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I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I'm good. I'm good. uh...Born and raised in Northeast Ohio, Graduated with only having to repeat Kindergarten, Didn't get drunk till my 20th or 21st birthday, i don't like mellon of any type, my first celebrity sighting was Tiny Tim at a rib burnoff, first concert was They Might Be Giants, am convinced that my death will be caused by falling, kind of a jerk and kind of a nice guy, thunderstorms and tornados are my idea of a nice day, can't blame one person for all ther wrongs in the world because it's your fault too, one sister and two brothers, cats are better than dogs but i like dogs, turn into a five year old whenever i see a huge full moon or a rainbow, I want superpowers, tried acid a couple of times years ago, lost my virginity in a hotel room to a girl who was literally terrified that somehow her father would find us and come busting in, didn't like beer at all until a trip to Europe(now that's bier!), Went to Detroit for the party after the Wings won the Stanley Cup in late 90's, Was at the actual match up between the Undertaker and Mick Foley when he got thrown off the steel cage(same side, too), got a damaged tooth as a kid and instead of the root dying it started to grow uncontrollably leading me to a DOUBLE root canal six years later, have almost no sense of smell, love to draw profile views of imaginary people, once got stuck in the support structure of a wooden rocking chair, favorite name for a girl- Molly or any element, readheads- love em, ferrets are awful pets and people shouldn't own them. Everyone should know how to swim, do their own laundry, drive, order a pizza, read a map, behave in restaurants, ride a bike, throw a ball, say "hello" in at least three languages, use a shovel and hammer, sew a little, cook a bit, laugh at themselves, what a perogi is, rub a back, whistle, use chopsticks, how to hold animals and children, basic math and geography, read a comic book, LOVE music, plunge a toilet, change a light bulb, pump gas, mow the lawn, vacuum the floor, say what they mean and mean what they say. I also think everyone should get a passport and use it. I think fart jokes are funny every time, I like Southpark, Simpsons and the Family Guy, I fell off a waterfall, I sold everything I owned and went to Europe, freaked my little brother out one time because I was laughing while I was asleep(I still remember the dream), My first celebrity crush was either Madeline Kahn or Olivia Newton John, I would wear white linen shirts and blue jeans every day if I could(shoeless if possible. If not then some kick butt all terrain shoes), used to collect comics but now they are all gone, quit football because the new season of GI Joe had started, would love to spearhead technologies in the areas of teleportation, space travel, and condoms that you can't feel, don't believe time travel in a physical form will ever be possible, Jesus was just some well adjusted dude with a message of hope and an education, have the worst memory of anybody I know(so I tend to forget kindnesses but also any slights), not good at arguing politics, religion, or sports. I am amazed at the quality of the few good friends I have, I can punch a steel beam with my right hand but a pillow would hurt my left, I wear 13EEE shoes, i detest the suffering of innocense, often side with the underdog even if I don't like them, prefer to sit on the floor than furniture, haven't had television in years, Twisted Metal 3 is the best game ever made, had the Universe figured out into a mathamatical equation but promptly forgot it, would worship the Wind if I had to choose an element, I am positive i was a bear in a past life, as well as a feline, and a Catholic Scribe back in the dark ages, don't use the word "hate" when I don't truly mean it(which I can't think of any right now), wish I could fly more than anything, immortality seems like it would be a curse, and I'm sure I could go on forever...
Would You Survey
Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com
Would you eat a bug? Wrapped in bacon I..'d eat my own finger.
Would you bungee jump? Yes. YESSSS! Throw me out of a helicopter over the Grand Canyon with nothing but a elastic cord around my ankles. Somebody please!
Would you hang glide? yes. I hope that..'s how I die. An alternate awesome death would be strapped to the head of a missile that..'s racing towards a Nazi encampment. Noyce.
Would you kill someone? If my neighbor..'s dog once more tells me to.
Would you kiss someone of the same sex? Only if he smeared peanut butter on his lips. Or if I had an open sore.
Would you parachute from a plane? Old hat. I..'m so awesome. Actually one of the most painful expierences of my life. Make sure that groin harness is up in there, kids.
Would you walk on hot coals? No. That seems like something an idiot would do.
Would you be a vegitarian? I would eat a vegitarian. Does that count?
Would you instant message a stranger? Only if it would tramatize them. Or seriously cock block them.
Would you sing karaoke? Sure. First time was in a lesbian bar in Cincinnati. Dueted .."Your the One That I Want.." from .."Grease.." with some other dude.
Would you run a red light? Seems like a silly job to be running a red light all day, but if it pays well I..'d try it.
Would you shoplift? Not again. I don..'t have the nerve for it.
Would you dye your hair blue? Like the old Superman comics? Hell, yeah!
Would you be on survivor Only if it turned all .."Lord of the Flies.." and I got to kill the fat kid with the glasses. Wait...I..'m the fat kid with the glasses. Nope. I wouldn..'t do it.
Would you wear make-up in public? If I was the prettiest in the room.
Would you not wear make-up in public? Yes, but only because I hate animal testing...and I..'m usually the prettiest in the room.
Would you cheat on a test? I feel like I didn..'t get the entire .."test experience.." if I don..'t.
Would you make someone cry? Yes. Because sometimes it..'s the righteous thing to do. And it can be funny, too.
Would you date someone more than 10 years older than you? If she can cook and doesn..'t have any kids living at home and doesn..'t cry after sex(during is fine).
Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Lao Tsu, Jesus, Buddah, freddie Mercury, Bach, Beethoven, Mo Zart, Charlie Chaplin, groucho Marx, Jack black, God, the inventor of corned beef, The Earl of Sandwich, Clint Eastwood, Rembrandt, Snoop Dog, Joseph heller, Thomas Mann, Aimee Mann, my future and past selves, the jerk who invented work, the Fonz, Ron Jeremy, Superman, Tegan and sara, Gorillaz, Run DMC, Beastie Boys, Jim Rockford, Jet Li, Terry Gilliam, Tony and Ridley Scott, Stan Lee, Alan Moore, John Totelben( i think i spelled that wrong), The wyeth family(that too), Tito jackson, Jason lee, jason Mewes, Allah, Peter Frampton, fred Willard, Elle Mcpherson, Jack Kirby, Chris Cornell, Judas, Dracula, Darth Vader, Agent Smith, The Greek and Roman and Norse Pantheons of Gods, Indiana Jones, Sitting Bull, Guy Fawkes, Frodo and Sam, Cary Grant, King Arthur, Ricky The Steamboat Dragon, you, the Three Stooges, Joan Jet, George Washington, Walt Disney, Chuck Jones(who, along with my family, taught me everything I know about being funny), Arno rubick, Albert Einstein, Gene Wilder, Tina Fey, a hot maid who would work for backrubs and pasta lunches, that guy who did that thing that one time, Les Paul, someone who could teach me how to sing like a god, Alec Baldwin, David Letterman, T-32, Eli Wallach, Brian Adams, Beth Hart, Concrete Blonde, Mike Patton(I have an idea for an animated movie he would be the villian in), Spider-man, and Jeepers Creepers(not the horror film).

