furniture-chewing. poop-eating. humping and being humped. butt-sniffing. cat-chasing. stuffed animals. car rides. getting attention from the ladies. excitedly chasing anything people throw, then forgetting to bring it back to them. any toy with a squeaker. the louder and later at night the better.
I'd like to meet:
Warning - Do NOT get a Frenchie!They snort, spit, gurgle, bubble, purr, wheeze, scrock, make luggies, gag, yack, pant, and choke. You've never heard so many obnoxious sounds from a living animal in your life. Makes more nasty noises than a frat house party. It will pee in your shoes and on the side of the bed. It will pee on your kid. It will hear the doorbell on the TV and go protective. It will be deaf when its time to do something it doesn't want. It will only eat when another dog wants to eat his food. It will pretend he can't go up the stairs when he doesn't want too. It will try to act tough with the cats and if a cat swats it, it will cry. It will stand in front of the water bowl scaring off the other dogs. The more you don't like it the more it likes you. It will follow you everywhere and get caught underneath your feet. It looks at you with those bug eyes wanting love. Give it affection ... and it spits. If you love it - it will ignore you. If you hate it - he never leaves your side. It will stand on your chest when you sleep. It will spit in your face and rub those prickly whiskers against your lips to wake you up. It will sleep on the pillow and get indigent if you try to use it. And it will only use the goose down pillows. It will stare at you while you sleep. When you are working on the computer it will wedge against your ankle. It will be fixated with smells. It will be overjoyed when you take your socks off and jam its nose between your toes. After you eat it will be fascinated with your breath. It will park its pushed up nose against the refrigerator air vent trying to suck smells out. It will drink your coffee ... then spit in it. It gets cold in the winter and overheats in the summer. It only pants if you don't look at it - and stops when you do look. It takes it forever to drink with that pushed in face. When walking the real dogs with it, it will be determined to walk in front of the others.
Don't get a Frenchie!
