Santa Claus profile picture

Santa Claus

Open this one in private!

About Me

Well Im certainly not St. Nick or Kris Kringle...because those people are dead. I am the only magical being of Christmas.Only I can survive the attack upon Christmas, Jesus will wither away, and Santa shall reign supreme.By the way...I seem to be getting less and less oreos and more and more sugar cookies...and for god's sake can you start laying out some 2%, Im trying to cut back on my bowl full of Jelly.And Im cool with brown people...no really I am. Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds

My Interests

Elf Husbandry, Sleigh Mechanics, Reindeer inseminations.Douglass fir, noble fir, female fur....hmmm.Stocking Stuffing...

I'd like to meet:

Young ladies who might like to repay me for all those selfless acts of giving.And Madeline...Im finally single, the bitch left me for the Kool Aid Pitcher...he just busted through a wall at the North Pole and scooped her up, I guess she likes men of color.I would also like to meet good lil boys and girls...because they dont exist. Sons of bitch nerve racking children with their letters and they pie in the sky gift lists...How the hell am i supposed to make an xbox 360...All I've got up here is snow and Elves...And seriously now...and I saying this to the mexicans and the blacks...you dont usually have fire places...so dont bar up the windows...how the hell am i supposed to get in...but I do want to thank you for the Colt 45...keeps me warm. Oh, and I cant forget those tamales...keepem commin you lil shiny brown people.Now the whites...you people need to slap your children a few more times...These kids are unruly. Just beatem a little...it never hurt anyone...cept the kid...butif you do it right, they wont remember and no marks will show. .. width="425" height="350" ..

Music:

Good Ole fucking Bing Crosby...that guy taught me everything I know about the Negro.

Movies:

Miracle of 34 st. Elf Bad Santa....ahh...much like my early days.

Television:

I usually watch Hot Spice.

Books:

Truth or Dare was a good read, couldnt put it down actually...well to finish. I go to "the North Pole" a lot...its not what you think...its an elf strip bar... sometimes I go crazy and head into the eggnog room.... well those little bitches...can really shake em. Sometimes some of those girls will pull out your candy cane...and well...you know the story.put it this way...a creature was stirring....

I edited my profile with Thomas’ Myspace Editor V3.6 !

Heroes:

Easter Bunny, Jack Frost (for helping me through those curious college years), Cupid (that guy gets laid more then anybody), Mother Goose, bitch doesnt even exist yet she gets credit for all these stories...thats some good shit.

My Blog

The List is Up (Don't get pissy)

I tried to weed out the underage ones, the ones with fake pics, and the ones I would fuck with rudolph's dick.If you didnt make it, perhaps its your pics...With LoveSanta
Posted by Santa Claus on Fri, 01 Dec 2006 09:44:00 PST

New Dirty Song

Anger Bang (to the tune of let it snow) by Santa Claus. the kama sutra is so insightful but it doesnt cover sex thats spiteful. just a grab a bitch you cant tame, anger bang, anger bang, anger bang. o...
Posted by Santa Claus on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 02:49:00 PST

Santa's Dirty Songs and Poems

here cums santa claus. here comes santa claus. right on lois lane, while superman and all his muscles watch in krypotonite chains we are swingin, lois is singing, her walls are hairless and tight....
Posted by Santa Claus on Wed, 25 Oct 2006 08:57:00 PST

Santa Survey

THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY. (lets see if you can get through it. if not, you're too scared about your past) -Longest relationship: 382 years...2 months of it good. -Shortest relationship? .000038 seco...
Posted by Santa Claus on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 07:13:00 PST

An intimate letter to Judge Judy.

Ill never forget that day when I slipped my whole hand into your chambers. We banged away like a gavel in a courtroom full of people with tourettes. You sank to your knees and examined my briefs with ...
Posted by Santa Claus on Wed, 27 Sep 2006 02:53:00 PST

Its been months.

I figure I should let you know what has been happening with the Big S.C.Let me tell you what "Santa" means. No, its not the male version of Fanta, although I did ball out Kiki on a surfboard. But that...
Posted by Santa Claus on Thu, 27 Apr 2006 09:24:00 PST

A quiz I answered.

Santa has never done one of these. And since in the offseason ive started hooking, it seems right. 1.) how many times a day would you kiss me? Never, The kissing is fo...
Posted by Santa Claus on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 05:10:00 PST

what im doing now?

Ive gotten the question more then once...so I guess Ill spell it out...this is what I do when im not cumming down santa claus lane.the elves are hard at work stealing technology so we can give away th...
Posted by Santa Claus on Sun, 22 Jan 2006 09:42:00 PST

madeline please read

Madeline Please read. a lil backstory for you all. I uhh...well, Ill just come out and say it. i was cheating on Mrs. Claus...she never found out...unless she's reading this, which I doubt because al...
Posted by Santa Claus on Fri, 20 Jan 2006 04:43:00 PST

stocking stufing with the tongue.

For those of you who didnt get  gift from me this year, I present the ultimate gift. for girls its something you can print out and put in your special male friends folder or fridge. for men it is...
Posted by Santa Claus on Thu, 12 Jan 2006 08:08:00 PST