MRS. DIVATELLI profile picture

MRS. DIVATELLI

ARE YOU ON THE DRUGS?!

About Me

I MARRIED AN ITALIAN JEW ... MOISHE DIVATELLI, GOD REST HIS SOUL ... AND THAT IS WHY I HAVE AN ITALIAN LAST NAME. BUT I AM JEWISH TO THE BONE! AND DON'T GET ANY MESHUGGINAH IDEAS ABOUT ME SAYING "BONE", YA FERSHLUGGINER PERVERTS!!!!
I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN!! MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER OPRAH IS AN ABSOLUTE GEM OF A HUMAN BEING, SHE IS STUDYING ANTI-ENVIRONMENTAL LAW AT OLIVER NORTH UNIVERSITY IN SAN MARINO CALIFORNYAAAA AND WILL BE HELPING PATRIOTIC AMERICAN COMPANIES BE ABLE TO CIRCUMVENT THESE SILLY LAWS THAT THESE TREE HUGGING LIBERALS KEEP POTCHKEYING WITH!! A BROCH TSU LAYBEN, THEY SHOULD DROP DEAD AND ECH HOB DIR IN DRERD!!!! MAKING GOOD COMPANIES WORRY ABOUT WHAT THEY PUT IN THE GODDAMN WATER!! WHAT A WASTE OF TIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!
MY OTHER DAUGHTER REAGAN IS A SECOND LEVEL CLEAR IN THE CULT CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY AND IS ONLY $12,000 AWAY FROM DISCOVERING THE TRUE NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE AND GETTING AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF TOM CRUISE!!!! SUCH A NICE BIY HE IS. AND NOT A FAYGELAH!!!! SO STOP WITH THAT MISHKAYET!!!
MY ELDEST SON BRUCE WORKS ON THE AHHHNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER GOOBERNATORIAL STAFF AND HELPS TO WRITE THE ANTI-FAYGELAH PRO-HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE LEGISLATIONS! HE IS A LEADING CRUSADER IN THE ANTI GAY RIGHTS FIELD AND IS A REAL MENSCH AND A MACHER. HE LIVES WITH HIS VERY CLOSE FRIEND WALTER IN A ONE BEDROOM STUDIO IN NORTH HOLLYWOOD AND BOTH OF THEM ARE SINGLE, LADIES!! NO SHIKSAS!!!!
AND FINALLY MY LAST SON BERNARD IS CURRENTLY IN A REHAB CLINIC RECOVERING FROM EXCESSIVE USE OF THE DRUGSSS. HE WAS FOUND OVERDOSED SNORTING MARIJUANA AND WHEN I FOUND HIM I TOOK HIM HOME AND GAVE HIM A GOOD SCHMICE AND A POSK IN FRISK.

My Interests

I AM CURRENTLY WORKING ON GETTING A GRANT FROM OUR GOVERNMENT THAT WOULD ENCOURAGE CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 18 TO SMOKE!!!! ACCH, WHEN I THINK OF ALL THOSE POOR CHILDREN WHO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL ADULTHOOD BEFORE THEY CAN APPRECIATE THE RICH, COOL FLAVOR OF A WINSTON 100, I GET LACHLUTEN IBBABOODLE IN THE KEPPE OVER HERE.

I'd like to meet:

MEET?! WHAT DO YOU THINK, I AM ON THIS FACHACHTA THING TO HAVE EXTRAMARITAL RELATIONS WITH SOME GOYISHA SCHMUCK AND GET A SOCIAL DISEASE?!?! I AM ON HERE TO MONITOR ALL OF YOU SICK PEOPLE WHO CONSTANTLY SMOKE ECSTASY!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU AAAHHHHHHH!!!!! ACCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!

Music:

OY, DON'T GET ME STARTED, I WAS FUTZING AROUND WITH MY SON'S SERIOUS SATELLITE RADIO OR WHATEVER THE HELL THAT THING IS, AND I TELL YOU IT'S A SHANDA WHAT KIND OF GROYLIKER SHRECHLECH DREK THEY HAVE ON THERE. I DON'T KNOW WHEN THIS GANGSTER RAP STARTED BUT I HAVE JUST HAD ALL I CAN TAKE OF IT BEFORE I PISH MYSELF. WHO TOLD THIS KENYA WEST THAT HE CAN HAVE AN ALBUM WHERE HE TALKS!!!! I MISS THE OLD RAPPERS WHO COULD SING LIKE JOHNNY MATHIS. NOW HE COULD RAP LIKE A SONGBIRD, GEVALD GESHRIGEN. NOT THIS SNOOPY DOG OR WHATEVER THE HELL HIS NAME IS.

Movies:

I AM SORRY, I KNOW IT IS OLD NEWS BUT I AM STILL FRIGGIN' PISSED THAT THEY KEEP MAKING THESE "LORD OF THE RINGS" MOVIES. THERE'S A MILLION MOVIES ABOUT SUPERHEROES, FOR CHRISSAKES. YOU HAD SPIDERMAN, AND FANTASTIC FOUR, AND WHAT IS THAT ONE WITH THAT BIG GREEN YUTZ THROWING TANKS ALL OVER THE DESERT. GENUG SHOYN, ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! WHO NEEDS ANOTHER MOVIE MADE OUT OF A COMIC BOOK WITH THESE LORD OF THE RINGS CRAPPY COMIC BOOK PICTURES. WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE A NICE MOVIE OUT OF A NICE PIECE OF LITERATURE, FOR A CHANGE. WHO WANTS TO SEE THESE MESHUGEDIK ENTS AND ORCS AND RABBITS AND HOBBITS JUMPING AROUND THE SCREEN. AREN'T THERE ANY NICE BOOKS THAT HOLLYWOOD CAN TURN INTO A MOVIE?! AAAAACCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH, MY HEAD IS HURTING!!

Heroes:

OPRAH FRIGGIN' WINDFREY!!!!