flossy flossy profile picture

flossy flossy

About Me

roughly 1 out of 5 times when someone says "it's you" i think excitedly, "fitzhume! fitzhume!"

1 out of 7 times when someone says "can do" i think to myself, "can-do, can-do, this guy says the horse can do.." -- but not from the musical, which i've never actually seen. i only know the lullabye version from the 1984 george burns classic "oh, god! you devil". i only know the first verse and chorus, and that's all i care to know.

18
?

My Interests

gags, parades, fun and adventure for love and/or profit. getting there fast, taking it slow, rising to fame, making my escape.
fuel efficient jeeps at low, low prices. taking a leave and roaming the country earning my keep at small roadside diners, ideally next to drive-in movie theaters.
war re-enactments, theme parties, shit bar lounge karaoke, vestibules.

I'd like to meet:

sean connery as played by darrell hammond.
mike collins, eddie izzard.

Music:



bet the hand that your money's on.

Movies:

the imposters!, super troopers, the prestige, stranger than fiction, amelie, me and you and everyone we know, little miss sunshine, secretary, lost in translation, elf, mst3k, walk the line, punch-drunk love, saved, benny and joon, real genius, pcu, battle royale, any zombie flick, the abyss, l.a. story, napoleon dynamite, freejack, how to deal. eddie izzard, steve buscemi, christopher walken, parker posey.

Television:

friday night lights, hiro, lost, top chef, arrested development, quantum leap, conan, colbert, jon, comedians of comedy, greg the bunny, west wing, project runway, trigger happy, family guy, six feet under, ms-cl, qaf, x-men, mst3k. any simpsons episode w ralph wiggum cameo. any cosby episode w theo getting the ill diss.

Books:

uuuuuurp.

Heroes:

grandma murray, sarah vowell, my mom, kristin wiig.

My Blog

nearsightedness

when i was a kid there were two shows you had to turn the channel on before the craptastic theme song infiltrated your brain in a weird body-snatcher way: three's company and re-runs of the brady bun...
Posted by flossy flossy on Sun, 20 Jan 2008 09:08:00 PST

fontage

the commercial for hershey's new "reese's whipps" product shown during tonight's project runway is strikingly similar to the current weight watchers campaign that's plastered all over the redline. i ...
Posted by flossy flossy on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 05:27:00 PST

christmas in the country

- carrying an airhorn with me to go for a run- my mom nicknaming it "the BEARhorn" -- LOL, right?- wearing flourescent orange as it's the last week of deer hunting and "all the idiots will be out"- bi...
Posted by flossy flossy on Sun, 30 Dec 2007 12:02:00 PST

somedays everything is perfect

and sometimes two pigeons fly into your head right in a row. TWO! in a ROW! MERRRRRRRY CHRISTMAS!!i wish i was elizabeth taylor.
Posted by flossy flossy on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 07:20:00 PST

what happens at the free buffet stays at the free buffet.

that is all.
Posted by flossy flossy on Tue, 11 Dec 2007 08:22:00 PST

dc in chronological order

- the back of the white house- karen & the celtics cheerleaders- hanukkah cookies- blowing into a steel rod with 2000 degree glass dripping off it- kielbasa- co-hosting a fabulous party in a city in w...
Posted by flossy flossy on Sun, 09 Dec 2007 03:38:00 PST

correct predictions about a polish funeral

- the sisters kaczynski refusing every possible generosity- great aunt kazsha reminding me how adorable i used to be- baklava- pierogi- pastry outranking non-pastry 100:1- it is very, very important h...
Posted by flossy flossy on Sat, 01 Dec 2007 12:29:00 PST

things i have been called lately

- a "pretty judgey" representative of my company- a natural [boxer]- the best friend a drunk girl could have- funmeister- superboozey (in lieu of fancybrandy)- ma'am- sparkly & bitter- a misplaced chi...
Posted by flossy flossy on Thu, 29 Nov 2007 09:36:00 PST

healthworks

- closed the sauna/whirlpool, the things for which i pay $50 more than i should- my first experience on a treadmill involved a giant glowing-white stella artois billboard proclaiming "perfection has i...
Posted by flossy flossy on Tue, 27 Nov 2007 07:33:00 PST

i am going to rehearse

fa-lump fa-lump fa-lump! cha!
Posted by flossy flossy on Sat, 17 Nov 2007 12:17:00 PST