Jet Boy, Jet Screamer - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I shit sunshine and fart rainbows...seriously!

My Interests

Two-headed snakes!

I'd like to meet:

Classy prostitutes...not like the skank that jumped in my car the other night telling me that she'd let me fuck the shit out of her for 30 clams. Seriously, I was hoping that my first encounter with a hooker would be a memorable one...and I guess that's true...it was memorable, but for all the wrong reasons! Long story short kids...when yer behind the wheel...lock yer doors!

Music:

Thin Lizzy...actually, that's not true...I've been listening to THIN FUCKING LIZZY! The fucking part is key as you've got to really drive the point home! I've also still been melting my face to the new Bronx albumâ€”"Three Dead Sisters" is like doing drugs without the drugs! Oh and even though I mised her appearance, Allison Moorer's newest is pretty damn great. I'd love for her to tell me what a jerk I am!

Movies:

Flash Gordon and The Creature from the Black Lagoon. I watched some flick called Hard Candy the other night...and now I hate everyone. Sleepaway Camp still rocks my hole too!

Television:

I just got Tivo...so basically everything that's on.

Books:

I like the kind with words in them and porn-star biographies are always hilarious. By the way, is it just me or is the porno world really strange in the sense that if you are in porn...you're aleady a porn-star. Shouldn't there be like some classification system or something? You should have blown at least X amount of guys to earn your stripes, or had 45 guys bone your butthole before you can say "I'm a porn star!"

Heroes:

Phillip Parris Lynott, Prefontaine, Coop, Ed "Big Daddy" Roth, Richard Sala, basically anyone who has the balls to say, "Fuck you...I'm great!"

My Blog

Pissin' On Yer Parade!

So apparently when St. Patrick's Day falls on a Friday, there's a whole week's worth of parades, drinking, people wearing green, drinking, sodomy, drinking, idiots fighting, needless shamrock-related ...
Posted by The Inventor of Ejacuflave® on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 06:54:00 PST

March New Releases

Wow...It seems I jumped the gun too quickly on two separate occasions! Jesus, I'm starting to feel like I'm back in high school telling Tara Stiles that I swear to her I can last till the second...
Posted by The Inventor of Ejacuflave® on Thu, 09 Mar 2006 04:20:00 PST

February New Releases

Well it's February, a time when you should love the blacks and that special sweetheart of yours. One could throw out the double entendre and say, "fuck em both!" but that wouldn't be very p...
Posted by The Inventor of Ejacuflave® on Tue, 07 Feb 2006 01:33:00 PST

What's new on DVD this January?

2006. A year of infinite possibilities! A year in which I might fall in love...with another psychotic woman! A year in which I might lose the extra 20 pounds that my anorexia tells m...
Posted by The Inventor of Ejacuflave® on Sun, 08 Jan 2006 09:01:00 PST

So you want to pick up a guitar???

Listen kids, it's like this: If you're thinking about picking up a guitar and making some rock music, then you'd better be able to write a song as kick ass as Little Darling by Thin Lizzy!!! If you ca...
Posted by The Inventor of Ejacuflave® on Mon, 26 Dec 2005 06:32:00 PST

Brokeback Mountain

Dictation is being taken by Todd, the brother. Darin shall now impart words here: "I would just like to thank Todd for a bitchin' night of his hospitality and being full of oysters, which is me....
Posted by The Inventor of Ejacuflave® on Sat, 24 Dec 2005 11:01:00 PST

2005: A Year of Change

I was given a nice lunch bag by a friend that kinda looks like a purse. It replaces brown paper bags. I also started using aluminum foil instead of plastic bags to store my carrots and sandwiche...
Posted by The Inventor of Ejacuflave® on Fri, 09 Dec 2005 01:09:00 PST