Wheelchair volleyball, swinging on tire swings, and coasting down handicapped ramps with my brakes broken. COOKING.Volleyball, Beach Volleyball, Saltwater Fishing, unhealthy foods, Deep Sea Fishing, Scuba Diving, Spear Fishing, Haggling, Shooting shotguns, shooting any guns.... and off roading/mudding. Big trucks, Al Capone, poor eating habits, bad art, beaches, bronze penguins, coral reefs, Dr. Mario, golden bicycles, palm trees, ramen noodles, sail boats, stealing souls, super nintendo, surfing, useless languages, and wasting a college education.
Everything and anything about the beach, Drinking mojitos, Crossword puzzles, picking wedgies, making people blush.
Sitting outside with a beer in my hand and a stogie in the other watching people and the sun go by.
I'd like to meet:
People who can actually pass a sobriety test.
People who want to give me money for nothing at all.
Albert Einstein, only because I would want to put cornrows in his hair. A frog with 2 legs. A man who can crack me up, take care of me when I don't feel well, order for me when we go to restaurants, who knows when I want to leave without me having to say anything, and someone who is not obsessed with looking at my ass. A monkey in a clown suit. A cow picking his nose. A nymphomaniac with no legs or arms. Tall skinny country boys with big trucks and a boat who has yellow fever. Little people in the porn industry. Nick Swardson. RODRIGO SANTORO, I want to do naughty things to him.
Music:
The Harlem Globetrotters theme.... they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.Also the theme to Unsolved Mysteries gives me the willies.Fucking Music Elitists
Movies:
Troop Beverly Hills. Trouble in Little China. Super Troopers. Camelot. Big Business. Ghostbusters. Caddyshack. Pulp Fiction. Reservoir Dogs. Clerks, "She sucked 37 dicks in a row?" Old School. Bridget Jone's Diary. Kids. American History X. Annie. Monsters Inc. Slum of Beverly Hills. Spies like Us. Boondock Saints. Heathers. About a Boy. Love Actually. 12 Monkeys. The Big Lebowski. Donnie Darko. Harold and Maude. Welcome to the Dollhouse. Fletch. Kung Fu Hustle. Little Man Tate.
Tombstone. A Clockwork Orange. 40-year old Virgin. Full Metal Jacket. Office Space. Seven. Fight Club. The Princess Bride. Joe Dirt. Fight Club. The Goonies. Ghost World. The Royal Tenenbaums. Are you actually reading this? Here is a test... Cock-jammed Co-eds 3. Blazing Saddles. Being John Malkovich. Trainspotting. Sunset Boulevard. Hairspray. About Schmidt. Spellbound. Lost in Translation. Eternal Sunshine. Borat. Da Ali G movie. GRANDMAS BOY!!ALL TIME FAVORITE= Captain Ron.
Television:
Seinfeld. Curb your Enthusiasm. Family Guy. Reno 911!. Insomniac. The Nanny. Golden Girls. Da Ali G Show. Kids in the Hall. Best Week Ever. Night Court. Jeopardy. Strangers with Candy.
Books:
I consume books like food.
I read alot of historical stuff..
Mostly non-fiction. Fiction gives me gas.
Heroes:
The guy who invented the machine which puts sticks in the corn dogs. Not you. Bridget Jones.
