Drag Racing, Clubbing, Billiards, Dining Out, Traveling, Working Out, Hanging Out With Friends, and Making Money!...
Look at those LIPS!!!
...SAVIN' ME (Nickelback)
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.A YOUNG MAN GOES INTO A PHARMACY AND SAYS TO THE PHARMACIST, "HELLO, COULD YOU GIVE ME CONDOM. I'M GOING TO MY GIRLFRIENDS FOR DINNER AND I THINK I MAY BE IN WITH CHANCE!" THE PHARMACIST GIVES HIM THE CONDOM AND AS THE YOUNG MAN IS GOING OUT; HE RETURNS AND SAYS, "GIVE ME ANOTHER CONDOM BECAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND'S SISTER IS VERY CUTE TOO. SHE ALWAYS CROSSES HER LEGS IN A PROVOCATIVE MANNER WHEN SHE SEES ME AND I THINK I MIGHT STRIKE IT LUCKY THERE TOO." THE PHARMACIST GIVES HIM A SECOND CONDOM AND AS THE BOY IS LEAVING HE TURNS BACK AND SAYS, "GO ON, GIVE ME ONE MORE CONDOM BECAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND'S MUM IS STILL PRETTY CUTE AND WHEN SHE SEES ME SHE ALWAYS MAKES EYES, AND SINCE SHE INVITED ME FOR DINNER, I THINK SHE IS EXPECTING ME TO MAKE A MOVE!DURING DINNER, THE YOUNG MAN IS SITTING WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND ON HIS LEFT, THE SISTER ON HIS RIGHT AND THE MUM FACING HIM. WHEN THE DAD GETS THERE, THE BOY LOWERS HIS HEAD AND STARTS PRAYING, "DEAR LORD, BLESS THIS DINNER AND THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU GIVE US." A MINUTE LATER THE BOY IS STILL PRAYING; "THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR KINDNESS." TEN MINUTES GO BY AND THE BOY IS STILL PRAYING, KEEPING HIS HEAD DOWN. THE OTHERS LOOK AT EACH OTHER SURPRISED AND HIS GIRLFRIEND IS EVEN MORE SURPRISED THAN THE OTHERS. SHE GETS CLOSE TO THE BOY AND SAYS IN HIS EAR, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SO RELIGIOUS." THE BOY REPLIES, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR DAD WAS A PHARMACIST!"Friendship Between Women:A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.Friendship Between Men:A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there....
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