After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then
the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers.
By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in the cockpit.
S: Something tightened in the cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume reset to a more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: The number 3 engine is missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one saved for last......
P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.
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I would like to meet people that don’t take themselves to seriously.
People who don’t take life as one big joke
People who genuinely want to be my friend
bands
WOMEN
Truckers
musicians
nice people
and Metal Sanaz.
She is just…..OMG!!! ;)
Music:
glitterskin,evanesence Cradle of Filth Nightwish - Children of Bodom, Sonata Arctica, Iron Maiden, Dream Theater, Evergrey ,Rise Against, Metalica, blood roses, sow, jor, pink floyd, rammstine, disturbed, red pony, R.A.T.M, the chillies, offspring, my chemical romance, rancid, trivium, korn, linkin park, papa roach, , kenedy soundtrack, stoopi,Opeth, Nevermore, Ayreon, Ambeon, Star One, , Devin Townsend, Strapping Young Lad,limp bizkit, slipknot, sylosis, october file, voodoo, the time is, inme, Sun Caged, Bruce Dickinson, Freak Kitchen, Enya, Dilerium, Megadeth, Skid Row,lots and lots and lots more too ............
Movies:
donnie darko, dead awake, Horror vision, In the woods, shootdown, split decisions,when trumpets fade,epicenter, fire trap. armageddon, nursie, sanitarium, the windsor protocol, the dummy, granny, final scream, dead above ground, demon fire, taxi , taxi 2, camp blood, camp blood 2, the cruel deap, exorcism, 976- evil 2, any mans death, tenth of a second, the underground, man on fire, the fear of halloween night 2, the untouchables, the negotiator, phantoms, pieces, 8 mile, kill joy, paranoid, twin dragons, impulse, knights of the city, final assignment, breaker mortant, street corner justice, street of dreams, mossad, team america(FUCK YEAH), fist of honour, kick boxer 3,the abi sex mastercalss, freddy vs jason, fatal attraction, peter gunn, secret of the andes, front beach babes, rules of engagement, a bronx tale, ordinary decent criminal, scarface, apocalypse now, the godfather, iron eagle, the bad pack, kickboxer, man hunt, bruce lee, immortal, shrek1 and 2, the firm, young guns, brotherhood of justice, killjoy 2, jigsaw, valentines day, ATOR the fighting eagle, samson and delilah, tunnel vision, lima, the versace murder, jackass the movie, anhilators, joyride, the green mile, the maker, halloween 4, a bay of blood, on dangerous ground, land of the free, last man standing, jethro, miami hustle, berserker, mutant, to heal a nation, resident evil, the fanatic, swimming with sharks, disclosure, kiss the kirls, robo cop, out, cave girl, the temptress witchcraft 2, lagace, perfect crimes 2, danger zone, return to death row, driftwood, welcome to the jungle, SPINAL TAP, Chopper.
Television:
FUCK TV!!!!
RADIO IS MY PLEASURE
Books:
I like reading, well i like reading porn books.
they are pretty cool and i can relate to them. also i like the pictures.
..
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oh the tele just said fatty splashes!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA FATTY SPLASHES!!!! HA
FATTY SPLASHES!!!!
Heroes:
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