BIRD ATTAAACK! profile picture

BIRD ATTAAACK!

Fuck this...i'm gonna go make a miracle.

About Me

There's one thing you can't lose and it's that feeling. Your pants, your shirt, and your shoes, but not that feeling. You can throw it out in the rain, you can whip it like a dog, you can chop it down like an old dead tree. You can always see it when you're coming into town, once you hang it on the wall you can never take it down. You can pawn your watch and chain but not that feeling. It will always come to find you it will always hear you cry. Cross my wooden leg and i swear on my glass eye. It'll never leave you high and dry, never leave you loose. It's harder to get rid of than tattoos. You can throw it off a bridge, you can lose it in a fire, you can leave it at the altar it will make you out a liar. Fall down in the street, you can leave it in the lurch, you say that it's gospel but i know that it's only church. There's one thing you can't lose, and it's that feeling.

My Interests

FACT:During warm weather hippopotamus's secrete sweat that is pink. This substance not only cools them down but also helps fight infections of the skin.FACT:In one night, an adult hippopotamus eats approximately 150 pounds of grass.FACT:Hippos can live up to 40 years in the wild.FACT:The hippopotamus has the capability to remain underwater for as long as twenty-five minutes.Because the hippopotamus devoured and trampled their crops along the nile, the ancient egyptians saw this creature as a force of destruction and a follower of SETH, the god of chaos, and hunted it from boats with harpoons. Eventually,though,it also came to symbolize fertility and childbirth because of it great rounded belly. Elsewhere in africa,a folktale told how the hippopotamus was created by god to "cut the grass" Because of the heat,the hippopotamus asked if it could stay in the water by day and cut grass at night. Although god was afraid that the hippo would eat the fish in the riner, he agreed, The hippo,however,was true to its word and only ate the vegetation.

I'd like to meet:

Stattler and Waldorf...They sound like this. BOOO bbbbboOOOO that was the worst thing i ever heard! it was terrible! horrendous! well it wasn't that bad... oh yeah? there were parts of it i liked oh well i liked a lot of it it was good it was great it was wonderful ah bravo more MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!!!!!

Music:

I like the Supersuckers. And all the other music too.

Movies:

I just watched a movie called "The Promise". It had amazing imagery and was an awesome story. "Hero" is still one of my favourites, along with "House of Flying Daggers"(which might be my all time favourite)and "Barfly" If you are a girl, and we have made out, you have undoubtedly been forced to watch that one with me while i was completely shittered. I'm a fucking idiot man, why am i writing this? If i came across this profile i'd be like "who is this idiot anyway?" Meh.

Television:

Some people say it's not cool to watch tv. This is cool:Pilot-"Emerson high, 1967(?). You were in my class." Woman-"I was your teacher" Pilot-"Miss Fitzhenry?" Woman-"Bugsy (pause for effect) Brrrown"Secret World of Gardens, Oz, Cops, Deadwood, Arrested Development, The Office, The Muppets, and some other shit too.

Books:

There are actually a few in here i haven't read.RUN WITH THE HUNTED, 1962POEMS WRITTEN BEFORE JUMPING OUT OF AN 8 STORY WINDOW, 1968 NOTES OF A DIRTY OLD MAN, 1969 THE DAYS RUN AWAY LIKE WILD HORSES OVER THE HILLS, 1969 -POST OFFICE, 1971 EJACULATIONS, EXHIBITIONS, AND GENERAL TALES OF ORDINARY MADNESSSOUTH OF NORTH, 1973 BURNING IN WATER, DROWNING IN FLAME: SELECTED POEMS 1955-197FACTOTUM, 1975 LOVE IS A DOG FROM HELL, 1977 WOMEN, 1978 PLAY THE PIANO DRUNK/LIKE A PERCUSSION INSTRUMENT/UNTIL THE FINGERS BEGIN TO BLEED A BIT, 1979 HAM ON RYE, 1982 - BRING ME YOUR LOVE, 1983 (with R. Crumb) HOT WATER MUSIC, 1983 THERE'S NO BUSINESS, 1984 (with Robert Crumb)THE MOVIE: BARLY, 1984 (screenplay for the 1987 film, dir. by Barbet Schroeder)YOU GET SO ALONE AT TIMES THAT IT JUST MAKES SENSETHE ROOMINGHOUSE MADRIGALS: EARLY SELECTED POEMS 1946-66, 1988HOLLYWOOD, 1989SEPTUAGENARIAN STEW: STORIES & POEMS, 1990 THE LAST NIGHT OF THE EARTH POEMS, 1992 RUN WITH THE HUNTED: A CHARLES BUKOWSI READER, 1993 SCREAMS FROM THE BALCONY: SELECTED LETTERS 1960-1970, 1993 PULP, 1994 BETTING ON THE MUSE, 1996THE CAPTAIN IS OUT TO LUNCH AND THE SAILORS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE SHIP, 1998 (illustrated by Robert Crumb)OPEN ALL NIGHT: NEW POEMS, 2000 THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN TOWN (that's what it was called wasn't it?...i think that was one of the ones that wasn't 'Black Sparrow Press' ...I think) There are some others i've missed but i mean seriously, the guy is so frikken rad. ok, so i just cut and pasted then went through and deleted the ones i havent read...I'm so smrt. I also like the books "Already Dead" "Whale Music" and pretty much all irvine welsh and tom robbins. Rather obvious selections i know, but i'm a pretty obvious human so there you go.

