Kurt

My name is Kurt. I'm REALLY tuff. When I say I'm really tuff I don't mean I have like big veiny muscles and veins like exploding from my forehead, I mean not that I don't have all that shit. However, when I say tuff, I mean REALLY EXTREMELY FUCKING TUFF. I don't have to be a pussy and walk around fucking beaches with some small muscle shirt to make people think I am tuff. I just fucking live tuff man, it just HAPPENS. Alright, one time I was riding my race camel in the road and these teenagers drove by in this crap wagon and shit. These little fuckers were blasting their god damn Rock and Roll pussy music, and they threw their fucking pussy McDonalds burger wrappers at me. Alright here is where my natural tuffness comes into play. . . I fucking punch the side of their car as they drive by, and the fucking car explodes. Like it doesn't just explode, it fucking self destructs. No fucking shit, and all the kids/bystanders of course die. Check this out though, I don't get fucking touched at all; I am fucking obviously immune to fire. See man. . . it just fucking happens. Alright check this out, one time I was driving in this really shitty part of town and this guy came up and was like, "Hey man Dude hey man dude give me yo car man dude man!". . . Hah, yeah fucking right - I don't think he knows he was talking to the Kurt, so I reminded him, "Excuse me asshole, but in case you aren't aware - you are talking to The Kurt." Alright check this out man, this fucking guy was like, "MAN FUCK YOU!" and he pulled out a gun and put it to my face and shot me in the face. Hah, what a fucking idiot because of course the bullet jsut bounced off my face. That is not the end though, because then I fucking transformed my arm into a rocket launcher and shot the guy in his fucking face and he exploded. I mean, I guess that sums up how fucking incredibly tuff I am. I can't even help it, but it really really fucking rocks.