♥ Sam's girl ♥

Lord knows he has etched countless dreams into my heart and soul. I thank Him everyday for the passion He has given me for things in life. –Even the seemingly small and insignificant things. Most of my complex involves more emotions and characteristics than I think one person should be given. The way my own self is, and dealing with the emotional and mental consequences of how I am overwhelms sometimes, and frequently will lead me to another alter ego of anxiety and depression; just a cup from the bowl of soup of emotions that make up me, and the bowl of emotions being the very reason for why I had been lead to that particular cup out of the whole mix in the first place. It accounts for someone deeply moved very easily one way or another; someone who forgives and forgets every time, and possibly too quickly. It accounts for someone who is affected by others opinions and can often look down on themselves one day and be on top of the world the next. Everybody experiences thousands of emotions and feelings, yes! But it just seems I get them all about a billion times magnified and exaggerated which tends to make a consistently emotionally drained and stressed out Meagan Lee. But the deepest dreams and desires I have, have been etched so deep, and emit and carry such raw heart and weight, that I honestly don’t think anyone but God can understand, and rightly so, for He gave me those passions. I am squirming as I write this. There is an anticipation built up inside of me for what is to come of my life for God. Its pressure is so dangerously high that it consumes me. I know, that I know, that I know, that I know, God has something utterly tremendous for my life. He has lit a fire in me that is screaming out, “Something BIG is coming….something HUGE is coming….something beyond even the greatness your family and friends are expecting back home…” My soul is screaming and squirming for the day God reveals and unveils this part of my life. My destiny hasn’t been fully revealed to me yet. My biggest future plans and goals are yet known. I think if God told me what I was going to be doing a few years from now, I couldn’t handle it. I say this with complete seriousness. I think I would be so baffled and dumbfounded, my heart would stop or something. And this is why I’m in college. I’m in training. I’m in God’s army. I am in preparation to handle my future role in this war against Satin; in preparation for the long journey ahead to reach the lost through the instilled passions and talents God has given me. Here at Southeastern I’m working on a music degree as well as Communications/Journalism. –I could be here for a while! I know I want be married. Don’t know if this will be within the next five years, but a separate dream of mine is to be a mother. I want a family. I want children. I want to take care of a house and make it a home. I want to be a good wife. I want to lay a foundation of Christian values and morals for my family. I want to take care of people. With so many dreams, many of which still hazy and detail of which known only to God, it’s not easy to pinpoint what I’m working toward. I do feel I’m where I need to be and on the right track. As they say, “its horse-shoes and hand grenades from here,” but God is in control! Amen.Layout made by serenekitten2002