Jordan profile picture

Jordan

A pimp's love is very different from that of a square.

About Me

I like HANGIN' OUT. DOIN' THE SCENE.

My Interests

alyson hannigan, blackmar-diemer gambit, chess, cheap plastic religious icons, comics, drinking, drums, first-person shooters, football, fantasy football, gojira, votive candles, hunter s. thompson, japan, the mighty fugu, military history, mythology, natasha lyonne, native american mythology, phoebe, philip k dick, samurai, screaming at the television, severe weather, sherlock holmes, mongols, sonny chiba, trivia, winona ryder

I'd like to meet:

Five stylish, homosexual men who will make me over.
..
adopt your own virtual pet!

Music:

refused, white stripes, cap'n jazz, texas is the reason, smashing pumpkins, dharma boys, the rondelles, rilo kiley

Movies:

adaptation, american beauty, fight club, welcome to the dollhouse, brazil, dogville, Being John Malkovich, The Prestige, Kill Bill

Television:

dead like me, buffy the vampire slayer, FOOTBALL

Books:

moby dick, the sirens of titan, heart of darkness

Heroes:

Chris Knight, Indiana Jones, Joe Namath, Jeffery Skilling

My Blog

MAD MONEY!

I was on Mad Money with Jim Cramer today. I enlightened him to New Jersey's eggplant production capabilities and he blessed my investment idea. My life is now complete.
Posted by Jordan on Wed, 25 Apr 2007 08:41:00 PST

Snowman Firing Squad

You can't see the rifleman we made because he's about twenty yards away behind a fence.
Posted by Jordan on Sat, 10 Feb 2007 07:47:00 PST

Spirit of '77!

I now have 77 friends. I know I can't possibly have that many friends. This means that some of you are ENEMIES! SHOW YOURSELVES NOW, AND FIGHT ME HONORABLY!
Posted by Jordan on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 09:06:00 PST

Our National Bird Should've Been the Turkey

JUNEAU, Alaska - About 10,000 Juneau residents briefly lost power after a bald eagle lugging a deer head crashed into transmission lines.ADVERTISEMENT"You have to live in Alaska to have this kind of o...
Posted by Jordan on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 08:29:00 PST

BEARRRRS IN SPAAAAAACE

Read this, and you can experience part of the joy I experienced: http://www.dreadcentral.com/index.php?name=Reviews&req=s howcontent&id=1019...
Posted by Jordan on Thu, 24 Aug 2006 07:36:00 PST

About My Top 8

You are my top 8... in NO PARTICULAR ORDER. Just be glad you're there. Except for Alyson Hannigan: SHE IS #1. EAT IT, FRIENDS!
Posted by Jordan on Mon, 14 Aug 2006 10:13:00 PST

TERRORISM != PIZZA

"Crushing Hizbollah is not like ordering pizza. It takes time," Brigadier General Yossi Kuperwasser told a news conference in Jerusalem a day after Hizbollah rockets killed 15 Israelis in the deadlies...
Posted by Jordan on Mon, 07 Aug 2006 10:23:00 PST

The Other Jordan Etzel

I think the other Warren MacDonald is a paraplegic mountain climber, if I remember correctly. http://profile.xanga.com/sluttysunglasses
Posted by Jordan on Thu, 04 May 2006 06:48:00 PST

Where General Tso's Chicken Comes From

Last week, or maybe two weeks ago... maybe TWO MINUTES ago, I don't know... Jeff asked me about the origins of General Tso's Chicken. I dug up the old dusty manuscript I keep in a box next to the huma...
Posted by Jordan on Thu, 04 May 2006 06:53:00 PST

Tribute

As some of you know, I drove my old car around without ever getting it inspected. It was supposed to be inspected in October of 2002. I was pulled over several times, approached by a police officer wh...
Posted by Jordan on Wed, 22 Mar 2006 07:54:00 PST