"Though the first half of her life was quite dull, Courtney ended up purchasing a rundown brothel in greater Kiev, Ukraine. Known as 'Golden Girls Parlor,' the small house specialized in Betty White impersonators. Courtneys popularity quickly grew and soon she found herself immersed in wicker furniture, sequined gowns, and Saint Olaf fantasies. After the great cable TV wars of 2024, the Lifetime Network was subsequently shutdown to make way for more 'sassy' and 'politically correct' daytime sitcoms. Betty White, unable to receive profits from reruns, became destitute and in need of shelter, luckily Courtney had an extra room. Together, Courtney and Betty spent their days baking anchor shaped cookies they would send to single sailors and needle pointing sweater vests covered in seahorses and owls. Courtney was thankful for being a friend, traveling down the road and back again, because her heart was true, she was a pal and confidant."
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