We're fucking huge in Japan. Huge, MASSIVE, bigger than Tom Waits. No fault of our own, of course. We barely even liked Japan before they liked us. Some game company picked up our song I Like Tight Jeans! without even asking us and had it all over the TV and radio to promote their lame-arse product. Of course we threatened to sue the pants off those fuckers. Laney came out punching with her law degree and Jerry came out firing with her big mouth. The five of us now know every cuss word you can imagine in Japanese. We even made up some of our own. The Sickness and video games? Yeah, we don't think so. Anyway, we ended up with shitloads of money, superstar status in Japan and a Fender endorsement out of it. (You suckers - we don't even LIKE Fender. We sold that Telecaster for drugs and a new soft top for Mel's jeep). So now we're off to Japan for our third consecutive tour. Jesus FUCK, we're getting sick of that place.
We've only toured once in Australia but godDAMN was it legendary. You may have missed us on our World Tour of Daylesford and too bad for you coz we are ACE! Everyone says so. Like all the bands you ever loved but BETTER. We started off in Coburg (Yes, that's right. WOEburg, we call it now. Even bands as amazing as The Sickness have got to start somewhere). Ah, fuck, it's New Year's Eve and we wanna get drunk. Will finish this story some other time..