My Blog

Anagram Imperfect

  "  Daniel Adam Maness  "           ;     by                &nb...
Posted by on Mon, 10 Mar 2008 00:43:00 GMT

Jan. 1 2008. 1:59 pm

It started to snow shorly after midnight.  Anderson Cooper had just welcomed in the new year with Kathy Griffith.  There was Doug and Melissa as well as Brett and Morgan.  Everyone had ...
Posted by on Tue, 01 Jan 2008 10:58:00 GMT

The Parking Lot

laughing about it and my friend agreesit's a fine lineI think you might"I walk out back, the drug addict friend of my drug addict landlord is painting the poles black on Christmas day."listening then ...
Posted by on Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:39:00 GMT

Ol’ timey wisdom

I heard the bells on Christmas day Their old familiar carols play And mild and sweet the words repeat, Of peace on earth, good will to men. I thought how as the day had come, The belfries of al...
Posted by on Sat, 08 Dec 2007 22:28:00 GMT

is it funny if i have to explain it?

Ah, that feeling you get when "you just had to be there".  No matter.  I'll tell it anyway.  Surfing away on a tidal wave of internet video clips, I click on an old WWF match from about...
Posted by on Thu, 12 Apr 2007 14:55:00 GMT

understanding is not easy

Here are somethings I have never been able to understand.  Many of these things are questions I have asked myself my entire life in one way or another and never have come close to an answer. ...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 14:54:00 GMT

the world's greatest lover

the growing snow may entomb this town yetbut I, as I am, would not worry nor would I fretFor as long as I can dig, this man, you must not forget, would pave over Hellrelease the world of all debt...
Posted by on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 23:50:00 GMT

Playlist Poetry Potpouri

so I've decided to let my computer's music playlist write a poem.  I just put it on random and wrote the first line to each new song(with some minor skipping around).  some of it reads nice,...
Posted by on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 00:25:00 GMT

something beautiful

want to hear something slow and beautiful        I think I need to dream   If I can't wake up all the way todayat least, God, let me sleepI want to sing along ...
Posted by on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 19:42:00 GMT

This is not a cry for help. it's just a cry

I smoke cigarettes and pretend I'm not hungry   i don't listen to anyone anymoreWhen the snake poisons my bloodi don't blame iti only wonder what did I pick it up forThe truth be told I woul...
Posted by on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 10:19:00 GMT