The Idiot - ProfilesArchive

About Me

What to say here? Well, I just got back from living in Dallas for almost four years. There, I had a brief stint as a male exotic dancer that ended with a freak sparkler accident during the 'finale' of one of my acts. After the burns healed, I made the natural progression straight into porn. Where I succesfully played an erect penis during a dozen or so films. The most popular of which being "10 inches or less", a real coming of age story about a grocery clerk that finds love and happiness with various lonely women who crave pleasure and attention from him. I went by the name Roc Hardman, and was fairly successful during my stint in pornography. All of this came to an end, though, during the great Porn Industry HIV breakout of early 2005. Of which, thankfully, I escaped unscathed . . . Also, I am single for the first time in as long as I can remember and I have found: that I like drinking my weight in whiskey and hitting on middle aged women that weigh around 300 pounds, dominating a dance flow, the smurfs, riverdancing across a bar top in my boxers, inappropriate touching, asking gay men if my ass would be categorized as 'scrumptious' or 'delicious', making fun of people that pronouce the word supposedly with a 'b' or 'v' sound in the middle, women with no inhibitions or tanlines (just kidding . . tan lines are acceptable) and touching myself while thing about Rachael McAdams (or just touching myself in general)
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My Interests

writing, reading, music, the glorification of morons in today's society, truth, politics

I'd like to meet:

Behind me is a 29 year wake of penicillian shots and Valtrex. I would like to meet someone with a lifetime supply of condoms.

Music:

Preface: I like anything that you can actually feel. If you know of someone I have not put on here, let me know. Here we go - Jimi Hendrix, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Aretha, Billie Holiday, Marvin Gaye, Al Green, Willie Parker, Bo Diddley, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, The Doors, Black Flag, The Ramones, Circle Jerks, Dead Kennedys, Janis Joplin, Violent Femmes, Luda, Rollins Band, Radiohead, Black Sheep, Gravity Kills, Foo Fighters, Local H, Remy Zero, God Lives Underwater, Eagles of Death Metal, NIN, Chevelle, Tool, Self, Outkast, Interpol, Audioslave, A Perfect Circle, Cold-this band kicks ass, Korn, The Roots, Stabbing Westward, Oleander, REM, Bloodhound Gang, Loudmouth, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Eels, Toadies, Burden Brothers, massive Attack, Serge Gainsbourg, Sneaker Pimps, K's Choice, Jimmie's Chicken Shack, Smashing Pumpkins, Flick, Orgy-old stuff, Nirvana, The Amps, hed, Our Lady Peace-old, nil8, STP, Sevendust, Fragile Porcelain Mice, Big Wreck, Soul Kiss, Pixies, Poe, Fiona, Jill Scott, Finger Eleven, Bellyfeel, Placebo, Dre, Beck-early, Beastie Boys, Rage Against the Machine, the White Stripes, Public Enemy, EPMD, Staind, Slick Rick, Kalai, Mofro, Downlo

Movies:

â€œAnd Shepherds we shall be. For thee, my Lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to thee, And teeming with souls shall it ever be. In Nomini Patri, Et Fili, Et Spiritu Sancti. Amen.â€ -Boondock Saints-"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Television:

Is pixels, light and electronics working together to form Paris Hilton.

Books:

Green Eggs and Ham * Jack and Jill * The Childrenâ€™s Bible with Pop up Jesus * Dear God, Are you there? Itâ€™s me Margaret * Superfudge * Otherwise known as Shiela the Great * The Little Engine that Could * Pop-up books * Lists of peoples interests * Lists of potential list topics * Lists of lists

Heroes:

Anyone participating in the Special Olympics. No matter what mood you are in you can always laugh at the waterhead doing the high jump.

My Blog

Understanding the Unthinkable

I'll be all that's bad and you can be all that's good. Friday night I went to a Martini bar with Julie. I'm not a big fan of Martini bars, every time I walk into one I feel like ...
Posted by The Idiot on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 11:51:00 PST

A Story Of Someone Who Believed In All Of Us

Love heals the wounds you can't see, love protects us from hate and love can save even the lowliest of man..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> Walkin...
Posted by The Idiot on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 01:05:00 PST

Men vs. Women: A Night Out With The Girls

A conversation between God and St. Peter on November 3, 2004, at the entrance to the gates of heaven:..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> God, "So, umm . . ...
Posted by The Idiot on Sun, 28 Oct 2007 02:31:00 PST

Debauchery on a Porn-Like Level . . . Pt. 2 (The Final Idiocy)

Hello Children. This blog is brought to you by the letter 'J'. The letter 'J', as in Jager. Remember kids, Jager is the root of everything that is evil. Jager magically makes o...
Posted by The Idiot on Sun, 21 Oct 2007 12:58:00 PST

Debauchery on a Porn-Like Level . . . Pt. 1

I should start this by saying that I wrote most of this on Friday and haven't been able to get back to it until now. ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> &n...
Posted by The Idiot on Tue, 16 Oct 2007 08:30:00 PST

Music That Rocks My Face Off . . Pt.2 (The Final Installment)

Hey Bono, free punch in the nose. Over here, buddy...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> This is a continuation of 30, or so, select albums that I woul...
Posted by The Idiot on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 07:49:00 PST

Music That Rocks My Face Off

Achtung this, motherfucker!!Julie grabbed my IPod the other night and exclaimed with an almost orgasmic delight, "OH MY GOD!! How many songs do you have in here?!" I responded, "Over three thousand.""...
Posted by The Idiot on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 11:15:00 PST

One Last Chance?

I know, I know, cultivated misanthropic maladjustment. At twenty-nine I can say that almost every step I have taken in my life has been to avoid any feeling of finality. I look at those...
Posted by The Idiot on Sat, 29 Sep 2007 11:50:00 PST

In Todays News

I liked you better when your nose was bigger, your lips were thinner and your breasts were smaller. * I want to thank everyone who has subscribed to my blog in the last week or so, and of cour...
Posted by The Idiot on Sun, 23 Sep 2007 12:51:00 PST

First Dates

I can't see how you got that gerbil up there. Pumping R.E.M. through the IPod, so, in other words, I got the mad-crazy-phat-beats going. OK . . . so I am really wearing black eyeliner, ...
Posted by The Idiot on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 09:38:00 PST