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Steve the Hot Comedian

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About Me

Steve Hanley: The Mid-Century Modern Man. That's me!

My psychic, the late Yolana Bard, said I was going to be a Big Star in no-time, and I'm the funniest person who's ever walked the planet, so check me out at stevenhanley.com and be the first to say you knew me in the day!

There's an early stand-up comedy video: watch it if you want to hear about my cats. You can read my funny fake news stories there, too, and read the first chapter of my book, "The Legend of Bushistotle: History's Greatest Philosopher-Warrior-King," a great satire about all the lies leading up to pulling into Iraq.

Somebody posted the best review of my book on amazon.com:

I bought this book thinking it would be similar to America according to Jon Stweart. Big Mistake! The first paragraph involving sexual acts with himself bumps this book up to adult only. It's not funny, the fake Italian accent didn't go over well with my Italian ancestry financee, and in short, it is blasphmey and Catholic Bashing. The actual Bush parts are funny, but the book was not worth the unfortunate investment. For example, one chapter had priests in the Vatican engaging in homosexual acts in the bathroom. Reader Be Warned!

Apart from the bad spelling (and why is "Bashing" capitalized?) - I LOVE IT! Hell, I'm gay, Catholic, and Italian, so why shouldn't I?! Plus I've slept with a few priests who worked at the Vatican, so the plot's pretty accurate!

I mean, hell, just read the newspapers: it's not possible to bash the Catholic Church, because they do it all by themselves!

Make sure you run out & buy it now! It's a HOOT!

I hope you watched me this summer on Starz Comedy's "Stand Up or Shut Up!" as one of their featured performers! Starting this fall you'll be able to see me at Caroline's, New York Improv, the Broadway Comedy Club, Joe Franklin's, Stand Up New York, and the Gotham Comedy Club in NYC.

Make sure you check out my VIDEOS !

And oh yeah: spammers and phishers will be reported!

My Interests

Oooooh! I have to have interests? Well, I'm interested in you...

I'd like to meet:

Anybody who likes to laugh! Link to stevenhanley.com .

Lovewise: a cute guy with a great sense of humor. You can email me from MySpace or My Website - isn't that poetic? - and we can talk.

I did used to have an ad on gay.match.com saying that I was interested in anybody between 25 and 65 years old. All the 65-year olds took me seriously, but none of the 25-year olds did. I wonder why? LOL. But heck, I'm absolutely positive some cute young thing out there wants to change that, so I'm planning on holding a Twinkathon at my house sometime soon. Just email me for a personal invitation. Especially if you're in NYC, 'cause I could use a boyfriend right now! Big feet are always a +.

Oh yeah, hablo español e falo português, e parlo anche un po' d'italiano. Capisci?

Check out my Excess Twinkage below. Ain't they HOTTT? Aspiring Twinks into me (or who might like to be) are invited to join my TwinkMart. Applications available in person....

PS: Am I the only one bothered by the fact that it should read, " Whom I'd like to meet"? (Probably.)

Music:

I love all music, from opera to 50 Cent. I had a dream the other day about 50 Cent: they asked him where he got his name from, & he didn't know.

Movies:

X-Men freak, though I didn't like the last one as much. Bette Davis (I'm gay, remember?). Star Wars. Star Trek. Star whatever. Bring on The Borg, I'm ready to be assimilated, resistance is futile. Blah-blah-blah. But Patrick Stewart is cute, don't you think?

Television:

"Everybody Loves Raymond," except the wife is just like my mother, which makes it hard to watch.

Books:

Well of course my own, "The Legend of Bushistotle: History's Greatest Philosopher-Warrior-King." Otherwise, if we have to switch to ersatz, Gore Vidal. Then, mostly heavy stuff like philosophy & psychology, in my never-ending quest to figure out what's wrong with me. :)

Heroes:

Arnold Schwarznegger. Ha-ha-ha! Real answer = Hillary. She's got balls.

My Blog

Alan Keyes Demands Recount

Alan Keyes Demands Recount Springfield, Illinois.  Failed senate candidate Alan Keyes has filed a petition with the Illinois Secretary of State demanding a recount of his failed 2004 US Senate...
Posted by Steve the Hot Comedian on Fri, 06 Apr 2007 11:53:00 PST

Former President Says Frigid Temps a Problem

Former President Says Frigid Temps a Problem New York, New York.  Former president Bill Clinton, known to some as "Bubba" and who has his main offices in Harlem, recently complained that frigi...
Posted by Steve the Hot Comedian on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 11:19:00 PST

Creationist Constitutional Amendment Passes

Creationist Constitutional Amendment Passes Washington, D.C.  In their last act before losing control of Congress to the Democrats, Republicans today overwhelmingly passed a Constitutional ame...
Posted by Steve the Hot Comedian on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 11:11:00 PST

Trent Lott Denies Sodomite Accusation

Trent Lott Denies Sodomite Accusation Salt Lake City, Utah and Washington, D.C.  In an ironic twist of fate, shortly after Senator Trent Lott voted in favor of a constitutional amendment to ba...
Posted by Steve the Hot Comedian on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 11:03:00 PST

Starbucks Outlaws Appellatives

Starbucks Outlaws Appellatives Seattle, Washington.  Howard Schultz, Chairman of the Board of Starbucks Corporation, the international purveyor of overpriced coffee, announced today that Sta...
Posted by Steve the Hot Comedian on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 10:51:00 PST

About Jesus

About Jesus Jesus is busy.  Not just busy, but extremely busy.  Don't believe me?  Then do what I did, flip mindlessly through the cable channels in Lubbock, where you will see that ...
Posted by Steve the Hot Comedian on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 10:17:00 PST

Lesbian Greeting Cards Make a Comeback

Lesbian Greeting Cards Make a Comeback Provincetown, Massachusetts. In a Disclosure Statement submitted to U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Boston in relation to its Chapter 11 filing, Ruby Fruit Greetings, L...
Posted by Steve the Hot Comedian on Sat, 21 Oct 2006 12:42:00 PST

Spitzer: Dr. Scholl Didnt Finish Medical School

Spitzer:  Dr. Scholl Didn't Finish Medical School Albany, New York.  As part of his efforts to clean up business and protect consumers, New York State Attorney General and gubernatorial cand...
Posted by Steve the Hot Comedian on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 08:03:00 PST

Bush Solves Social Security, Exports Seniors

Bush Solves Social Security, Exports Seniors Washington, D.C.  "I don't know why I didn't think of it before!" exclaimed a jubilant President George W. Bush about his newly reworked proposal f...
Posted by Steve the Hot Comedian on Tue, 11 Jul 2006 06:47:00 PST

Ann Coulter Spontaneously Combusts

Ann Coulter Spontaneously CombustsWashington, DC.  In what liberal commentator and comedian Al Franken has called an act of God on par with Moses and the Burning Bush, the Washington, D.C. Corone...
Posted by Steve the Hot Comedian on Fri, 23 Jun 2006 09:10:00 PST