Bart profile picture

Bart

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

This one time I was walking around and I found an abandoned baseball diamond so I walked over to it and found that in the geometrical center was a strange translucent green stone. When I picked it up I heard a concussive thud and saw a bright flash of light. When I awoke I had green hair, 3 eyes, a large taco salad and no kidneys.

My Interests

Using my powers for evil. Getting as fat as humanly possible. Using concoctions of styrofoam, plastic and Barbeque sauce to focus my angst into Psychic Beams of Utter Devastation(tm). Also Kleptopyrotriscadecanecrobestialityphobia. That's the fear of stealing 13 dead flaming animals and then having sex with every single one of them.

I'd like to meet:

People who like Drum&Bass. People who wear cool pants. People who like Math. Maybe someone in California who isn't a zombie. Naw, maybe that last one is asking too much..... :P

Music:

Well, Drum&Bass for starters. Bandwise: Lunachicks, Jesus Lizard, Radiohead, Ed the Eager Pinecone(best band in history), Drive like Jehu, Kadori, Erykah Badu, Cryptopsy, Napalm Death, Meshuggah, a whole slew of others that I can't think of right now. Oh, and the best CD ever is Sol Niger Within .

Movies:

Oh man. Okay, Aliens, Lost in Translation, Pi, Requiem for a Dream, Blade Runner, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, City of Lost Children, Fight Club, Dark City, The Ring. Final Fantasy (screw the haters!), Unbreakable, Tank Girl, Mulholland Drive, Delicatessen, The Big Lebowski, Amelie, Die Hard, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Run Lola Run, Paths of Glory...actually let's do this a little differently--All these movies are inexcusable garbage: Fear Dot Com, The Core, Magnolia, Pulp Fiction, Bed of Roses, American Pie, Jerry Maguire, anything with Adam Sandler, Windtalkers, Ghost Dog, Dungeons and Dragons, Alien 4(this is especially insulting considering how good all Jeunet's other movies are!) expect many many more on this list

Television:

24, The Daily Show, Family Guy, some stuff on adult swim, Invader Zim, Sifl & Olly

Books:

Anything by William Gibson, Phillip K Dick, Clifford D Simack, hell any golden age sci fi or cyberpunk, Snow Crash!!!!, Eric S Nylund-if you haven't read him you're missing out!, anything by Chuck Palahniuk, Salman Rushdie.

Heroes:

My Cat Mel. I'm not kidding. He's 14 years old, and recently lost his leg to cancer. After 3 days he was tearing around the house just like he did before the surgery. It took that cat 3 days to fully adapt to not having a leg which he had had for 14 years. Whenever I think something's hard I just think about my cat and suddenly none of my problems seem so bad.

My Blog

It's the best, THE BEST I TELL YOU!

Not updating MySpace is the spice of life. And you can quote me on that.
Posted by Bart on Wed, 14 Jun 2006 03:05:00 PST

Stage 1: only the paranoid survive

It's good advice: you should take it to heart.
Posted by Bart on Tue, 06 Dec 2005 09:20:00 PST

Well.

   They've gone and made this pretty motherfucking complicated, hey hey?      *raucous 3-d animated emoticon goes here*
Posted by Bart on Wed, 26 Oct 2005 10:47:00 PST

Please come home

I guess I was already up pretty late as it was, what with it being my girlfriend's birthday and everything. Every year we decide that we're not going to do anything for our birthdays celebration/prese...
Posted by Bart on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

long time, no update

Wow, I haven't updated in a long time. Umm, read this while I think of something more coherent. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------- Today the sky ...
Posted by Bart on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

New Kitten

Nothing fancy about this one. I got a new kitten and he's fucking adorable. His name is Gizmo. Check him out. Cute, huh?...
Posted by Bart on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Does this impulse make any sense?

I miss having friends. What I DON'T miss, is MAKING friends. Hmm. Yeah, it seems that every time I've tried to make friends with someone I have to endure the discouraging aggravation of having ...
Posted by Bart on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

My first encounter with a Mayfly.

Golly, it must have been about 3am, and I was happily propped up on 3 pillows in my fold-out couch bed, reading Midnight's Children with a big smile on my face. I kept rubbing my nose to fight off tha...
Posted by Bart on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

random writing sample

dear got its been a long time since I updated my journal here. Hmm. Well, I dont really have anything interesting to say, so here: read this thing that I wrote a little while ago. Statuesque. ...
Posted by Bart on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Just a normal day at work

Upon hearing animated conversation and a clattering of plastic, I step out of my office. Peeking around the corner I see Kelly, Mimi and Julie standing around the combination Printer/Fax Machine that ...
Posted by Bart on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST