say tank tops, I mean the Arnie/wife beater ones. Class.
Charlie
One of my fattest.. whoops, sorry, I mean.. best friends (her waistline is comparable to that of the Staypuft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters). Despite this, she's a top girl and has an incredibly good/stupid sense of humour. Also, likes to think she is the Queen of Trivial Pursuit but I would just like to say... WHATEVER! I was just giving you a chance.
Keri
My awesome older brother, bass player in Mr Blackaby's Thursday Morning Assembly, scriptwriter, director, producer, Man City Fan. Enough Said.
Gr3g
Top bloke. We've been mates for about 10 years and it's been awesome. He's partial to the odd impression of a bus driver. And he's a wicked guitarist too. Look out for Vader in Stereo - His lovely solo project.
Cally
A lovely girl who likes to frequent the bars of Plymouth on a night. Has a little bit of an obsession with Alan Partridge though. But then, there's nothing wrong with that...
Stoo
Mr Stuart from Brabazon. Known him for about 2 years now, since his old band played with ours in Portskewett. Since then, he started working in Somerfield and it's been a right good laugh. One of the most hilarious people I've had the fortune to know. Also, watch out for his wicked Dimebag-style solos in Brabazon.
Jenn
The female Peter Doherty. Although not sure if she has quite the song writing abilities that Mr D. posesses. Nevertheless, classy girl. Best moment so far: Having to leave at about 10pm from her 21st birthday 'cause she was too drunk.
Scott
Little Macca is a top instrumentalist, and also a mentalist. He plays fiddle, mandolin and banjo in Mr Blackaby's Thursday Morning Assembly. Also, he plays in One String Loose, and Irish band that I can't remember the name of, and Bob Trevors Bus. You are a knob.
Macca
Confusing as this may seem, this lad is also called Macca! Crazy times.
Like his younger brother, horrendously funny chap. Plays guitar and sings in the mighty BTB! Shexin!
Andrew
Graphic Designer and one half of Malsux Designs. Likes to ride around on his scooter and generally be a mod. Also, likes to do impressions of our lecturers. Up the Argus!
Kate
Another ex-Argus-ee (as you can see, it's a melting pot of talent). Kate does absolutely mental things such as abseiling off bridges, dressing up as a fairy in Newport. The latter obviously being a hundred times more dangerous.
Fiona
Fiona but she worked in Somerfield so she must be cool! Goes by many names such as: Fiano, Fi-Fi, Fioni, Fiano, Lampost, and my new favourite - Fynamite. Superfan too, comes to loads of gigs, cheers Fynamite!
Remy
This lovely lass likes to sing her little heart out. "Oh Freddy Darling" is one of many hits under her belt. Watch out for the awesome duo-ness of Remy and Liam. She works on a radio station too and likes to phone people up and ask them to be on the show because they're desperate and can't get anyone else. Cheers luv. Also likes to eat weird things such as Onion Marmalade.
Nikolai
New found drinking, drumming, cage fighting, Slipknot-outfit-wearing buddy. Plays the mighty congos in Humming Nun and drums in Genshi 66, check them out! Works in my rival supermarket too. He's a Tesco boy and I'm a Somerfield boy. There's gonna be a rumble in the jungle!
Patch
First time I met Patch he was dressed as Slipknot with Nick at Charlie's Rock Star Fancy Dress Party! Contrary to my first impressions, he does not, in fact, have long purple hair. Must have been one of the only realistic wigs I've ever seen. Oh yeah, he runs his own business too. So if you're passing, pop in and he may make you a cup of coffee. "I'm sorry, your voice was so boring..."
Craig
What a class bloke. Likes to play "Where's Wolverine" with yours truly, whilst working in Somerfield. And I'd also like to say at this junture, "When Eric eats a banana, he becomes a big big twat." And we all know who that is about.
Rhyso
They call him Scarface. Well, they don't. As far I know. But they should. That would be fecking ace. Been in more rumbles, tustles and fights than anyone I've ever met, but still, a most lovely chap all the same. Also in a band called Gensui, look out for the mad gits! George Clooney loves my Mum!
Joe Estevez
Legend of Estevez. The madman plays the guitar upside-down. Likes to slap his double bass too for a bit of rockabilly mayhem. Yee-haa. One half of Jip 'n' Rag DJers...
Lord Ecto
Tom Lord - other half of Jip 'n' Rag, Player, Lead guitarist of Ectospazz. Top bloke who lets me borrow his mixer for recording purposes. Also likes to wear cowboys hats quite a lot.
Joe
Joe Hobbs is just generally cool. Works down at Fairfield in Cheppas. Been mates for bloody years now and he just cracks me up. One half of the pool team legends: Bill and Murray.
Jimbob
Class bassist of Ectospazz. Likes to have mad haircuts and wear skirts with no tops and have his face painted. Maddest bloke I've ever met. Really nice bloke too. He was at my first ever gig in a pub. Back in 2001 when I was 16 and playing in Epicentre. We played at Rogiet Non-Political Club and he was at the front, moshing to God Save the Queen!
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