*******Update********* I am currently in jail in Colorado, taking some time to work on myself. I am working on my sobriety. I have almost lost my life to drugs, and now I am taking the steps to regain clarity so I can once again prosper. I believe in a greater life, and happiness. I am going through some physical changes as well. I am no longer fixated on what I look like and keepin myself anorexicly thin..I want to be healthy now. I see great things in my future. One thing I long for most is companionship. I want so badly to have someone to share my life with, but if it isn't in the cards. I understand.*****************~~~~AN unchanelled Splurge of fury I lash out upon those who try to play connect the dots with my ever so dying heart, My *luster* is created in a bottle,but yet the sparkle I always add-When making a move,I never think twice and always hope that others think before I leap~If only to avoid my fall,or to protect themselves from my ambition. Intrigued Minds interest me for their dabble in my existance,only mames my insecurity for a second. The completion of my ego is never one that you will see, for that is saved for only me. Tick Tock, my day has begun and with it, your beginning has ended, for you must catch me in the night to ever take me into a day~With this distance I have placed between me and all I know, I can now only wonder who will make steps up a ladder to climb to me?The permanent indentations that were so carelessly left on me by myself have now come to past, the future holds many roads and still a map I am without. An undestructable force I have built around my heart, without me there is no me. To obtain the glorified entrance to a once sought after journey, you must first have a map. In this instance a map would be an understanding of yourself. A trek I am, but a reward I always distribute. I have done all that I wanted, and pushed myself to the far ends of this country and to the breaking points inside my mind. My struggle now becomes self; the constant upkeep and inspiration that I must draw from within excites me. As another chapter has begun, I look to the stars, knowing I am never alone, but content in my loneliness.---Only time will tell the road I travel, my beginnings are never the ends I most desire. The reckless abandon I unleash on myself is only measured in the minds I can touch, hearts are unreachable to me, in the sense that you must believe in something to obtain it.
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