Kevin Kraft profile picture

Kevin Kraft

Give me thrash or give me DEATH!!!!

About Me

Greetings friend! My name is Kevin but people who know me call me Kevin. I have many guilty pleasures including fruity music people would never in a million years guess I'd listen to. I enjoy watching fat people walk and giving myself dutch ovens. I also enjoy being inebriated and being a slouch when I'm not at work. By the way I fucking love my job. I hate onions more then anything on the planet. In case any ladies are wondering, there's nothing sexier then a girl wearing boyshorts. Some people would consider me a dummy. I'm 100% positive that I will die alone

My Interests


Bukkake

I'd like to meet:

A 1963 Audrey Hepburn. The epitamy of sexy!!

WWW.SLOWCHILDRENONLINE.COM

Music:

The 69 Eyes
A Thousand Falling Skies
AC/DC
All Shall Perish
All That Remains
Amon Amarth
Amorphis
As Blood Runs Black
At The Gates
Beastie Boys
Behemoth
Beneath The Massacre
Between The Buried And Me
The Black Dahlia Murder
Black Sabbath
Bleeding Through
Blink 182
Bob Marley
Carcass
Cattle Decapitation
Children of Bodom
Chimaira
CKY
Cradle of Filth
Dark Tranquillity
Death
Decapitated
Deftones
DevilDriver
Dimmu Borgir
DragonForce
Dropkick Murphys
Dry Kill Logic
Echoes of Eternity
Fear Factory
Glass Casket
Heaven Shall Burn
HIM
Himsa
Hypocrisy
ill Nino
In Flames
inRed
Into Eternity
Iron Maiden
Job For A Cowboy
Killswitch Engage
King Diamond
Lacuna Coil
Lamb Of God
Light This City
Mindless Self Indulgence
Motley Crue
The Moxy
Necrophagist
Old Man's Child
Opeth
Ozzy Osbourne
Poison
The Red Chord
Shadows Fall
Soilwork
Strapping Young Lad
Sublime
Through The Eyes Of The Dead
Turbonegro
Type O Negative
Unearth
Van Halen (Only with Lee Roth!)
311
36 Crazyfists

Movies:


Akira
All James Bond movies
American Psycho
Better Off Dead
Big Fish
The Big Lebowski
Caddyshack
Charade
Christmas Vacation
Clerks
Dawn Of The Dead
Day Of The Dead
Death To Smoochy
Detroit Rock City
Die Hard
Donny Darko
Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
Fight Club
The Goonies
Grandma's Boy
Haggard
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle
Hellboy
Ice Age
Jackass The Movie
Little Monsters
Nowhere
Pirates of the Carribean
Private Parts
Revenge of the Nerds
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Saw
Shaun of the Dead
Sin City
Slackers
Spiderman 1,2,3
Star Wars
X-Men 1,2,3

Television:


American Gladiators
Dexter
Everybody Loves Raymond
Family Guy
Invader Zim
Jackass
Lost
Most Extreme Elimination Challenge
My Name Is Earl
The Office
Peep Show
Pimp My Ride
Seinfeld
Simpsons
South Park
Viva La Bam
Weeds
Wildboyz

Books:

The dictionary

Heroes:


Hans Moleman

Jason Lee, Ozzy Osbourne, Kevin Smith, Howard Stern

My Blog

www.slowchildrenonline.com is up!

OK so Dom Viti and I worked our asses off getting up the new site so go check it out. So far we've got a bio section, pictures, and info about slow children. Soon we're gonna have a merchandise page w...
Posted by Kevin Kraft on Tue, 11 Oct 2005 03:26:00 PST

Ugh another fucking birthday

So another birthday has come and gone. and with it comes birthday stunts. So originally my birthday stunt was supposed to be 23 slaps across the face (one for each year.. duh) but unfortunately I got ...
Posted by Kevin Kraft on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

By popular demand. . . THE VEGAS PICS!

OK I finally got around to posting the fucking Vegas pictures. Heres the link Vegas pics Enjoy fuckers!...
Posted by Kevin Kraft on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

My birthday party story

OK so yesterday was my birthday and all I wanted to do was get drunk, skate, and film stunts. I ended up not doing too much skating and I ended up in my basement with like 6 people and a bottle of jac...
Posted by Kevin Kraft on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Lowest point in my life!!!

Tonight I've reached a milestone in my alcoholism. I went to a bowling alley in Dover, NJ on a spur of the moment idea. Fortunately for me they have a bar there that serves jack and cokes for $3.25. S...
Posted by Kevin Kraft on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Square Nothing

OK these are the lyrics of a completely fucking insane In Flames song "Square Nothing". If you've never heard it, download it now and tell me what you think. It's one of my favorite songs of all times...
Posted by Kevin Kraft on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Ever lose a pack of smokes and then do laundry?

Yesterday I got halfway to work before realizing I left my smokes at home so I had to pull over and shell out 6 more dollars I dont have for a 2nd pack. I went on with my day and eventually forgot abo...
Posted by Kevin Kraft on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Interesting day

Well today I got to work and when it was coffee break I realized I had $3 in my wallet and no gas to get home with. But luckily I had my video camera and a shortage of good footage for my next video. ...
Posted by Kevin Kraft on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I am sofa king we todd did

Well as if falling in a sewer wasn't enough, today I crashed my car. My beautiful beautiful car. I was 1 hour and 20 minutes into my morning commute when my hyper ADD kicked in and I got distracted by...
Posted by Kevin Kraft on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I am we todd did

In case everyone forgot, I thought I'd reinforce the fact that I am a total retard. Getting out of my car in the parking lot of my friend Crystals apartment, I fell in a damn sewer. If there's anyone ...
Posted by Kevin Kraft on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST