Well I've already known and loved the sweetest little angel that has walked on this earth, my son Landan. So one day all I want is to see his handsome little face again! Then I will be truly happy.
I made this video with Windows Movie Maker
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Landan was one of the sweetest little guy I've ever met. The passion in his eyes & the love in his heart was amazing. Watching him figure out how to do things on his own was also amazing to watch, he was so so smart for his age. I miss him so much, I can't even describe the pain. A part of me died with him on 11/16/06. Below his is story that you can also read on his memorial myspace page.
Everything started on tuesday November 14th. Landan was acting crabby so my husband (Landans stepfather) put him down for a nap. He only slept about an hour & was still crabby when he got up. He was touching his throat so I asked if his throat hurt and he said yes. He was still acting crabby and tired so I thought he had a cold, I went out to the store and got him some childrens tylonel and motrin. Landan slept in the living room off and on for the rest of the day until I took him to bed in my room around 9:30-10pm. I gave him more motrin at 2am and he woke up at 3am and asked for more juice, then at 6am I woke up, saw his juice was gone, asked if he wanted more and he said yes so I refilled his cup.
At 9am I woke up to find Landan laying on the floor next to my bed covered in, what looked to me, like bruises. I sat up straight in bed and frantically tried to focus my eyes because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I thought he was dead, I was so afraid to touch him. I thought he was going to be cold. Once my eyes focused I saw he was breathing, touched him and felt that he was still warm. I ran to the kitchen where my cell phone was plugged in, I yelled Landans name while I was running to the kitchen so he would stay consious. I called my mom and then 911. When the paramedics arrived they checked his vitals but they knew he was sick so took him out to the ambulence. I remember sitting in the ambulence and asked the driver when we were going to leave, it felt like we sat their forever. We took him to the best hospital in the area, Toledo Childrens Hospital. The last thing Landan said to me while we were in the ER before they took him up to the PICU was "Mama hold me" but I couldn't because they needed to get him up to the PICU as soon as they could. I think I said "It's ok bebe." We followed him up, and I remember my mom asking the doctor on the way up if he was going to be ok, and he said something like "... he's a very sick little boy ..." We waited in the waiting room down the hall from the PICU for about an hour. Before the doctor came down they sent a chaplin in to talk to us, my mom knew then that he was really sick. The PICU doctor came in shortly and told us Landan had bacterial meningitis and it was a 90% mortality rate.
We were finally allowed in to see Landan. We had to be in almost full scrubs. We had to wear masks, gloves, everything. His left foot was completely purple, his back, and nose as well. His other extremities were very splotchy purple. All this was cause by someone called "DIC" which is where the body bleeds and clots at the same time, because he had septicemia. I remember the nurse told us she asked Landan if he wanted to watch cartoons, and Landan said yes so he watched cartoons, but was very out of it. She told us to tell him to go to sleep, my mom (his nana) said "Go to sleep baby", Landan shook his head and said "no." Those were the last words Landan spoke to us. The priest came from our church to preferm the anointing of the sick. This was the first time I cried, Landans dad, the nurse, priest & I were the only ones in the room at this point. If Landan would have survived he would have had several amputations and most likely plastic surgery for his nose. But selfishly we would have taken him any way we could just to have him here with us.
The PICU doctor told us we needed to consider hyperbaric chamber treatments if Landan had a possibility of surviving.Landan fought for 23hrs at the hospital induring three hyperbaric chamber treatments. It was downstairs for 2hrs in the chamber, upstairs in the PICU for an hour, then back down to the chamber. The treatments were helping to bring back color to the purple areas, because it forces oxygen into the blood and tissues. The PICU doctor said it was a miracle he lasted as long as he did, thats why our hopes here high.
Landans little heart of gold finally couldn't take anymore and he went into cardiac arrest. We watched them doing chest compressions and then the doctor told us he was gone.
It happend so fast. I stepped out of the PICU for a minute to take a phont call & update my friend because his blood pressure had just went back up. My dad & step mom came running out and told me I need to get back into the PICU right away. I asked my dad as we were walking back in what happend and he told me Landans heart had stopped and they were doing chest compressions. Like I said we watched the whole thing, I'll never forget that for the rest of my life. We got to hold Landan for 5hours after he was gone. They finally told us it was time to go, I think they know we would have never left. I dont think anyone is ever ready to say goodbye to their child. Landan died on thursday November 16th.
