About Me
you think you know me; but you will never know me. you don't know yourself.cya @
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ON TO NEW BEGINNINGS:
The tears that we hold back Just to show that we're unbreakable The pain we that we need to store away The memorable nights and those we can barely remember The memories that seem to fade away The pain that in time begins to leave a scar The laughter an the joy that we hold dear Trying to recapture the happiness Everytime we take a step foward someone tries to pull us a step back Hoping that growing will make it easier Yet knowing that it will only get harder These are the things that make us stronger In time we can endure everything What the future awaits is a mystery Just make sure that our strength is enough to guide us It's our Journey It's called Life!
I am finally satisfied. Even with all the ups and downs,life gets better.I have never been so happy with myself as I am now, for the first time in my life I can actually look at myself in the mirror and feel important.I am extremly creative and motivated.I am so open-minded that nothing shocks me anymore.But please don't try to make me think like you.There is no difference between being Naive or Child-like so PLZ save the drama for yo' mamma.Lately, I am growing exceedingly independent everyday. John Carlos. Im 22 years old on the verge of 23.As you know who you are always changes, however i dont like when people change me. I set a lot of goals for myself and I am extremly dedicated. Its hard to make my life look easy i have many insecturies but i learn to fade them out when i need to. I'm not the partying type of guy anymore but I do love to have fun! I just prefer hanging out with a couple of people at a time. I have wonderful best friends. I think its cool to try new things. I love to talk on the cell phone and listen to music. I love singing. I yet need to go clubbing. Im single and not looking.I have a hard time with with first impressions but i love to meet new people. I love all things beauty and i believe beauty is more of a feeling than anything else. It's something i want to believe in... i would also love to love.. or at least believe in love.. if that's possible. I hope it is. I love good converstations with the people I'm close to. I LOVE: laughter, emotion, losing track of time, running barefoot in the rain, laying on the grass staring into the sky for hours, escaping through music, writing and reading poetry, drinking good water, falling asleep next to someone, letting my mind wander, making people smile. I feel things very deeply and my life never lacks INTENSITY.I will no longer get out of control haha but it's true. I don't care for stereotypes. Therefore, I love originality and people who aren't afraid to be who they truly want to be/ are/ aspire to be... because that's how I am... and you can take it or leave it! ;) but i'll let you figure out the rest by yourself.
my business account is www.myspace.com/jay_cee2
Listen to me.
All of you, and you know who I'm talking to. I flip through your profiles where you list you are 'this and this and this' and you do 'this and this and this' and you 'won't take shit' or you're 'aggressive and hard to like' and whatnot and so on and so forth...
Damn you.
It's all lies, and you know it. You've taken the internet and manufactured a personality. You've gone beyond listing ice cream and cheese under likes, and bad gas and maybe a certain brand of soup under dislikes and built a person that only exists on your board. Pictures taken with the contrast up to hide your blemishes and imperfections, shadows cast to make your stomach look washboard, witty quotes and song lyrics everywhere....
We're all becoming so fake.
Remember before? When dissatisfaction with reality would make you withdraw into yourself? Or maybe...make you stay home and draw more, or write more, or spend more time talking to people that would deal with you long enough to make friendly?
That doesn't happen anymore.
We bring up our flickering page, blue green, pink black, red black, orange black, purple green - we bring it up and we make a person. We make up things we do, we make up personality quirks...we don't judge ourselves, we don't make observations of our character...we simply make a character.
We make up words on forums, and make up abbreviations of chat. We meet other people like us, that are escaping something. Other people that probably aren't having much fun in reality...and if they are...they're probably even worse liars than we thought, initially.
It's the beginning of an era - we've become plugged in. Even this essay is being written on a computer.
There is no real hope.
I walk the halls at school, overhear the younger students talking about what 'happened on chat last night' and hearing about new quirks they added to their profiles, and new Napoleon Dynamite avatars they've found and posted. The more inside the jokes on your page are, the cooler you've become.
So...I'm only going to tell you this once.
You've become satisfied too early, and you've cut off the umbilical connecting you to your ability to change.
There's blood fucking everywhere now, thanks to you, because no one will clean up their own messes, and we're so caught in this world of passwords and private windows and blocks and unblocks and comments and messages that we've become convinced that no one has feelings anymore.
We aren't changing. We're getting fatter, we're wearing more makeup. We're running less. We play with each other less...we just do less.
We don't work as hard, we don't care as much, and we're more inclined to fantasize and build pretty lives for ourselves based on...nothing.
I suppose...I suppose that all of this will just go away when we get older. Our romanticized personalities. We'll get bored with ourselves, eventually.
