Greetings fellow carbon dioxide emitting life forms. My name is Sarah and I am currently seeking companionship of the male variety. Preferably the human male variety.
I'd like to take the time now to tell you a little bit about me. I'm 22 years old (that's 22 in human years), have hair and eyes that are some color. I don't know what color they are because I got one of those fancy digital mirrors and the instructions are in Chinese or Atlantian or something. I'm guessing that they are not plaid. I'm 5'5" tall. Which is a hassle if I want to reach things in high places or slam my head against low door frames. I enjoy building forts out of my couch cushions and plotting the demise of the Canadian government (I hate them so much). I'm not particularly a fan of "going places" and "doing things" or for even "leaving the house" as the outside world scares me due to the many "people" that tend to frequent the areas that are not my house. I only drink socially, but I am under the impression that "socially" means "always" and I smoke, but it's because I set myself on fire to protest the mistreatment of the pygmies by the Roman Empire. I am a full time employee of Enron and invented "The Oak Tree®". I also have super human powers, such as the ability to see double and ramble incoherently for no apparent reason. People say this is because I am an "alcoholic", but I know better so I challenge them to a knife fight and steal their car.