Heroes:

HANK HEMSTREET...The worlds most heroic hero. Y'know what, GREG HEMSTREET too. I Love that Guy. A herd of antelope A colony or an army of ants A shrewdness of apes A herd or pace of asses A culture of bacteria A cete of badgers A shoal of bass A sleuth or sloth of bears A colony of beavers A swarm, grist or hive of bees A flock, flight, congregation or volery of birds A sedge or siege of bitterns A sounder of boars A herd of buffalo A brace or clash of bucks An army of caterpillars A clowder or clutter of cats A herd or drove of cattle A brood or peep of chickens A clutch or chattering of chicks A bed of clams A quiver of cobras A rag of colts A cover of coots A kine of cows (twelve cows are a flink) A band of coyote A sedge or siege of cranes A float of crocodiles A murder of crows A litter of cubs A herd of curlews A cowardice of curs A herd of deer A pack of dogs A dule of doves A brace, paddling or team of ducks A clutch of eggs A herd of elephants A pod of elephant seals A weaner pod is yearling elephant seals A gang of elks A mob of emus A business or fesnyng of ferrets A charm of finches A school, shoal, run, haul, catch or draught of fish A swarm of flies A skulk or leash of foxes An army or colony of frogs A flock, gaggle or skein (in flight) of geese A cloud or horde of gnats A herd, tribe or trip goats A charm of goldfinches A band of gorillas A leash of greyhounds A down or husk of hares A cast or kettle of hawks A brood of hens A hedge of herons A drift, or parcel of hogs A team, pair or harras of horses A pack, mute or cry of hounds A smack of jellyfish A troop or mob of kangaroos A kindle or litter of kittens An ascension or exaultation of larks A leap (leep) of leopards A pride of lions A plague of locusts A tiding of magpies A sord of mallards A stud of mares A richness of martens A labour of moles A troop of monkeys A barren or span of mules A parliament of owls A yoke, drove, team or herd of oxen A bed of oysters A company of parrots A covey of partridges A muster or ostentation of peacocks A litter of peeps A nest, nide (nye) or bouquet of pheasants A flock or flight of pigeons A litter of pigs A wing or congregation of plovers A string of ponies A pod of porpoises A covey or bevy of quail A nest of rabbits A pack or swarm of rats A rhumba of rattlesnakes An unkindness of ravens A crash or herd of rhinos A bevy of roebucks A building or clamour of rooks A herd or pod of seals A drove or flock of sheep A nest of snakes A walk or wisp of snipe A host of sparrows A dray of squirrels A murmuration of starlings A mustering of storks A flight of swallows A bevy, herd, lamentation or wedge of swans A flock of swifts A sounder or drift of swine A spring of teal A knot of toads A hover of trout A rafter of turkeys A pitying or dule of turtledoves A bale of turtles A pod of walrus A school, gam or pod of whales A nest of vipers A pack or route of wolves A fall of woodcocks A descent of woodpeckers

My Blog

this is wayyyyyy too good for you

"You married?" "No way." "Women?" "Sometimes. But it never lasts." "What's the problem?" "A woman is a full-time job. You have to choose your profession." "I suppose there is an emotional drain." "Phy...
Posted by BIRD ATTAAACK! on Tue, 26 Dec 2006 10:11:00 PST

zebras and tigers are PERFECT

my back hurts.  oh and i was speaking with an old friend who has decided to marry her man.  she said "how's your love life?"  i responded with "need you even ask?"  She said "still...
Posted by BIRD ATTAAACK! on Tue, 26 Dec 2006 09:25:00 PST

mom is crazy, but in a good way

So i was sitting in my spot.  Mom walked into the room.  She was obviously bored so she'd decided to bother me. "what are you doing?" she asked "I'd've thought that obvious"  i put down...
Posted by BIRD ATTAAACK! on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 05:46:00 PST

as it should be

So after spending the morning watching a documentary about the first open heart/bypass surgery i got to thinking about this damn toilet we have and how its been fucked for 2 years.  It suddenly b...
Posted by BIRD ATTAAACK! on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 01:50:00 PST

satan is my co-pilot

It was around 1 pm when he first made himself known.  It began as a little voice in my head saying 'hey, this would be alot more fun if you just had a drink or two in you.'  Mr. voice, ...
Posted by BIRD ATTAAACK! on Mon, 18 Dec 2006 11:15:00 PST

SOPHIE!!!

The universe is conspiring to make me happy.  I woke up, got a glass of water, went outside to a super strong wind, lit a cigarette, looked up in the air and there was sophie.  She was doing...
Posted by BIRD ATTAAACK! on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 01:19:00 PST

so angry

A trip that has never taken longer than 5 hours from start to finish.  Today, 15 hours later, palm desert.  Shit. 
Posted by BIRD ATTAAACK! on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 02:51:00 PST

i so believe in these things now.

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect..http://images.blogthings.com/areyouagoodkisserquiz/ kiss-2.jpg" height="100" width="100">Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it.You have the confiden...
Posted by BIRD ATTAAACK! on Mon, 04 Dec 2006 12:16:00 PST

i am an EMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just caught myself sittin on the crapper, smoking, and singing my heart out through the entire diahrea frenzy that is my life.  i posted the song so you can picture it better.  My great...
Posted by BIRD ATTAAACK! on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 03:08:00 PST

HIPPO!!!

Okay, i normally don't tell people about my birthday, but now that i have a hippo collection, i'm telling everyone. There is a contest involved. You, THE PEOPLE, have until august 26th to complete you...
Posted by BIRD ATTAAACK! on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 05:40:00 PST