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woodiestephenson

About Me

Writer, third-generation Astros fan, wine connoisseur, billiards enthusiast.New York, New York, City of Dreams

My Interests

Riding slow in my big-body Buick, drunken hi-jinx, time travel, war stories, bringing up the forgotten, poetry, deep space mapping, surfing, drunken freestyles, drinking under freeway overpasses, checkin out local graffiti, hypnotizing girls, jacuzzi hoppin, last call, spanish fly, putting tomato juice in my beer, black-outs, rat races, pig races, beer races, cardboard boxes, dumpster diving, preaching to vagrants, playing weird records, and searching for the secret of life.

I'd like to meet:

Recidivists, vagabonds, miscreants, derelicts, stooges, invalids, dirt-legs, lushes, transients, harlots, charlatans, infidels, tortured artists, and the next messiah.

Music:

Louis Armstrong, Biz Markie, Slick Rick the Ruler, Jawbreaker, Satin Hooks, Lily Allen, Fela, Beulah, The New Pornographers, T.S.O.L., AIH, Crystal Castles, Ra Ra Riot, Arcade Fire, X, Giant Panda, Jedi Mind Tricks, Belle and Sebastian, TCQ, Artie Shaw and Helen Forest, Bar Kays, Of Montreal, Operation Ivy, Captian Beefheart, Screeching Weasel, Beatnik Termites, Loveage, Gang of Four, Iron and Wine, Bloc Party, The Ne'er Do Wells, MIA, Del, Eyedea and Ability, Necro, Ol Dirty Bastard, Consequence, VHS or BETA, Spoon,+ Drum and Bass, dubstep, booty rap, breakbeats, and whatever Chunky P Dog is on!

Movies:

Better Off Dead, Caligula, Time of the Gypsies, F for Fake, Sweet and Lowdown, City of God, The Jerk, Deer Hunter, The Fountain, O.C. and Stiggs, I Stand Alone, Irreversible, Tree's Lounge, Darjeeling Limited, Storytelling, Chariots of the Gods, Shakes the Clown, Barfly, Howard the Duck, The Gate, Dreamers, 7 Samurai, 2046, Palidromes, Chinatown, Donnie Darko, Fight Club, Anything Else, Lady from Shanghai, The Secret of Nihm, Wet Hot American Summer, Manhattan, Annie Hall, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Bringing Out the Dead, Buffalo '66, Critters I & II, Ghoulies II, Life Aquatic, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, Grandma's Boy, Mel Brooks joints, Richard Prior and Gene Wilder films, John Candy movies, film noir...

Television:

THE WIRE!I have participated in a televsion show as a host, actor, producer, and drunk.TV Party Tonight--Lifestyles of the Drunk and Disorderly.Episode I - Jacuzzi Hoppin'Episode III - Urban Camping .. width="425" height="350" ..BIKE JOUST ..

Books:

Franny and Zooey, Desolation Angels, Hocus Pocus, Maggie Cassidy, The Long Debut of Louis Taggart, Ham On Rye, Faust, The Divine Comedy, Illywacker, In Perrsuation Nation, Whiteboy Shuffle, Look Homeward Angel, Absalom, Absalom!, Fight Club, Slaughterhouse 5, Lullaby, The First Century, Women, North of No South, Naked, Civil-War Land in Bad Decline, Pastoralia, Genesis Revisited, The Symposium, The Phaedrus, The Republic------------------ Authors: Plato, Jerry Salinger, Hank Bukowski, Paul Beatty, George Saunders, Iceberg Slim, Jeff Eugenides, G.G. Marques, Peter Carey, Vonnegut, Larry McMurtry, Donald Giones, Jack Kerouac, Dave Sedaris, and Raymond Carver. Poets: Ovidious Naso, Robert Hass, Ginsberg, Rimbaud, Dante, Corso, Blake, Roethke, Gary Snyder, William Carlos Williams, Rainer Marie, Rilke, Robyn Davidson, CL Bledsoe, Tracy Lyall, and Kerouac.

Heroes:

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My Blog

LINE BREAKS

Up until who-knows-when watching amateur youporn videos drinking pink champagne like there’s some kind of party-- (and what’s up with these line breaks, I didn’t order any line break...
Posted by ********************************************** on Mon, 24 Mar 2008 01:29:00 PST

Perfection

SHAM was on top of the world as he stepped down from the rooftop of the idle boxcar, backpack slung over shoulder, hands draped in a caleidescope of freshly-dried aerosol paints. It was October. He sl...
Posted by ********************************************** on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 03:20:00 PST

3 for C.

BIRDS OF PREY   Nets and nets of your sweet hair Tangling around me, We rode torrents of passion By the dim lights of fleeting night.   Your gasps and whispers, A demure nocturne We brace...
Posted by ********************************************** on Tue, 06 Nov 2007 03:54:00 PST

Short Story: TURTLE SOUP

Foreword: This story was inspired by a vacation I took in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Florida with Matt, Erin, and Elisa. We visited a real wildlife ...
Posted by ********************************************** on Mon, 15 Oct 2007 03:34:00 PST

A question for my fellow Houstonians: Why do you hate Dallas?

"I'm going to Dallas this week," I tell a good friend who knows me well. "But I thought you hated Dallas?" they ask me. "I do," I respond, "but I've never even been before." This exchange started me t...
Posted by ********************************************** on Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:54:00 PST

Recently Published

I have a short story, "That Thing," in the special Labor Day issue of Ghoti Magazine. Find out why Jersey Black bit off a woman's nipple and swallowed it. http://www.ghotimag.com/labor%20day%20co...
Posted by ********************************************** on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 12:09:00 PST

A few words about the Rice Village:

Morningside   "You're amazing."     She must have said it a million times, but I never believed it like I was supposed to.   She looked beyond gorgeous In her oriental dress, H...
Posted by ********************************************** on Tue, 17 Jul 2007 02:13:00 PST

Found Poem

As posted on CL:   Missed connections-- How did I end up here? Woman for Man.   Hopelessly in love with you and completely unable to change it. To be honest, I don't even want to.   I c...
Posted by ********************************************** on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 03:13:00 PST

Chateau Kilo: Something About the Wind

This would be about Chapter 29 for those of you who have kept up . . .   As told by Jamie   One day I had perhaps come to terms with exactly how asinine Rambunk was. It struck me that ...
Posted by ********************************************** on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 03:49:00 PST

Emphysema

My throat is a fire pit, Fuming charred ashes and stale smoke. I lean over the toilet seat And a Christmas cookie jumps out of my throat.   There was this time When I smoked Newport cigarettes f...
Posted by ********************************************** on Sun, 08 Jul 2007 12:30:00 PST