The dangerous temptation of any networking site is to over-utilize the sheer malleability of the "about me" section. Anytime you meet someone new and interesting (read: hot and preferably loose) there's the urge to check their profile and tailor yours as needs be before letting them in on its presence. I know it runs contrary to the "be yourself" philosophy that most espouse, but what if it's not outright lying, just falsity through omission: say, if she's vegan, take down your "Meats of the World" background, or if she has intimacy issues, "fail to mention" that you're obsessive-compulsive and must lick everything within a meter of yourself? Who does it hurt? How often do any of your other friends check your profile anyway? I mean, really the only people who can be completely honest are those with nothing to lose, and raven-haired sexpots fall firmly in the "something to lose" category, in my book.
What you need to overcome this urge is an approach. Something original, something clever, something that gets through to the heart of who you are, regardless of how many sausage-related page decorations you have. Something that paints you in your true colors, particularly neurotic and desperate for approval...I haven't come up with one. But what I can do is list a bunch of facts and observations, and let you decide who you think I am.
1. I'm an aspiring graphic novelist. I take both the "graphic" and "novel" parts of that way too seriously, and compensate by trying to write and draw things people will find funny. Unfortunately what I find funny and what others find funny are often not the same.
2. Meat IS murder. Murder is, unfortunately for you people with "ethics," delicious.
3. Shag carpet feels kinda' funny between your toes.
4. My wife is unfairly attractive pregnant. She doesn't realize this. I don't think any woman does.
5. The coolest dog I've ever known was named Pickle, and she had a lame back leg and looked like the offspring of an Ewok and an Ottoman.
6. I often say "you" in place of "me" when I'm doing observational monologue, as it makes me feel as though my observations apply to someone other than me, and therefore I'm less to blame for them (see above).
7. I'm stunned you're still reading this.
8. Older politically-minded men are hilarious when you get their moral dander up.
9.
10. Spot 9 has been left blank, likely to "throw you off the scent."
11. Robo-Cheney and his PNAC brethren frighten me more than any supervillian coalition in any comic book.
12. Books really are more rewarding than movies or TV, but they take longer to digest so most people just don't bother anymore.
13. Is a good number on the list to stop at, because it shows you don't give a damn and you're out to tempt fate, you rebel you.
14. I'm not nearly cool or hard enough to end on such a number, and really ought to delete the entire entry on the list for safety's sake.
15. Disappointment in our fellow man and inborn faith in humanity rally for position in all of us, but some of us are more susceptible to its swing than others.
16. Nothing's as comforting as old Disney movies when you're sick.
and finally
17. Sometimes, when the sun cuts through the Northwestern gloom, it makes environmentalism and nuclear disarmament seem like very important things
