the last of the first great romantics

"cathy, i'm lost" i said, though i knew she was sleeping. "i'm empty and aching and i don't know why"
hello blue world. this is, apparently, me coming out of my shell in wickedly subversive fashion. that's what goes on here, isn't it? well, okay, i'm entirely unsubversive. but maybe that makes me different. my name's andy. it's short for andrew, a name common in scotland that derives from the greek for 'manly' and 'strong'. the irony is not lost on me. my surname is turner, a northern working-class name that means 'lathe operator' (a large machine for turning and shaping wood). so, anthroponomastically speaking, i am a manly lathe operator. but in reality, i am a laughable shell of underachievement. oh lordy. i'm 24 years old at the moment, so much older than I can take. i'm currently dug into a bristol life, working for the healthcare commission. it's quite rewarding stuff, even if a lot of it is beyond me. what i really want to do with my life is write my books. that would make me incredibly happy, if only i had the time and will-power to just GET BLOODY ON WITH IT. but i don't. not yet anyway. i have fifteen fully formed book ideas in my head, notebooks and drawers, but my time is divvied up in a way that makes it hard to focus on the enormity of my chosen life pursuit. i've also just started writing for playlouder.com, which may one day lead to bigger things, who knows. it probably won't happen, but that's what they said about stuffed crusts and invisible music. and now look. anyway, i can't really say for sure where home is..i've lived in lots of places, and they all mean a lot to me. but basically, i was born near leeds, lived on the outskirts of bristol for most of my life, did my first degree in exeter, and then went to winchester for my MA. now i'm back in bristol, though living away from my wonderful, wonderful parents. it still feels like good things may just happen here. after all, it's all about being happy, and that's something i'd quite like to be (although one vital ingredient continues to eludes me, and maybe it will forever...if i were a knight of rohan, capable of great deeds...but i'm not. i'm just a hobbit). i do miss winchester though. my shire. there's a terrible achy void in my heart that i'm sure winchester used to fill. there aren't nearly enough ducks in bristol. i'll go back one day, you can be sure of that. anyway, i'm at the age now where my friends have gone and scattered themselves far and wide across the country. in varying ways i love them all. but i'm kind of flying with a good group of 'keepers' now - love to them all. i would surly have fallen down by now without them keeping me on my feet. but i still sometimes feel like i'm best on my own, so maybe even the 'keepers' i won't keep forever. not that i don't want to, just that i'm not very good at keeping on top of the things you have to do in order to keep the 'keepers'. anyway, most of my life takes place within a homely shell...i write, i read, i listen to music. i love music. especially alt-rock, rock, alt-folk, goth, goth-folk, folk-blues, electro, electro-folk, folktronica, indie, pop, pop'n'roll, folk-rock, post-rock, punk-rock, folk-punk, glam-rock, glam-folk, folk, death folk, folk metal and post-hardcore-twee-folk-death-jangle. i even write music sometimes, but i don't think the world is quite ready for that yet. but trust me, your kids are going to hate it. well, thats me i guess. if this brief snapshot has ensnared your senses, so to speak, send me a message. i probably won't read it. but if this whole sorry experience hasn't proved captivating in the least, which i think much more likely, then please leave me alone. it's quite literally that easy. at this point i'd like to thank the gorgeous people of myspace for giving me the opportunity to express myself in such appropriately defined areas. cheers folks. peace xXx **please note - all if not some of the photos on this thing are very if not quite old. the fact is, as much as it pains me, i find my outward appearance repugnant at best. it is very rare that a photograph of me materialises that i can bear to glance at - only a handful have stood the test of time, and still remain faithfully plastered on anything that requires an image of me. the newest and most accurate are the first two, in which i am sporting black hair and sad eyes. but even these are two years old. there it is, i wish it weren't so, but alas, it be so. also, please will no-one ask me to join facebook or headparty or friendshipunited or myorgy or any other website of that ilk and stamp. it took enough to get me this far.**
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||| 33%
Stability |||||||||||| 46%
Orderliness |||||| 26%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 50%
Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56%
Mystical |||||||||||||| 56%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Religious |||| 16%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Materialism |||||||||||| 43%
Narcissism |||| 16%
Adventurousness |||||||||| 36%
Work ethic |||||| 30%
Self absorbed |||||| 30%
Conflict seeking |||||| 30%
Need to dominate |||||| 23%
Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 43%
Anti-authority |||||||||| 36%
Wealth |||||||||| 36%
Dependency |||||||||||||||| 70%
Change averse |||||||||||||||| 70%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Individuality |||||||||||||| 56%
Sexuality |||||||||||||| 56%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Physical security |||||| 30%
Physical Fitness |||| 17%
Histrionic |||| 16%
Paranoia |||||||||||||| 56%
Vanity |||||| 30%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Female cliche |||||||||||||| 56% Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Andy.
