Will is an astral being made of love, tender vitals, and heroin... oh yeah and he hails from the cosmos. One day in the spring of 1728 there were these sneaky indians sauntering and killing buffalo across the american midwest, somewhere close to what is now known as Waco Texas a baby was found wrapped in mysterious cloth and with a dong the size of five buffalo. This finding has been atributed to the foundation of the religious sect brought to life by David Koresh known as the branch davidians by several sources but those who knew this secret had their houses pillaged and burned by those pesky ATF fuckers.
This baby had uncanny abilities of wit, cunning, and generally fucking shit up (in a good way) and was considered god by the Huichol indians after they killed the indian tribe in possesion of the baby before them At first through their peyote induced hallucinations they saw the baby as a blue deer and didn't really understand why their god was such a meek and bashful creature but later they discovered the truth behind their celestial god... but they still call him a blue deer (crazy fuckin' indians). They nursed the baby by ways of indian breat milk for 43 years although it never aged at all until in 1792 he sprouted an inch or so and progress was made. At this time wolves ravaged through the village and took the baby with them, they rejoiced in common wolf rituals of rejoice while the huichol cried many, many salty tears.
The wolves took the baby to there den to examine his credentials through the art of telepathy. They understood the babies holy power and decided it best to keep him there until he could go out on his own and start holy riots among the creatures of earth. He was in that den through several generation of wolf, many a wolf son and wolf father were killed protecting him, and all this took place over the course of 120 years.
In 1913 the baby, who is now in his preteen years found himself in the middle of New Jersey after traveling a half a year to see where he just so happened to end up, after wondering the streets there for three months he met a shady bus driver that he paid two dollars and seventy-five cents to for a one way trip to Compton which at the time was called Fuck dem Crackas California, (a name change was in order in 1916 because some found this offensive) the teen would frequently give many awesome speeches upon an even more awesome soap box and became one of the influences for the idea of certain gang sects. His business there was nearly done when a man of much trouble and heroin brought himself forth and tryed to assassinate the youth but William stood up punched him once in the throat and twice in the balls and the man fell although the youth realized what powers he actually had and used his cool soul suck technique to squander the little bitch. After this he moved to South Carolina where he would meditate atop Paris Mountain for about 70 years until he reamerged as the son of Jane and Bud and did not please the couple too much and is more then likely responsible for they're recent divorce. In the years spent there he learned a lot about life, love, and what it meant to be human and decided to forfit his powers to what many Christians consider God and this made the holy being ever greatful and that my friends is the story of WILLIAM!
My phone number is (864)-420-6937 for anyone from the US that stumbles on to this site and thinks to themselves "I'd like to talk to this badass motha fucka!" well now you can. Any non US citizen will have to find out the the prefix for US calling.
Did I mention I smoke entirely too much pot?
Move zig
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Demetri Martin
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A.D. 2111
all bases of Cats were destroyed.
It seems to be peaceful.
But it is incorrect.
Cats is still alive.
Zig-01 must fight against Cats again.
And down with them completly!
