What is there to say? I'm irrational, unmotivated, bitter, sarcastic, big and biracial, slightly obese, intimidating, unapproachable, hideous and slightly alcoholic.Create or get your
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
I like weights. You know wher eyou stand with them. Well, sometimes you're lying under them, trying to not let them crush you, but you see, you KNOW they'd crush you if they could. There's honesty.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
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Jack Bauer.
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.
I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
Hollywood is a place where they place you unde rcontract instead of under observation.
Hollywood is a place wher epeople from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Television is mor einteresting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.
The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.