B-jam! profile picture

B-jam!

I pet falcons and feed sharks in outerspace

About Me

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Disco

alien lizard tall skinny radio controlled heckler. Stand-up comedy, acting and motivational speaking. I want to travel the world in an invisible business wetsuit searching for unique investment opportunities and professional relationships with CEO's...plus fire!!!!!!!!!

My Interests

Dancing, all varieties of fire, the Nintendo Powerpad, sneak attack water balloons, A.W. Merrick's soul, breakdancing to opera music, throwing vegetable hot dogs at pedestrians, acting (theater and tv), Sweden, Paris, London, Egypt, India, Ireland, Barbados, clean sewers, yoga on powerpoles, bodyboarding, skydiving, skating, fishboarding, comedy, kitesurfing, making tv shows. Toys for goblins! yeah! yay!

I'd like to meet:

a zombie who will solve all lifes mysteries then only utter the answers to tide-pool sealife, a sporker, the heavens gate cult creator! someone who realizes that right before a shark bites your leg off, dance a little and do some gnarley moves with it cause your never gonna get to use it again in a couple of seconds. And any person who feels extreme energy roaring through their veins!!!!!!!!

Music:

Chemical Brothers, Justice, Van She Tech, Daft Punk, Benassi Bloc Party, Beck, Digital Underground, Motion Man, Weird Al, They Might Be Giants, Mys,tikal, Mustard Plug, Catch 22, Electric Six, Fantastic Planet, Ska, P-Funk, New Order, Depeche Mode, Oingo Boingo, Gary Numan, DEVO, The Aquabats, Trans X, Pat Benatar, Barrington Levy, Dizzee Rascal, Wiley, The Pharcyde, Del tha funky homosapien, Old Dirty Bastard, Bootsy Collins, Fishbone, The Faint, Harvey Danger, Reel Big Fish, uhh freaking GWAR! and the Bloodsport fight to survive song! Kumite, kumite! and the sounds my typewriter makes when im adding up the megabills that my 180 degree amigos owe me when they bet against my trust-funds, i'll swim those things through asteroid surf to an increase! ... yeah for kids and fun yeah! wooooh! I love Fisher-Price!!!!!

Movies:

Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure, Grandma's Boy, Superbad, Benchwarmers, Billy Madison, Sky High, Drop Dead Fred, Black Sheep, Dumb and Dumber, Master of the Flying Guillotine, Scream, Mousehunt, Used Cars, Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo, Fight Club, Sidekicks, national lampoons Loaded Weapon, Hot Shots Part Deux, anything involving OBE's (out of body experiences) and the B-movie late night HBO pseudo porn i was in when i was 12 called HotLine and Zoolanders silly to watch on Venus! VENUS!!! tickle tickle! yeah!

Television:

The Randumb Show! Walk Smart! Nuff Said!!! (99-00), The Robby Mooring Show, Presto! Magic Show,The Al Swearengen Happy Hour.., i mean Deadwood! The Jeff Corwin Experience! MXC and the original version called Takeshi's Castle! Californication, The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Invader ZIM, Arrested Development, Curb, Xena: Warrior Princess, AFV of freakin course! American Gladiators was epic and rugged!

Books:

Green Pants with Nobody Inside Them by Dr. Seuss, Under the Black Flag, Adventures of Mr. Toad, Being Peace, Fire your sweat-shop workers for no reason and get off on it! by CEO B. Foy, Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potters, Im on fire watch me burn by James Lloyd, Drive your car off a cliff with a whole bunch of poorly paid gents in the back then when its going down jump out and hang glide to safety to watch the wreckage from the air and hum the theme song to M*A*S*H while cross breeding it with the theme song to Mr. Belvadere to make some hybrid club hit and sell it in Seoul for Korean kids to Yeah! too! Its all energy!

Heroes:

scotty too hotty, Guy Le Douche, Gary Busey, J.B. Lloyd, HECKLERS, Earth Worm Jim, Nick Nolte, Endless-Mike, Artie and Little Pete, Gob, Statler and Waldorf, Fred and George Weasley, Reggie Miller, Al Swearengen, Salacious B. Crumb, Stephen Jackson, Ricky Davis, Greg Ostertag and Devean George aka The Creator, Dhalsim (Yoga flame!) and Brian Schroer, Hawkeo

My Blog

Excriment vs. the X men!

"my excriment is hot dogs! h-o-t-d-o-g-s my excriment is HOT DOGS! H-O-T-D-O-G-S! this my excriment! this my excriment! Theyz fake meat what!? burn your enemies cuz...." -benjamin dale foy...
Posted by B-jam! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Bmans message of the day!

Live with creative fury!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by B-jam! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Dream of a champion!

Haha...this rocks...last night i had a dream that i saved a whole bunch of people in an elevator at a World's Largest Slugs museaum, then I cut my hair short and put on a Christmas sweater and flailed...
Posted by B-jam! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Dreamville!

I had a dream last night that i ate raw Ostrich burgers with a huge bald guy!
Posted by B-jam! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST