Evil Fletcher profile picture

Evil Fletcher

I really like beer

About Me

I'm tall, my body is composed mostly of water, I like my fingernails clean and brush my teeth three times a day. I like my music loud and fast, my drinks cold and potent, and my women smart and sassy. I run through sprinklers at night. I'm all business when necessary and a complete jackarse the rest of the time. I can fit my fist in my mouth. When I'm not working my crappy job, I'm playing drums in a band that will kick your ass. Brief enough? Address all questions directly to me NOW. Hurry up. C'mon, time's a wasting.

My Interests

Music at insane levels of volume, getting out of Louisville to go about anywhere I've never been, watching grass grow, making smores, threatening drivers .. phones with any of my many assorted handguns, singing "The Humpty Dance" with helium-filled lungs, throwing rocks and empty beer bottles at the ratty-ass cars who drive through mah 'hood with the bass cranked at 4 a.m., kidnapping small woodland creatures and freeing them in public places, slightly exaggerating my profile.

I'd like to meet:

Drunken idiots, people who aren't allergic to shellfish, Tom Waits, Keira Knightly, Samuel L. Jackson and the guy who invented "The Clapper".
Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
Your name:
Weapon of Choice: Shovel
Your Favorite Target: Elderly women
Your Kill Count: 1,702,521,407
Your Battle Cry: "Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp?"
Years You Spend in Jail: 17
How Much Money In Damages You Cause: $117,795,270,472,959
Your Homocidal Insanity Level: 64%

Music:

How about alphabetically?: Alkaline Trio, All, Avail, Bad Brains, Black Flag, Blanks 77, the Blue Meanies, The Cramps, The Damned, The Dead Kennedys, Five Iron Frenzy, Fugazi, Greaser. . . some, The Heretics, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, L7, the Lunachicks, Madness, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Minor Threat, The Misfits, The Mr. T Experience, NOFX, The Queers, The Ramones, Reggie and the Full Effect, Reverend Horton Heat, Screeching Weasel, Sex Pistols, Snotboy 77, Sonic Youth, The Specials, Sunspring, the Vandals, Wesley Willis

Movies:

Bad Taste, Army of Darkness, The Jersey Quintilogy, anything with Lee Marvin, Bond films, Bound, El Mariachi, Plan 9 from outer space, Dawn of the Dead, Wild Things, Dead Alive, I'm drawing ablank due to the effort exerted on the music category. I'll update later.

Television:

Infomercials and children's programming.

Books:

Anarchist Cookbook, but I only read it for the dance steps so FUCK OFF you Fed assholes. Lately. . . Angels and Demons and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.

Heroes:

Lenny Bruce, Gigi Allin, Mike Vallely
Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

My Blog

Drunken Spelling Errors and other nonsense

I realize, even though I'm on the verge of passing out that it's Rachael Ray, not Rachel Rea (thanks for the correction Jenna from Wisconsin whose only time spent on my profile was correcting spelling...
Posted by Evil Fletcher on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 09:45:00 PST

A secret of cooking Rachel Rea doesn't know. . .

I have a secret. . . Add Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum to anyhting involving sweet potatoes this holiday season. At least 1/4 cup prior to baking. About 1/2 to 1 cup after baking if you're ballsy. . ...
Posted by Evil Fletcher on Sat, 18 Nov 2006 08:36:00 PST

Chuck Norris is my new religion

www.chucknorrisfacts.com
Posted by Evil Fletcher on Sat, 04 Mar 2006 09:21:00 PST

Insomnia

Ever have one of those nights when you're trying to wind down and you check the e-mail one last time and you open that one that your friend sent that contains a single hyperlink and it taakes you to t...
Posted by Evil Fletcher on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 09:24:00 PST

All Downhill from here. . .

Amazing how the whole rest of your life can seem like a total blur, the people closest to you geographically could give a rats ass, and the only people who even acknowledge a milestone in a friends li...
Posted by Evil Fletcher on Fri, 30 Sep 2005 08:00:00 PST

End of the Century

It has been since Wednesday and I still have yet to come up with words. Three of the original four Ramones have now passed on into the rock and roll afterlife, and we still have nothing but crap on t...
Posted by Evil Fletcher on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Hell of a heartland

So for those of you Dallas and Oklahoma folks that I left behind, I just want you to know that I'm going broke rapidly. There. I said it. That's right ladies. The line for a candle-lit dinner of s...
Posted by Evil Fletcher on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

microwaved pepto-bismol

Anybody try drinking this stuff warm? It's better than black-cherry Kool-aid. Hey, don't look at me like that, the friggin Australians have figured out a way to get drunk 10X quicker by vaporizing a...
Posted by Evil Fletcher on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Friggin Journal Advice.

Stay in school. Don't do drugs. Listen to lots and lots of Slayer. That's all I can come up with for all of you who nag me to post a journal entry. If you want more, I need more specific questions...
Posted by Evil Fletcher on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST