The physics of infinity, Joy Luck Club-Kids, Festivals, Pornography and Photography.Making up my own jokes. Here's a bunch.Either I'm the Devil or all women at the bar are ordained because when I go to talk to them they baptize me with their drinks and tell me "Go To Hell."What Do You Call A Blog Written By Me?An Aar-VentWhere do cavemen go to meet women?ClubbingWhat do you call a mexican gummi bear?A Jelly Beaner.How do you know if your sister is gonna be a lesbian?She forces you to play games of follow the bleeder.How did God create man?Through a "STROKE" of genius.How do dogs keep their breath fresh?They use DoberMints.Where do office supplies get their hair cut?At Paper Clips.Why are there so many bakers in france?Because they're French bred.Why are whales drug dealers favorite mammal?Because they have such big blow holes.How does a man know what words to use to get a woman to sleep with him?He uses his Dicktionary.Why was the woman so happy to see the UPS man?Cuz she saw the size of his package.Why does santa have to wear mittens, even in the summer time?Because he might scratch you with his Claus.What has more carbs, calories and saturated fat than a bag of chips?A couch potato.Where does sammy hagar write most of his songs?In his Rocking Chair, OWWWWW.What destination do lactose intolerant aliens avoid?The Milky Way.What does an internet geek ride to surf the web?A keyboard.What is a sado-masochists favorite holiday?Spanksgiving.What do you call a fascist English Teacher?A Commanist.What's in a highway patrol officers china cabinet?License Plates.How does Barbie swim faster than all the other toys?She uses her doll fins.What kind of Mexican is good at basketball?A jumping beaner.What kind of messages does a chronic masturbator leave?Sticky Notes.Why do Columbian's have so many choking fits?Cuz they drink to much coughy.What does a glass blower bake to make bread?Windough.What happens to a car that stops at a train track?It brakes.What does an Eskimo use to paste two ice blocks together?Iglue. HAHAHAHAHA.How do you stop an ape from playing with himself?You get him a Gorillafriend.Recent news has stated that there is a citrus fruit famine occurring in the United States. The president has responded by launching the Lemon Aid Project.What kind of fruit used to have to rest in a separate bowl?Black Berries.What fruit has a voice like Janis Joplin?Rasp Berries.How much does a pile of bones weigh?A skeleTON.Who is the fastest blackberry user in the west?Tex Message.
I'd like to meet:
All those people I met and forgot and all those people I hardly even know. I'm gonna make a story for all of us.See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die
You scored as absinthe. you are artistic and creative, but a little unstable. you are magical and can have dillusions, and are a little mysterious.
absinthe
75%
midori
71%
vodka
58%
daiquaries
50%
wine
46%
beer
42%
rum
42%
champagne
38%
bourbon
33%
whiskey
29%
what alcoholic drink are you (pictures)
created with QuizFarm.com
Music:
Interpol, Joy Division, New Order, Ulrich Schnauss, The Cure, Visage, Schneider TM, Tristeza, SIANspheric, Yume Bitsu, G.D. Luxxe, The Smiths, The Czars, The Faint, The Rapture, Billy Idol, The Clash, Echo And The Bunnymen, The Go Find, The Wedding Present, Figurine, Megadeth, Deltron, Pharcyde, Muse, Deftones, Severed Heads, The Church, Roxy Music, Brian Eno, Lush, Mazzy Star, Depeche Mode, Nasty Boy Clique, Freak Nasty, Ulrich Schnauss, Animotion, Gary Numan, Compact Draculas, Quasi, Franz Ferdinand, Head Automatica, Primal Scream, Action Action, Alexander Rishaug, Death in Vegas, Daft Punk, Trendroid, Delinquent Habits, 2 Live Crew, Radiohead, Sigur Ros, Underworld, My Robot Friend, Zombie Nation, Skywave, Covenant, Bright Channel, Royksopp, Slowdive, Spiritualized, Mono, THe Pony's, Flunk, Coldplay, Faultline, Broken Social Scene, Fischerspooner, Longwave, M83, Mercury Rev, Heaven 17, When In Rome, Gleeming Spires, Talk Talk, Naked Eyes, Peter Schilling, Til Tuesday, Joe Jackson, Howard Jones, Falco, J. Geils Band, Young M.C., Hammock, Hydroplane, Girlboy Girl, Woven, Memory Boy, Miss Kittin, Missing Pilots, The Meeting Places, Proem, Skanfrom, Black Strobe, April March, zZz, Bloc Party, The Stills, The Pleased, Jane's Addiction
Movies:
Movies Movies Everywhere. Willow, Be Kind Rewind, Requiem For A Dream, BIG, Friday, Great Expectations,The story of us, The Life Of David Gail, Punch Drunk Love, Romeo and Juliette, Harvard Man, Edward Scissor Hands, True Romance, Revenge of the Nerds, Great Expectations, Cruel Intentions, Election, The War, Adaptation, Vanilla Sky, Royal Tenenbaums, Real Genius, Karate Kid I, II, III, Predator I, II, Goonies, Say Anything, The Cure, Losing Isaiah, The Never Ending Story I, II, One Fine Summer, Weird Science, Copland, Mystic River, The Ring (Mainly Naomi Watts), Gleeming the Cube, The Cooler, The Client, The Good Son, Murder in the First, Untamed Heart, Amelie, Invisible World, Dancer in the Dark, 8 days a week, Kick Boxer, Firestorm (ha, howie long), The Last Samurai, Pyromaniac's Love Story, Rocky I, II, III,and IV, Wizard, Little Monsters, Drop Dead Fred, Gremlins I, II, Childs Play I, II, III, GO!!!! Billy Madison, Beverly Hills Ninja, Bean, Big Trouble In Little China, American History X, Boyz N The Hood, Not Without My Daughter, Thank God It's Friday, Cat's Eye, Bacehlor Party, Secret Admirer, Hot Pursuit, Stand By Me, The People Vs. Larry Flynt, The Explorers, Magnolia, The Princes Bride, Help, Hard Days Night, The Red Balloon, Wicked City, Project X, Benny & Joon, The Wild Life, The Crow, Princess Mononoke, Identity, Bright Lights Big City, Teen Wolf, Gothika, Care Bears, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, Leaving Las Vegas, 16 candles, Flirting With Disaster, The Badge, Frankie & Hazel, Pups, Lawn Dogs (The True Mischa Barton), A Bronx Tale, 12 Monkeys, Space Camp, Batteries Not Included, D.A.R.Y.L, The Boy Who Could Fly, The Wanderers, The Warriors, Ghost, Coccoon, Gladiator, Lucas, License To Drive, St. Elmos Fire, Wonderland, Boogie Nights, Psycho, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Weekend At Bernies, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, Fists of Fury, Enter the Dragon, Barry Gordy's Last Dragon, Krush Groove, Dead Presidents, The Inkwell, Swordfish, Pulp Fiction, Kingpin, Roxanne, Chances Are, Always, Heaven Help Us, Rules Of Attraction, 300, Apocalypto
Television:
How It's Made, NinjaWARRIOR CHALLENGE (MENS AND WOMENS), Rad Girls, Pants-Off, Dance-Off, CSI: NY, LV, MIAMI, Jeopardy, Pimp My Ride, Family Guy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Smurfs, Silver Surfer, Perfect Strangers, Dinosaurs, London Live
Books:
Coma, Catcher in the Rye, BRAVE NEW WORLD, The Loved One, A Dirty Job, No Exit, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, The Joy of Sex, A Wrinkle In Time, Immortal Poems of the English Language,The Dictionary and "___________ for DUMMIES"
Heroes:
BRUCE LEE, VANEVAR BUSH, EDGAR ALLAN POE, TODD MC FARLANE, MASTER SHAKE, JAMES CAMPBELL, Anthony Michael Hall, Ned Beatty, Jean Paul Satre, Ray Liotta.
