A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a
zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench
in a mental institution, bored out of their minds."How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile."Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it,"
says the sadist."Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill
it," shouted the murderer."Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and
then have sex with it again," said the necrophile."Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it,
have sex with it again and then burn it," said the
pyromaniac.Silence took over... and the masochist says:
"Meow."
I'd like to meet:
Someone who will catch me off gaurd with romance.
Someone who will call me baby.
(Preferably)Someone who plays rugby and/or ice hockey.
Someone who won't let me go at parties, or in public, and if he does, someone who, when across the room, makes eye contact every few minutes so that I know that we're on each other's minds.
Someone who will keep me guessing.
Someone who will surprise me.
Someone who is older, but doesn't treat me as if I'm inferior because of my age.
Someone who can teach me important things that I will use later in life.
Someone who doesn't care that I wear sweatpants constantly.
Someone who will wear sweatpants with me.
Someone who will open my eyes to new things in this world without acting superior because they "knew about it first."
Someone who is intellegent, and that I can have conversations of substance with.
Someone who isn't afraid to talk dirty.
Someone to sit around and listen to Radiohead with.
Someone who will let me pick them up at odd hours of the night to bring them back to my house so that we can sleep.
or someone who has a car and will come over at odd hours of the night.
Someone who doesn't mind staying in one place for long periods of time.
Someone who will make me a CD, and explain why each song is on it.
Someone who is not closed-minded about anything.
Someone who doesn't push into things that I don't want to do.
Someone who is happy with what I can give, and won't expect anything more.
Someone who won't make me choose what movie to watch.
Someone who will have a song with me.
(Preferably) Someone who lives close.
Someone who won't mind when I'm quiet, and who won't get annoyed when I'm loud.
Someone who is passionate about something important to them.
Someone to have a "place" with.
Someone that won't abandon me without a phone call.
"Be prepared;
we've got the universe at our fingertips;
at the piano of life,
and we playing a sonata."
..
..
Nipples
Flash more nips.
0MG5SZSCMMNTS1!!11!
Music:
Funky beats.
ALWAYS; EUDEMONIA!
311;
A Tribe Called Quest;
Airplane On Air;
Akon;
Alanis Morissette;
Al Green;
Animal Collective;
Aphex Twin;
Architecture In Helsinki;
Atmosphere;
Bad Brains;
Beck;
Beep! Beep!;
Belle & Sebastian;
Ben Kweller;
Benny Stoofy;
Billie Holiday;
Binary Star;
Björk;
Black Flag;
Blink 182;
Bloc Party;
Bob Marley;
Bonedaddy;
Bright Eyes;
British Sea Patrol;
Broken Social Scene;
Bunky;
Cat Power;
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!;
Coco Rosie;
Coldplay;
Common;
Curtis Mayfield;
Damien Rice;
Death Cab For Cutie;
Deerhoof;
Devandra Banhart;
Doves;
Dr. Acula;
Duke Ellington;
Dying Fetus;
Electric Six;
Emiliana Torrini;
Fiona Apple;
Fischerspooner;
Frank Sinatra;
Freezepop;
Frou Frou;
Genghis Tron;
Gil Scott-Heron;
Gorillaz;
Grass Canyon;
Grouch;
Gym Class Heroes;
Her Space Holiday;
I Am Robot And Proud;
Idiot Pilot;
Ima Robot;
Imogen Heap;
Imortal Technique;
Interpol;
Iron & Wine;
Jack Johnson;
James Taylor;
Joanna Newsome;
Job For a Cpwboy;
John Coletrane;
John Mayor;
Joy Division;
Justin Timberlake;
Kanye West;
Kayo Dot;
Lake Trout;
LCD Soundsystem;
Le Tigre;
led Zeppelin;
Les Savy Fav;
Lil Wayne;
Lit;
Lovage;
Mannikin;
Marcy Playground;
Maroon 5;
Marvin Gaye;
Mates of State;
Matt Costa;
Mazzy Star;
Metric;
MEGATRONIX;
Miles Davis;