Birthday: 21st July 1983.
Birthplace: Beverley, Yorkshire.
Current Location: Bristol.
Eye Color: Green.
Hair Color: Dark Brown.
Height: 5'9"ish.
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right. I am not a Communist.
Your Heritage: Mixed, but primarily Anglo-Saxon.
The Shoes You Wore Today: I have been barefoot since the crack of dawn. When I finally go for food, I will wear green and black trainers.
Your Weakness: I fall prey to sadness far too easily. And pretty boys.
Your Fears: Driving, the dark, dying alone and unloved.
Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni, ground beef, mushrooms, barbeque sauce.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Finish my book and fall in love.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I don't tend to use instant messengers. I've never been that desperate to talk to people. In general life though I totally overuse 'wicked' and 'oh dear'.
Thoughts First Waking Up: I'm still me and none of that was real. Shit.
Your Best Physical Feature: ...I am at a loss. My eyes are an okay colour, but I've seen many nicer.
Your Bedtime: 1am on a weekday, 2-4am on a Friday/Saturday.
Your Most Missed Memory: Waking up with someone there.
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi I suppose, but I prefer juice.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Burger King, but I'd much rather leave both well alone.
Single or Group Dates: Single.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton Ice Tea.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla, at a push. But if you mean ice-cream, I prefer it flavourless, odourless and almost entirely abstract.
Cappuccino or Coffee: *indignant splutter* A Cappuccino IS coffee - what the fuck else did you think it was? Don't mess with me, you can take the boy out of the coffee shop, but you can't take the snobbery out of the boy.
Do you Smoke: Yes.
Do you Swear: Like a bishop.
Do you Sing: Yes. I have an unusual yet captivating voice.
Do you Shower Daily: I try to, if I have to leave the flat.
Have you Been in Love: Yes. Yes I have.
Do you want to go to College: I already have been. I have 4 A-Levels, a Law Degree and a Master's. I would like to do a PhD at some point.
Do you want to get Married: Yes, but I can't see it happening. I will probably get a dog instead.
Do you belive in yourself: No. I never happened, and I have proof.
Do you get Motion Sickness: No.
Do you think you are Attractive: No.
Are you a Health Freak: No.
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes. I love them very much.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes. I especially like being drunk, naked, wet and alone in Thunderstorms.
Do you play an Instrument: I try to. I have a guitar, ukulele, ocarina, accordion, harmonica and violin, but I'm not very good on any of them.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes.
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No. I have not been on a date in over 2 years.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No. They don't do good business in England.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No.
In the past month have you been on Stage: No.
In the past month have you been Dumped: No. See the question about Dates.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No. There have been no Thunderstorms.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No.
Ever been Drunk: Yes. Yes. Yes.
Ever been called a Tease: Yes.
Ever been Beaten up: Yes.
Ever Shoplifted: Yes.
How do you want to Die: With someone who loves me telling me it will be alright.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Anything but this. An author, given the choice.
What country would you most like to Visit: Scotland. I love it.
In a Boy/Girl
Favourite Eye Color: Green or storm-grey.
Favourite Hair Color: Jet-black or white-blond.
Short or Long Hair: Somewhere inbetween.
Height: My height or slightly taller.
Weight: Comfortably in the middle, between anorexic and morbidly obese.
Best Clothing Style: Honest yet stylish.
Number of Drugs you ..I, what?
Number of CDs you own: Around 400-600, at a guess.
Number of Piercings: None. I had my bottom lip pierced at one point though.
Number of Tattoos: None.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Possibly every decision I have ever made.
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