My baby was laid to rest on tues November 21st, which is exactly a month to the day that he was a ring bearer, and walked me down the aisle in my wedding. I still can't believe his gone (and it's been almost 8 months at this point.) I wish I would have taken him to the hospital the night before but I thought he just had a cold. I miss him so much and wish I could still recieve his hugs and kisses.
I think Im still in shock. When the doctor told me he was gone I couldn't even cry at that moment. I remember thinking in my head that this can't be real. I didn't cry until I held my bebe in my arms. I feel so alone without him, I just dont know what to do. I prayed everynight that God would take me before Landan. I even prayed the night he first was sick that he would feel better in the morning. Im not really mad at God, but I just dont understand, I unselfishly prayed every night to keep my baby safe. I loved Landan so much! I dont understand why God would take him from a mother that always loved him. Im just frustrated and scared. I just wish I knew how long I will have to suffer in this life without him.
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♥Pink
♥Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
♥Kid Rock
♥Fuel
♥Chris Daughtry
♥Taylor Hicks
♥Papa Roach
♥Saving Jane
♥Nick Lachey
♥Ashley Parker Angel
♥Ty Stone (Check him out!)
♥Sicks Deep
♥Mary J Bleige
♥Nickleback
♥Anything 80's
♥The Verve Pipe
♥Good Charolotte
♥Stained
♥Seether
♥Usher
♥Neyo
♥Avant
♥Mariah
♥P Diddy
♥Nelly
♥Mario Vazquez
♥Avril Lavigne
♥I'll add more later!
Kid effin Rock baby! I saw him in concert May 10th!
♥A Baby Story
♥Maternity Ward
♥Birth Day
♥Ghost Hunters
♥Extream Home Makeover
♥American Idol
♥Greys Anatomy
♥Animal Precinct
♥Animal Cops
♥Real World
♥Real World/Road Rules Challanges
♥House Hunters
♥The First 48
♥Miami Ink
♥Inked
♥ER
♥ Greys Anatomy
♥Cops
♥Dog The Bounty Hunter
♥Paramedics
♥Trama:Life In The ER
♥Real Sex (on HBO)
♥Spongebob Squarepants (with my son)
♥Rollie Pollie Ollie (with my son)
♥Wonder Pets (with my son)
♥Lazy Town (with my son)
♥Etc
..
♥Amittyville
♥An American Haunting
♥Andersonville
♥Batman Begins
♥Beaches
♥Chicago
♥Cold Mountain
♥Dirty Dancing
♥Enough
♥Grease
♥Harry Potter
♥Holes
♥Independance Day
♥Little Mermaid
♥Little Monsters
♥LOTR
♥Monster
♥Monsters Inc
♥Radio
♥Remember The Titans
♥Signs
♥Silent Hill
♥The Day After Tomorrow
♥The Great Outdoors
♥The Notebook
♥The Terminal
♥Toy Story I & II
♥Uncle Buck
♥War Of The Worlds
♥What Lies Beneath
♥The Lake House
MY SON LANDAN WHO HAD THE COURAGE TO FIGHT FOR HIS LIFE FOR 23HRS . . . I LOVE & MISS YOU LANDAN!
My brother-in-law, Nick Brady, killed in a car accident.
Sgt. Arthur Mora who fought for Freedom!
FREEDOM IS NEVER FREE!
What I ♥LOVE
♥Landan, my angel
♥Family
♥Andy
♥My friends
♥PYM
♥School
♥Animals
♥The weekends
♥Starbucks Frappacinos
♥Driving around
♥Music
♥Watching TV
♥Going to concerts
♥Kid Rock mmMMmmMm
♥Sunsets
♥Taking Pictures
♥Chatting
♥Going to the Movies
♥America
What I ↓HATE
↓Not having Landan here
↓Stupid people
↓Periods
↓Not having money
↓High School drama
↓Crazy drivers
↓The desert
↓The on-going war
↓MySpace Whores
↓School
↓Drama Queens
↓Pot heads
↓Slow typers
↓Liers
↓Friends that lie
↓Nerds
↓When Andy gets on my nerves
↓Confrontation
↓PDA ewwww