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Traci

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me



About me…Let’s see, I teach Biology to a bunch of under privileged kids who respond to this wealth of knowledge I am fostering upon them with comments like, “I don’t get this shit” “Who fuckin’ cares” and my all time favorite, “Can I go to the restroom?”

My Interests

My ideal job is as an official sponge bath operator for Ralph Fiennes. I keep applying and I think I am making some head-way. His manager has requested all of my personal information and a very nice man visited me and handed me a contract entitled: restraining order, which I am guessing is the "hollywood" way of reserving me for the future job. Meanwhile, to pass the time, I have been writing letters to him. Who says stars are stuck up and not down to earth? Because I have received many awesome letters from his manager stating things like, "Please leave us alone. You are scaring us. The FBI is monitoring your activities. What the hell is wrong with you? At least wash your underwear before you send it to us!" ...With all this positive response I can hardly contain my excitment. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the job will come through for me!

Okay that was a joke, but you have to admit that would be a very cool job,at least for the 1st 24 hours and then I am sure I would start bitching about it, things like, god everytime I wash his body, the sponge becomes lodged within his supple muscles, and everytime he gets out of the bath he wants me to lick him dry as opposed to using a towel... whew, is it just me or did it just get suddenly hot in here?...

If I could come back as anything, it would be as this tattoo, of course on David Gehan's body, who deserves to be given a good sponge bath too...

I'd like to meet:



The people I really want to meet will write me messages telling me how much they like my "smile" and send me stolen quotes from Hallmark cards about friendship and coffee mugs. And, yes I do want a free IPOD, in fact I want a million of them, I am going to build a mini-wall of China in my front yard and need all the help I can get, because face it, this is a really lofty goal for myself and there is no I in team, so please keep filling my mailbox with those offers!

Music:


I like all types of music, some better than others. Two of my kids are named after Beatles songs. Not a really big fan of country even though I am from Texas and my father owns horses, it still makes me want to slap people....I figure because I do not own a truck, and still have all my teeth, that perchance it is a failed relation issue. However, my dog did die recently... perhaps there is hope for the near future.

Growing up, I played the violin, but what I really wanted to play was the cello. However, I was exactly 1.9 miles away from the school and had to walk it (no bus for people who lived less than 2 miles), and like hell was I carrying a cello almost 2 miles home. Therefore, I played the violin, but spent my entire career (8 years) staring at the cello section, wishing...So I do not play the violin anymore, instead I prefer to play the chip on my shoulder.

Movies:

I love comedies and action flicks; the cornier the better. I read dramas; I don't prefer to watch them unless certain people are naked in them. My pet peeve: I cannot stand actor masturbation. It is like watching two physicists’ debating derivics. If you find yourself saying, "WOW! That movie has everybody in it!", then fair warning, it is probably actor masturbation.

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Television:

I like the series Ghost Hunters on the SciFi channel. I want them to come to my house not because it is haunted but because during their "debunking" of certain paranormal experiences, they usually fix what ever is causing the problem. I figure this is a cheaper alternative to expensive house repairs. I mean they are plumbers for god-sakes!

Books:

I love books. If you walk through my house, every inch of space is piled high with books. My major problem is that I cannot get rid of any of them, because I will read them again and again. I read ALL the time, however I am not obnoxious about it unless I am almost at the end and you have just asked the dumbest question on earth (which would be anything), then I might bite your head off.
If I could have meet any author it would have been Alexander Dumas. Favorite book is The Counte of Monte Cristo.
I read about 5 books a week and can average a 500 page book in less than 3 hours. No that is not a joke and yes I know I am a dork-save your breathe!

Heroes:

Gyros? I freaking LOVE gyros! I'm sorry, what was the question again?

Oh... She-Ra or Chitara from Thundercats. Imagine my surprise when I grew up and realized that I could not change into anything cool by simply holding a sword up and yelling at the sky.

and

My Blog

Things to remember...

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. For Sale: Parachute. ...
Posted by Traci on Sun, 11 Nov 2007 03:24:00 PST

I wish I was making this up....

Okay, Two weeks ago, I was mowing the lawn.  My husband, trying to be nice, opted to finish the last part for me.  I got off the riding lawn mower and handed him the reins.  H...
Posted by Traci on Sun, 29 Jul 2007 07:27:00 PST