Kimbe

I was born on the Eve of the Hallows 700 years ago in the year 1305 in fuedal England. Because of the unholiness of the day, my parents tossed me out into the plague heap the next morning as if I were dead. Luckily, because of my birthday, I had the special power of raising the dead, so I raised all the plague ridden corpses and had them eat my parents alive. Before you ask, no, I don't feel any remorse. After the Zombies devoured my parents, I laid all of them back to rest except for 3. Achlesties, Theotildra, Jose Juan Carlos Irnesto, and I all proceeded to cross the atlantic ocean to the United States. I didn't have a boat, but since my zombie friends were already dead anyways, I tied the three of them together and built a sail and charted my way across the ocean on the backs of the damned. Once we reached the United States, after a brief battle with Dyssentery, I quickly picked up habitation in Boston. Shortly after, however, I discovered that the town was completely devoid of interest and decided to move west in search of Gold. Unfortunatly, the California Gold Rush was not scheduled for another 3 or 4 hundred years. So I befriended some local natives, ate tons of Peyote, and lived the most enjoyable part of my entire life. I had intense skill at Buffalo hunt, so they made me god of the Buffalo. That is why some of you may know me as "Kim, God of the Buffalo". I was not subject to the female gender I was so powerful. After the arrival of my personal arch enemy Christopher Columbus and his other lame European friends, the Buffalo began to die out and they stopped worshipping me. I had to move on. Finally, after a couple hundred years, I made it to California and began my career as a Gold Miner. I mentioned my dead raising powers, but I did not mention my metal detecting powers. I have them. So, because of my powers once again, I triumphed at the art of Gold Mining. I found about 10,000,000 dollars worth of Gold. The miners made me a God too. That's why others of you know me as "Kim, God of the Gold". They also gave me the joy of the masculine form. They wrote songs about me, and danced their jigs to my health. But after a while I had to move on. I was really tired because I hadn't slept in about 500 years, so I took a nap...and then 200 years later in 1985 I woke back up. That's why everyone thinks I'm only 19. But, this is all true. I have these powers and I am considered a God by at least two cultures. So beware. Oh, and I can see up your nose. You have a booger.