Mindless Self Indulgence;
Minus the Bear;
Mos Def;
Neautral Milk Hotel;
Neverending White Lights;
Nico;
No Doubt;
One Be Lo;
Ooberman;
Outrageous Cherry;
Pants Yell!;
Pas/Cal;
Patti Smith;
Pedro The Lion;
Pelican;
Peter Tosh;
Phish;
Pilfers;
Pinback;
Pink Floyd;
Placebo;
P.O.S.;
Prince;
Psapp;
Psyopus;
Pulp;
Queen;
Radiohead;
Red Hot Chili Peppers;
Reel Big Fish;
Regina Spektor;
Rhianna;
Russian Cirlces;
Save Ferris;
Sean Paul;
Seau Jorge;
Simon & Garfunkel;
Sixpence None The Richer;
Snoop Dogg;
Snow Patrol;
Sondre Lerche;
Spoon;
Stars;
Stereolab;
Steve Miller Band;
Sublime;
Sum 41;
Talib Kweli;
Telepopmusik;
The Black Dahlia Murder;
The Blood Brothers;
The Cardigans;
The Clash;
The Cranberries;
The Cure;
The Dandy Warhols;
The Decemberists;
The Doors;
The Faint;
The Flaming Lips;
The Futureheads;
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones;
The Moldy Peaches;
The Pixies;
The Psychedelic Furs;
The Ramones;
The Shins;
The Specials;
The Unicorns;
The Vines;
The Wailers;
Thelonious Monk;
Tilly and the Wall;
Tycho;
Xiu Xiu;
Yeah Yeah Yeahs;
Movies:
A Clockwork Orange;
A Lot Like Love;
Alice In Wonderland;
All I Wanna Do;
Almost Famous;
Amelie;
American History X;
Armageddon;
Baby Boy;
Basquiat;
Beavis and Butthead Do America;
Beerfest;
Before Sunrise;
Before Sunset;
Beetle Juice;
Billy Madison;
Bio-Dome;
Breakfast At Tiffany's;
Broken Flowers;
Big Fish;
Brick;
Boondock Saints;
Casablanca;
Charlie && The Chocolate Family;
Chasing Amy;
Cheech and Chong's Get Out of My Room;
Cheech and Chong's Next Movie;
Cheech and Chong's Nice Dreams;
Cheech and Chong's Still Smokin';
Cheech & Chong's The Corsican Brothers;
Cheech and Chong's Things are Tough All Over;
Cheech and Chong's Up In Smoke;
Chocolat;
Clerks;
Clerks;
Clerks II;
Clerks III;
Cool Hand Luke;
Cool Runnings;
Corpse Bride;
Dazed && Confused;
Dead Poet's Society;
Dogma;
Donnie Darko;
Drop Dead Fred;
Dying To Live;
Edawrd Scissorhands;
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind;
Elephant;
Empire Records;
Factotum;
Fast Times At Ridgemont High;
Finding Neverland;
Forrest Gump;
Garden State;
Gigi;
Girl, Interrupted;
Harold && Maude;
Happy Gilmore;
Heathers;
Hedwig && The Angry Inch;
Hook;
House of a Thousand Corpses;
How High
I ♥ Huckabees;
Infamous;
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back;
Josie and the Pussycats;
Kill Bil Vol. 1;
Kill Bill Vol. 2;
Kinsey;
Labyrinth;
Little Miss Sunshine;
Lords Of Dogtown;
Lost In Translation;
Love Me If You Dare;
Mallrats;
Me and You and Everyone We Know;
Misled Youth;
Moulin Rouge;
My Fair Lady;
Naked Blood;
Old School;
Out Cold;
Paris When It Sizzles;
Party Monster;
Peter Pan;
Pirates of the Caribbean, The Curse of the Black Pearl;
Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest;
Pleasantville;
Pretty In Pink;
Prozac Nation;
Pulp Fiction;
Pump Up the Volume!;
Really Sorry;
Rebel Without A Cause;
Resevoir Dogs;
Roman Holiday;
Romeo And Juliet;
Rushmore;
Sabrina;
Say Anything;
Shopgirl;
Sid && Nancy;
Sixteen Candles;
SLC Punk;
Snakes on a Plane;
Sorry;
Stoned;
Thank You For Smoking;
The Breakfast Club;
The Butterfly Effect;
The Chumscrubber;
The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys;
The Last Kiss;
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou;
The Neverending Story;
The Neverending Story II, The Next Chapter;
The NeverEnding Story III, Escape From Fantasia;
The Nightmare Before Christmas;
The Quiet;
The Rocky Horror Picture Show;
The Truman Show;
The Virgin Suicides;
Thumbsucker;
Titanic;
Trainspotting;
Triplets Of Belleville;
Wayne's World;
Weird Science;
Who Framed Roger Rabbit;
Willy Wonka && The Chocolate Factory;
Yeah Right!;
Television:
Daria;
Deadliest Catch;
Gangland: Lockdown
House;
Real Sex;
Say What Kareoke;
Sex and the City;
That 70s Show;
The Drug Years;
Oz;
Heroes:
Mostly incredible artists.
Plus this motherfucker. He's better than God.
And also my brother, who has worked for NASA, even though my family forgets that.
