Satan

Hello my name is satan, you may know me from a book called 'The Bible'. That was actually written by me after a fifth of bourbon, if I would've known it had become the best selling novel of all time I would of copyrighted it. Go pick it up in the fiction section of your local library.As for hell, its not really that hot, when I was describing it my air conditioner was broken and I exaggerated it. And if your wondering what I do with my pitchfork, I just use it to scratch my ass and hold me up when I'm drunk.I usually come off a the bad guy, that's just because you all are judgemental bastards. You can thank me for drugs and prostitutes. Oh and sorry about AIDS, that's my fault.