"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." (C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity)
i am pretty sure my first memory is going to get slush puppies at the gas station with my grandfather, codge, in his really big car. i know it is a true memory because there aren't any pictures of it. you know, sometimes i think we remember things but i wonder if it's just because we've seen pictures. i am confident this particular memory is real because there are no pictures of it. i also remember picking up magnolia leaves in my nanny's yard, how big and smooth and brown and green they were...i remember laying on the floor and playing with lots of husky puppies...i remember the time i was riding our big black horse popper and he took off across the pasture and i was so scared, i told my mom he was galloping but my dad promised he was just trotting fast but who knows things seem a lot bigger and faster when you're 5 years old...i remember when my dad dressed up like santa claus for my 1st grade class but my sister gave it away when she yelled out "santa has the same tennis shoes as my daddy!"...i remember i had this really cool ring that i could change the stones out on top to match my outfit and i kept it in a drawer at my nanny's house...i remember how pretty the lilacs smelled in our yard in vermont...i remember my dad taking us to get our first pair of iceskates and how, when it was cold enough, i could skate at the bottom of the big hill in our yard where the water collected...i remember being so shy i always had to get my sister to ask the mcdonald's lady for more sweet-n-sour sauce...i remember the time my brother walked out of the bathroom into the middle of pizza hut with his pants down and a square of toilet paper and you can imagine the rest...i remember hiding in the bathroom at the swimming pool because i hated swimming lessons so much...i remember how much i loved for mom to make macaroni and cheese and how we called it rogies because my sister couldn't say it right...i remember always feeling out of place...i remember caring so much about what other people thought of me that i was scared to even talk to anyone...i remember thinking if i just had the right hair, clothes, car, friends that i would be confident...i remember the day God showed me my worth was not in my clothes, hair, possessions or friends but was defined on the cross by Jesus and how that changed my life forever
so that it wasn't about me anymore, but about God...everything is because of Him, about Him, and for Him... but i know my measly works will never be enough...i am just thankful for His grace... i eat icecream every night before bed because i love it...i love being outside and running through big trees in the woods...i love big dogs...i love the smell of horses mixed with leather...my favorite bumper sticker is "friends don't let friends drink starbucks" because it is true...neither my fried chicken nor my mashed potatoes will ever be as good as my moms....i like my hot tea english style (with milk)...i love to plant flowers and watch them grow...i am a terrible swimmer, i can't even dive...i love to take pictures of people when they're not looking...i am a quiet person...i'm not snobby or shy, i just like alone time...i have self-diagnosed myself with an old soul...
i hope everyone i meet sees a little light of Jesus when they talk to me...i hope i have kids because i'd love them to pieces...i want to teach kids about Jesus' love and how it's more than enough for all their needs...i want to visit six continents...i want to drive across the US in a convertible with no real plan...i want to learn to play an instrument and am leaning towards the hammered dulcimer...i want to serve on a foreign mission...i want to compete in an adventure race...i want to have life to the full...and i want to get on home to Heaven when my work here is done
