Condensing every idiot I've ever met and sending them to the middle of the North Pole...especially the ones that work within the airline industry, not including my cousin, but definitely including Richard Karn, (apparently the guy who played 'Al' on 'Home Improvement', which happens to be a very sorry excuse for mindless entertainment),and then waiting like a week and spraying them each with a firehose...and then leaving but only to come back about three days later and then do it again and then leave again...I have seperation issues...
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Joseph
Birthday: Libra
Birthplace: my mother's vagina
Current Location: your mother's vagina
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: same
Height: 5'11and9/16"
Right Handed or Left Handed: wrong
Your Heritage: American
The Shoes You Wore Today: black, one on each foot
Your Weakness: love
Your Fears: tribute bands
Your Perfect Pizza: sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, green olives, garlic, bacon, Jennifer Love Hewitt...
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: back to school full time...
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I don't IM anymore...recovering, but admitting that I have had a problem in the past...
Thoughts First Waking Up: Why am I still alive right now? Oh, wait, I have to be...OK, feet on the floor...in a minute...OK, five minutes...
Your Best Physical Feature: My heart...and my little boy butt...you just don't get that at my age...
Your Bedtime: when I have to sleep in order to function within the course of my chosen profession...or when Eric tells me to go leepies...
Your Most Missed Memory: My most honest and true of times, being with my father and cherishing his existence...also playing with my dog Ginger, my first friend...
Pepsi or Coke: This should be in my most missed memory category...Coca Cola...
MacDonalds or Burger King: Wildfire
Single or Group Dates: the more the messier...
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Chamomile...
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, peanut butter, strawberries...
Cappuccino or Coffee: I don't do caffeine...
Do you Smoke: Blame the Marlboro man...cowboys ain't all good...
Do you Swear: fuck no...
Do you Sing: when you pay me to...your funeral...
Do you Shower Daily: why yes I do, that's why I smell purty
Have you Been in Love: Only now...
Do you want to go to College: I am already there...
Do you want to get Married: perhaps again someday
Do you believe in yourself: absolutely
Do you get Motion Sickness: nope
Do you think you are Attractive: of course, don't you? (think that YOU are, that is...I'm not THAT arrogant)
Are you a Health Freak: kinda
Do you get along with your Parents: you have to at a certain age...if not, you are screwing up...
Do you like Thunderstorms: Only when the rain is warm, the weather is hot, the mood is steamy, and we are naked...
Do you play an Instrument: No. I play several.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No, in the past hour...
In the past month have you Smoked: smoked what?
In the past month have you been on Drugs: 'On drugs'? Who says that?
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No, I'm a complete loser...
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: OMG I just LOVE shopping...
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No I have not...why is this relevant?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yuck...no seafood, thank you...
In the past month have you been on Stage: HAHAROFLMAO...in which stage of what?
In the past month have you been Dumped: that hasn't happened in quite some time...
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No but only cuz it's been cold outside...and then there's shrinkage and discussion and then I gotta prove my manhood and then people get embarassed and it just gets ugly...I have no shame...
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: does someone's humility count?
Ever been Drunk: I, I do not recall Senator...
Ever been called a Tease: ha..yeah..you know you want it...show me you want it...is this thing on?
Ever been Beaten up: the general public does it to me often...
Ever Shoplifted: NEVER...I am a child of god...
How do you want to Die: I would like to be hit by a meteor square on the top of my head....or a Mack truck...that would be sweet
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: anything but a sound engineer...
What country would you most like to Visit: Hawaii...
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: purple
Favourite Hair Color: green
Short or Long Hair: medium
Height: 5'11"
Weight: Medium
Best Clothing Style: Well done...
Number of Drugs I have taken: two and a half...legalize it, it's just a plant...crack hounds kill for it, we eat cheetos and watch south park...
Number of CDs I own: 500-ish
Number of Piercings: 4
Number of Tattoos: almost 2...
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Only one...getting involved with a completely psycho cunt...sorry for the strong language, but I just see it as a definition with negative connotations...I think it may have actually been a weasel and not an actual person...but I can't be sure unless I find a witch who knows how to turn people into weasels...or maybe she turned herself into a weasel...not really sure if it was actually a weasel...or a woman...could have just been a bona fide BITCH, but I don't think it was a dog, pretty sure it was a woman...still not sure why god invented that animal...or perhaps it just surfaced from the fiery pits of hell...god made the devil himself, you know...that's his problem...not mine anymore...thank you, god, for not making that my problem...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
someone who is actually normal...so that I may shoot them in the head...and any of James Brown's bassists...I won't shoot them...that's James' job....SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES ..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY
GOOD FOR ANYTHING .. BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO
YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS...
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music=therapy
Natural Born Killers, Pulp Fiction, Anything Coen Brothers, The Shining, Waking Life, Napoleon Dynamite, Nightmare Before Christmas, Goodfellas, Trainspotting, Shrek, Snatch, American Movie, Evil Dead, Jackass the Movie, Ray, Pink Flamingos, Spinal Tap and Anything that THOSE guys did, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, The Halloween series, Airplane, The Blues Brothers, Animal House, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Woodstock:The Movie, The Wall, Eraserhead, The Breakfast Club, Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Caddyshack, Debbie Does Dallas, Joseph does Jacksonville...get the picture?
this should probably be in my heroes category...Dr. Gregory House, Dr. Perry Cox, Red Foreman, Gordon Ramsay...
The Subterraneans, Catcher in the Rye, War and Peace, To Kill a Mockingbird, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Merchant of Venice, The Darwin Awards, Being and Nothingness, Of Mice and Men, Where the Sidewalk Ends, The Tao of Pooh, Tao Te Ching, Running With Scissors,The DaVinci Code, Walden...to name a few...
Led Zepplin, The Beatles, Sir George Martin, Michael Hedges, Victor Wooten, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rush, Yes, James Brown, Fishbone, Brave Last Days, Bumpus, Primus, Jimi Hendrix, Charles Mingus, Bob Lizik, Elliott Smith, Nick Drake, Prince, Bird, Monk, Diz, Nine Inch Nails, Igor Stravinsky, John Coltraine, Tower of Power, Ben Folds, Snoop, Arrested Development, Phish, Steely Dan, Parliament/Funkadelic, Metallica, Dr. Dre, Sonic Youth, Soundgarden, The Police, Johnny Cash, Gillian Welch, Chick Corea, Stevie Wonder, Stevie Ray Vaughn, His Lord and Saviour Frank Zappa, Earth, Wind and Fire, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, Leo Kottke, Jaco Pastorius, Gustav Holst, David Bowie, Robert Johnston, Hank Williams Sr., Bob Dylan, Black Sabbath, Van Halen, Mike Manring, Thelonius Monk, Spoon, TLC, The Shins, Men at Work, STP, Oh My God, Alice in Chains, Incubus, John Mayer, New Radicals, Jellyfish, Seal, Ella Fitzgerald, Minus the Bear, Metallica, Van Hunt, Snoop, Rage Against the Machine, Billie Holiday, Tool, Marijuana, and more, stay tuned.....